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[INFJ] How to seduce as an INFJ?

iwakar

crush the fences
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:slaps you on the back:

Runvy ole boy, your Debbie Downer ways still ain't changed. Pity too. There's an xNTJ out there somewheres waiting to slurp up your big, juicy heart like a smoothie.
 

runvardh

にゃん
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:slaps you on the back:

Runvy ole boy, your Debbie Downer ways still ain't changed. Pity too. There's an xNTJ out there somewheres waiting to slurp up your big, juicy heart like a smoothie.

*holds out bag of dust*

She may need to add water first... :D

=^.^=
 

Skyward

Badoom~
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For me, I cant be myself around a person I'm romantically interested in. It doesn't happen unless I get distracted by another person nearby that I get distracted with. I have to make it through the 'pedestal phase' (Which is like emotionally chewing on gristle to get out of it) first before I am sure that I am ready to try to maybe start :D.

Being yourself and being an honest person is key, I think, to attracting INFJs. I think I put of an INFJ I was interested because I was doing a horrible job doing that 'seducing' thing.

Oh, and patience is important, too.
 

statuesquechica

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I wouldn't want an INFJ to try to seduce me. Their appeal is their authenticity.

The simplicity and truth to the above words, are brilliant, in my opinion.

I think of "seduction" as a natural process, otherwise, it feels forced and artificial. Truly being with someone, in the moment, is seductive and cannot be simulated through concious thought.
 

fill

"Everything in its place"
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I agree with statuesquenchica. I'd feel like a dick if I seduced somebody. That's so much for my own personal gain that I'm not sure I'm even capable of it. I'd rather show someone who I am instead of creating an ego to make myself look good. That's just a plain waste of time in my eyes.
 

r.a

meat popsicle
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Jul 4, 2009
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STFU
yeah its seems more often then not when i seduce someone i lose interest soon afterwards because it just didnt feel natural. id rather will things to become or just allow them to be.
 

the state i am in

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i think Ni dom is a little too sensitive for cliches for most "acts of seduction" to work, tho, at the same time, i don't view them too negatively. a few Ti connections, a bit of game-playing, a bit o' strategy, if you see an opportunity that could be great than fu8cking GO for it.

but for an infj to be seductive, so much of it is about fit, confidence, and chemistry. a reason to self-assert.

i've noticed with N doms i end up being much much much more open, free, lite, etc. i can jump around and kind of spazz out drawing little maps and stories and fairy tales. tumbling down the well. i think when we are open and really connected, which for me needs some privacy from the outside world like in the yo la tengo song my little corner of the world, i act very charming and enfj like. very disarming, goofy, spontaneous, pure F naivete and innocence and faith, etc.

but yeah, your convictions, your sensitivity to others, your insights, your idealism and desire for actualization and human potential, your humane spirit even if it sometimes clogs up the warmth from the pores of your skin, your writing voice, your quiet intensity, complexity, and mystery, and your deeply experimental mind-experiment are what make up your infjness. plus we can be both quirky AND a bit dark, really bridge the F-T gap well, big contrast, stylized, mood-sensitive but still abstract, critical, and insightful. we know how to use the symbols out there to locate ourselves, express taste and aesthetic-ethical interest, worldview, etc. we dig sharing values with others, it makes us feel warm and tingly and resonate/buzz hard.

finding a way to create a look for you that expresses how you fit and don't fit into pre-established discursive lines of culture, lifestyle, socio-economic lines, etc is a good start in creating a space for yourself, a statement, etc. making something, saying something, doing something, putting yourself out there. creating a bit more self-sufficiency, confidence, etc, and allowing yourself to test the waters more freely, let go a bit more, more openness to new experience, less immediate judging, less Ni paranoia and restrictiveness, etc. allowing yourself to connect wtih the world outside of yourself more freely, improve the thru traffic, and share yourself and your gifts more openly with the world. which will also make you better and smarter, give your iNtuition more to process and more reality checks, knock you off your high horse.
 

Werewolfen

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Come on strong but don't be whorish in a whorish way, then there's compatibility, but I have to have at least some time to have already studied you and gotten to know you, an extroverted friend of mine can go to a nightclub...meet some girl, get her number and be bedding down with her within mere days, nuh uh, I can't do that....I don't operate that way.

I need at least 3 weeks of being around you to allow you into my comfort zone, having time to have studied you and learned your emotions, then the wolf will come out. :newwink:
 

tibby

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Nov 22, 2008
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fool
i've noticed with N doms i end up being much much much more open, free, lite, etc. i can jump around and kind of spazz out drawing little maps and stories and fairy tales. tumbling down the well. i think when we are open and really connected, which for me needs some privacy from the outside world like in the yo la tengo song my little corner of the world, i act very charming and enfj like. very disarming, goofy, spontaneous, pure F naivete and innocence and faith, etc.

This.
 

simulatedworld

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It's pretty tough because they're so wary of people who try to take advantage of them (or who they perceive to be doing so.)
 

BallentineChen

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What seduces me is when a pretty woman approaches me and makes clear her intentions. This thread would be more interesting if INFJs disregarded the long view for a moment. Feel the rapture!
 

Tiny Army

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This is really not difficult.

Just pretend you care.
 

Asterion

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This is really not difficult.

Just pretend you care.

So that's what I'm doin wrong :blush: It's hard to just keep pretending that you care though isn't it?

[add]: (just realized the topic) it's their feminine charm! And they are always stylish too. And the rarity, nobody would pay money for fuel if it rained from the sky...
 

Tiny Army

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This is why you leave when they start noticing you don't.
 

Lauren Ashley

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This is how to seduce AS an INFJ. Meaning if you are an INFJ, how would you go about seducing others. Not how to seduce an INFJ (in which case the answer is that you can't).
 

Lightyear

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Not how to seduce an INFJ (in which case the answer is that you can't).

My experience too. If someone tries to seduce me (in the sense that he is only interested in sex) he will get doorslammed so quickly he doesn't even know what's happening to him (and I will giggle to myself underneath my cold exterior). Most guys don't even try, if he is only interested in a fling it's far too much effort.
 

Asterion

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My experience too. If someone tries to seduce me (in the sense that he is only interested in sex) he will get doorslammed so quickly he doesn't even know what's happening to him (and I will giggle to myself underneath my cold exterior). Most guys don't even try, if he is only interested in a fling it's far too much effort.

Romance over sexiness yeah? so then INFJs being seductive would be a fallacy. I'm thinking that maybe INFJs don't need to be seductive, they just naturally draw people in towards them.
 

mortabunt

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Find a mature ESTJ. Also, don't project what you feel or want to beleive onto another person. And remember: the ESTJ can take care of you, but you have to prove yourself to the.
 

runvardh

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Na, you guys can be seduced, it just takes time and some passionate discussions on something non-sexual.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
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Na, you guys can be seduced, it just takes time and some passionate discussions on something non-sexual.

We're going to have to be clear on how we are defining seduce. INFJs generally can not be seduced as in:

1. To lead away from duty, accepted principles, or proper conduct.
2. To induce to engage in sex.

They can, however, be won over by earnest interest in long-term commitments :)
 
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