[INFJ] How to seduce as an INFJ?

[Lightyear]

Yes I nicked the idea from the INTP thread...


So any ideas? What would other types find so attractive about us that they just couldn't resist? (I would also really like to hear what sensors think about us since I am not sure they are as enarmoured with our "head in the clouds" disposition as an N might be. I personally have a certain ESFP friend of mine in mind here )

 

[r.a]

Yes I nicked the idea from the INTP thread...

good call

 

[Sniffles]

What would other types find so attractive about us that they just couldn't resist?

I have no freaking clue. I guess it's our Fe. So yeah, strike hard when they're down(you know in emotional distress and whatnot), and after that it's only a matter of time.

 

[Athenian200]

I think INFJs are above that kind of behavior.

We want to be liked for who we are, not for something we can do or show. Seduction only appeals to the latter and puts a mask over the the former... not in keeping with my ideals at all.

 

[Sniffles]

You can still seduce while geninunely caring for the person.

 

[r.a]

What would other types find so attractive about us that they just couldn't resist?

i'm honestly pretty oblivious to what people might see in me alot of the time, but i appreciate the attention when i notice it

 

[Athenian200]

You can still seduce while geninunely caring for the person.

Of course you would care about them. That isn't the point.

The point is that if you seduce someone successfully, they enjoyed the seduction. They didn't appreciate the person doing the seducing, they enjoyed an illusion/facade that will, sooner or later, fade.

I suppose this might be related to my definition of seduction... it would be to consciously act in a particular way to get someone to like you. Being yourself and having someone happen to like that wouldn't be seduction in my book, because I define it as a conscious act that involves emphasizing the aspects of yourself another person would find appealing.

Come to think of it... I think INFJs naturally do something similar to seduction in an unconscious way, and that trying to control the process consciously will only make them perform more poorly than normal.

 

[r.a]

I think INFJs naturally do something similar to seduction in an unconscious way, and that trying to control the process consciously will only make them perform more poorly than normal.

 

[Lightyear]

I suppose this might be related to my definition of seduction... it would be to consciously act in a particular way to get someone to like you. Being yourself and having someone happen to like that wouldn't be seduction in my book, because I define it as a conscious act that involves emphasizing the aspects of yourself another person would find appealing.

I think everyone who is interested in someone does something akin to seduction, even if it's an innocent kind of seduction. Of course you want to present your better sides and spark the person's interest, I think it would be for example stupid to tell the person you fancy how you were so drunk last night that you fell into a ditch (unless the person happens to find that charming, for me that would be a major turn-off)

 

[Phantonym]

I think everyone who is interested in someone does something akin to seduction, even if it's an innocent kind of seduction. Of course you want to present your better sides and spark the person's interest, I think it would be for example stupid to tell the person you fancy how you were so drunk last night that you fell into a ditch (unless the person happens to find that charming, for me that would be a major turn-off)

I agree with you on that there is always some form of seduction involved, even if it is subconscious. However, it's not that much of a good strategy in the long run. The reality hits when you have sparked the person's interest. Drawing form your example, hiding the part of yourself that does enjoy an occasional drunken ditch dive, is a sure way to smother that spark. So why bother pretending? Seduction feels awkward and fake.

 

[Athenian200]

I think everyone who is interested in someone does something akin to seduction, even if it's an innocent kind of seduction. Of course you want to present your better sides and spark the person's interest, I think it would be for example stupid to tell the person you fancy how you were so drunk last night that you fell into a ditch (unless the person happens to find that charming, for me that would be a major turn-off)

Well, sure... but the thing is, if the person is the sort that gets drunk and falls into ditches, then I'd prefer they didn't pretend to be better than that. I would at least respect them for not hiding it... though it would bother me a bit. They should either happen to be good enough people in other ways to make up for it, or else they're not really worth knowing.

I don't like the whole idea of viewing things in terms of "turn-offs." It seems extremely fake, and disturbingly pragmatic. That seems to be missing the whole point I was trying to make, that you should only want to attract people that appreciate your WHOLE self.

Maybe you're not an INFJ...

I agree with you on that there is always some form of seduction involved, even if it is subconscious. However, it's not that much of a good strategy in the long run. The reality hits when you have sparked the person's interest. Drawing form your example, hiding the part of yourself that does enjoy an occasional drunken ditch dive, is a sure way to smother that spark. So why bother pretending? Seduction feels awkward and fake.

Yes, agreed. Exactly what I was thinking.

 

[Phantonym]

I don't like the whole idea of viewing things in terms of "turn-offs." It seems extremely fake, and disturbingly pragmatic. That seems to be missing the whole point I was trying to make, that you should only want to attract people that appreciate your WHOLE self.

That's just it. If you're not willing to take the other person just as they are, something other than acknowledging the person's existence is never going to happen.

 

[durentu]

My INFJ seduction tactic (proven with at least 1 INFJ): share a story or artwork that is based completely in fantasy dusted with a good amount of mystic energy. It must be absolutely unique. They also love small trinkets as signs of affection. Chocolate and noticing odd behavior about them goes a long way. The have trouble remembering the past since their minds are biased towards the future. So not repeating bad or questionable behavior or events works in your favor.

Immensely enjoys things that are completely devoid of utility. If there's no use for it, but is aesthetic, they probably will like it. Having pets or a kid with you helps (pet or baby sitting). They are attracted to the dreamer seeking a soulmate.

That's all I got.

Now that I think about, it may be because I'm very stoic.


generally, this stems from my general definition of love

love is the understanding, validation and acceptance of another person's reality.

 

[BlahBlahNounBlah]

I wouldn't want an INFJ to try to seduce me. Their appeal is their authenticity.

 

[laudanum225]

I can't remember ever having seduced anyone. Played with the idea in my head, yes, definitely, but actually achieved... argh.

 

[mszoe]

Hello all,
INFJ here, currently in a relationship with an INTP.

Advice to those who seek to seduce an INFJ. Simply be yourself. Share with us your stories, dreams, ideas, and we will feel special. We love to be the confidante.

As durentu stated, INFJs are extremely ecstatic and feel loved when you notice our quirks and likes and validate them. INFJs discover what they like and don't like very early on and commonly our childhood interests persist into adulthood (especially princess stories).

Personally speaking though, I do not like to be smothered in gifts and compliments, because then I will get suspicious.

Thus, my INTP and I have a rather harmonious balance. He is not the sappy type and he enjoys sharing his mind with me, so I feel special and acknowledged for my intelligence. At the same time, he takes mental notes of my habits and quirks, and feeds them once in a while (ie preparing food the specific way I like it. allowing me to take my long time to eat. encouraging my hobbies)

I am happy to share more about giving an INFJ the warm fuzzies

 

[iwakar]

We don't seduce you. Like our INTJ brethren, we choose you. So watch out!

Course, after we've got you... well... that's classified.

 

[runvardh]

You do it just fine with out thinking about it...

 

[whimsical]

mystery is attractive/sexy

 

[runvardh]

It is, as much as that has never worked for me. I seem to just disappear...