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[INFP] I think my Son may be an INFP, advice please.

scantilyclad

almost nekkid
Joined
Jul 31, 2007
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4w5
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so/sp
I thought maybe a sensitive INTP too :yes:.

I also thought this as soon as i read the description. I could relate with some of the things that were in the description, but he mostly sounds just like my best friend when he was about 8, and he is an INTP, although now he doesn't cry ever.
 

wren

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Jul 3, 2009
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Were you referring to my son as being like intp? Can't tell cuz there's no indication.

But intp I question b/c he's not into school AT ALL and doesn't seem to have a mental shrewdness like what I thought nt might possess. He's smart I know that, but it's not focused, at this point in his life. Maybe he's INtX. :shock:
 

Wiley45

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Mar 3, 2009
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669
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I haven't known any INTP's as children (that I'm aware of) but the teen and adult INTP's I've known have struggled with motivation in school. One INTP I know is brilliant and almost dropped out of high school.
 

r.a

meat popsicle
Joined
Jul 4, 2009
Messages
496
MBTI Type
STFU
I read the first few posts and wanted to get this out of my head so I will go back and finish reading as well as the links posted.

I will add upfront his mother and I divorced more than 2 years ago so his life has been about a lot of change and adjusting.

I just want to explain him a little and see if anybody relates. My heart bleeds for this child in a way I didn't know was possible, him sad, makes my heart hurt on the most core level possible. He's an incredibly emotional child, he cries if he gets sent to his room for hurting his sister, he cries if he gets punished to do yard work, he cries if I push him to do something you doesn't think he can physically do even if it's well within his limits. He cries if his sister hits him even though he's 45 pounds heavier and she clearly didn't cause him any actual pain.

He's the middle of three so he's always had somebody there to keep him company, the worst punishment I can give him seems to be alienating him from the other kids. However after he gets over it and or course cries about being punished he normally goes off into his own world and does fine.

I can see his mind always working and at 8 he's already too good of a debater for his ISFJ mother to handle. He can deduce the logical work around for most problems and he is excellent at trying to work the system or find a loophole. I cause him some serious frustration in that area as this is the foundation of an ENTP so he clearly can't do it or come even close with me. Normally in these situations he'll get upset and cry saying something like "I just want a normal dad" something else I know isn't the real issue.

He doesn't care about school, drags his feet nonstop, would rather play a video game (not allowed at my house) than go to a store or do something outside. He's social but if we leave the house he wants to know where we're going, how long we'll be and if we deviate from that plan he notices. He also has an INSANE memory about little facts such as if you owe him something.

Oh and he also seems to not be having fun often. We'll go to the park to fly kites and everybody will be having a good time but sometimes he'll just sit and have a bad time. He's also fairly stubborn and digs his heals in a lot saying things like "you can't make me".

That's all I can think of at the moment and the reality is I want to handle him in a way that he learns, grows and finds some balance without causing him any damage at the same time. I don't know if any or all of this seems INFP like but he's clearly IFP as I'm thinking about it and thinks way too outside of the box to be a Sensor though I haven't really known many ISFPs.

is he creative? other than playing video games, what else would he rather be doing?
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
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Aug 2, 2008
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Were you referring to my son as being like intp? Can't tell cuz there's no indication.

I meant Samvega's child. Oops! Sorry about the confusion.
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
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Do everything you can to fix that. See if you can't make him into an IxTJ instead.

1. Force feed him as much math and economic theory as you can.

2. Emphasize the importance of preparation, contingency planning, and foresight at all times. Reward those behaviors while punishing any action that speaks to a lack of them.

3. Praise him when he does things efficiently, criticize anything he does that is inefficient.

He'll be an IxTJ in no time.

;)

(This is actually tongue-in-cheek)
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
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sp/sx
Were you referring to my son as being like intp? Can't tell cuz there's no indication.

But intp I question b/c he's not into school AT ALL and doesn't seem to have a mental shrewdness like what I thought nt might possess. He's smart I know that, but it's not focused, at this point in his life. Maybe he's INtX. :shock:

I think we were all referring to the OP's kid.

Besides, I was very good at school & focused academically, and I'm an NF. Not all NTs are book smart. ;)
 

mwv6r

New member
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Nov 22, 2008
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208
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4w5
I can usually spot INFP children by their facial expressions. They have a dreamy, angelic look that I love. It immediately makes me feel protective of them, like I want to shield them from the day-to-day realities of life so that they can keep enjoying their reveries.

Other observations of INFP children:

- rather lethargic
- usually artistic
- still waters run deep -- their facial expressions may not register joy or sadness, but after talking with them you'll realize that they are feeling emotion very, very deeply

Childhood is usually a happy, imaginative time for INFPs, help yours enjoy his -- don't push him to grow up too fast :eek:)
 

Samvega

Buddhist Misanthrope
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Dec 11, 2007
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1,073
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ENTP
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Thank you guys very much for your input, as you know I normally respond to things and posts quickly. In this situation I'm having a hard time doing so so I need a day to process and I will respond when my head is more clear.

I just want to post this to assure you all I'm very appreciative of the time you've taken to share your stories with me.
 

iwakar

crush the fences
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May 2, 2007
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FWIW, my young INTP brother's childhood was fraught with the same difficulties that my INFP boyfriend describes his childhood as having.

Whatever the case, I really hope we have been helpful to you.
 

Sizzling Berry

New member
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Apr 5, 2009
Messages
185
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INFP
Ooooh!

Samvega you have no idea how much pleasure you brought to my day by posting this thread. I love recalling childhood - hope it will be helpful for you as well.

What worked for me.

With my dad:

- trips to the forest - it was like changing realities, going to another world, if you respected it, it was a familiar yet vivid place where your imagination could fly

- reading - my dad read to me constantly - and not only kiddy stuff (that too), but also magazines about political and social issues - that helped develop abstract concepts in my head and language of course

- contact with animals - oh my dad brought various home - a hedgehog, a parrot, ducks, geese, cats, dogs - great fun bonding with them, learning how they communicate and my dad always a step behind watching and sometimes ready to participate

With my mom:

I believe she's an ENTJ ;P - so a bit closer to your type.

She was my backbone and shelter. I could go and explore, but always knew that if the shit got rough I could run back to take hide. I could tell her anything and although she might not have agreed with it, it would never change her feelings for me. She took time to listen and to understand. By that listening she actually challenged me because if I wanted to reach her I needed to speak calmly and more clearly - so it structured the murky concepts in my head. Eh mushy stuff but true.

The bottom-line is acceptance and patience - namely "I love you and will wait for you and encourage you to open up - you are very special."

And INFPs make sense after a while (if you patiently wait for it :)). We may not make sense in the middle stage of a relationship when we are not friends yet but already not perfect strangers. We test the waters then, about how our values may be treated in the future, so we kind of send feelers that may seem like random statements - just be patient through it. And we may need to use this procedure several times with the same person and different topics (even a very dear parent).

And what I was like as a kid?

Around others shy to initiate conversation and contact, but when challenged I delivered. If you had stolen my toys (or my friends' toys grrrrrr) I would steal them back no matter how much bigger you were. So sometimes I ended up being toughest, bravest kid in the backyard.

Maybe your son is a little lion as well.

Cheers :D
Sizzling
 
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