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[INFP] Are INFP's boring???

rainoneventide

New member
Joined
Jun 15, 2009
Messages
364
MBTI Type
INFP
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4
I'm not trying to gather a pity party or anything, but I always think I'm extremely bland and boring when I'm around others. So then I feel like I need to do something to entertain them and make them happy, but that only stresses me out more, so in the end I become boring because I don't know how to open up and be myself without risking the pain of rejection. All the walls go up. I always feel like I need to be more, I need to be better.

I think the best advise for fellow INFP's out there is to say in your mind "screw this". Seriously. Just try and stop worrying about being perceived as boring. Instead of labeling yourself, try to be more objective and think--I'm not boring, that guy is just too fucking hard to amuse.

I've been trying to practice what I preach more, and it feels much better. With the newfangled "screw this" philosophy, I become less stressed and anxious, and then my real self slowly emerges. It's not about being more fun, it's about realizing that you shouldn't give a shit about what people think, because people are going to think whatever they want to think no matter what you think. ... :)

I also try to remember past, positive encounters with others. They're just little things, but they make me feel good.

I definitely feel more at ease once I manage to give myself more credit.
 
Last edited:

Synapse

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Dec 29, 2007
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3,359
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INFP
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4
Would also like to add if you can write more than a page about your life then you ain't boring, and every person can.

Boring is a subjective term really, what is boring to one person is a gem to the next.
Usually introversion tends to shine less than extroversion since the energy is different in expressing and processing information. Place brain mapping equipment to learn the kind of activity that is happening then a completely different picture unfolds.
 

nasmoe

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Sep 15, 2008
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78
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IXFP
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5
I enjoy everything I do on my own time so technically no, but to others, sure.
 

CzeCze

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GONE
INFPs are boring when they lose confidence or don't feel safe to come out of their shell. They will withdraw and remain very silent and still, not unlike a turtle into its shell, and not come out again until they feel its safe to play.

Withdrawal is a common safety mechanism it's just that being already baseline shy, INFPs doing it a lot means that people around them (except for the kindred spirits who can sense their real personalities under the surface) will never really see the actual INFP, just their game-safety face.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
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Messages
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GONE
I'm not trying to gather a pity party or anything, but I always think I'm extremely bland and boring when I'm around others..

See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I think INFPs are humble (which is a positive trait) but lacking confidence is the pebble in your shoe. You get on a self-defeating loop the way INTPs do (but with them it's about lack of competency or some other 'worst case scenario' loop) and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I've dated at least one INFP who said those exact words, "I'm actually a pretty boring person. I'm not that interesting". I think she really believed that and it caused all kinds of problems (amongst other things) because she had all these confidence and even trust issues that was compounded by INFP need for reassurance.
 

pockets

New member
Joined
Sep 19, 2008
Messages
69
MBTI Type
HUMM
I'm not trying to gather a pity party or anything, but I always think I'm extremely bland and boring when I'm around others. So then I feel like I need to do something to entertain them and make them happy, but that only stresses me out more, so in the end I become boring because I don't know how to open up and be myself without risking the pain of rejection. All the walls go up. I always feel like I need to be more, I need to be better.

I think the best advise for fellow INFP's out there is to say in your mind "screw this". Seriously. Just try and stop worrying about being perceived as boring. Instead of labeling yourself, try to be more objective and think--I'm not boring, that guy is just too fucking hard to amuse.

I've been trying to practice what I preach more, and it feels much better. With the newfangled "screw this" philosophy, I become less stressed and anxious, and then my real self slowly emerges. It's not about being more fun, it's about realizing that you shouldn't give a shit about what people think, because people are going to think whatever they want to think no matter what you think. ... :)

I also try to remember past, positive encounters with others. They're just little things, but they make me feel good.

I definitely feel more at ease once I manage to give myself more credit.

pretty much the same experience for me.
i actually think 'screw this' too.
 

wooten3955

New member
Joined
Jun 13, 2012
Messages
1
MBTI Type
infp
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9/4
Instinctual Variant
sx
I always think I'm extremely bland and boring when I'm around others. So then I feel like I need to do something to entertain them and make them happy, but that only stresses me out more, so in the end I become boring because I don't know how to open up and be myself without risking the pain of rejection. All the walls go up. I always feel like I need to be more, I need to be better.

OMG, I sooo relate to this! I just had this experience, and am so glad I am not the only one, that there is another person out there who has experienced this same thing. I guess my conclusion is similar to yours...screw it! As a wise person once told me, I was not put on this earth to please other people, so who cares what they think.

Also, interaction is a two-way street. Maybe I feel boring because the other person has not found a way to draw me out. INFP's spend most of their time living inside their heads, BUT we can become very animated and passionate about things we care deeply about. Perhaps if we feel "boring" around certain individuals, it's because we don't have enough things in common, or the other person hasn't hit on the topics we care most about.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
7,756
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INFP
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6w7
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so/sx
I think it's the combination of introspection (I), concept-focus (N), inner-feeling (Fi), and non-closure-oriented P that create the situation of INFPs being a little harder to spark mutual exchange with. The introspection makes you largely internal-self-focused, and your strongest convictions are based in personal feeling, which is often hard to share about in the first place, much less is it always well-understood by the world. The external focus that you do have is Ne, which means that you're mostly looking at patterns and atmospheres, and not attending to the concrete reality that others can easily engage with as well. And finally, the lack of J means unlike INFJs, you exhibit less of a major drive to actively change the external world (their Ni/Fe combo). In this way I would say INFPs are the most cognitively "removed" of all the types from the tangible world, and simultaneously, then, the hardest to engage with. However, that doesn't mean that engagement with you is not very rewarding! Plus being the most removed has an equal benefit, which is that of not being limited by the tangible world and therefore being able to be the most idealistic of the types, the ones who are best able to envision and strive for the highest betterment of humanity. INFPs are sort of the most "pure" of the types.
 

Betty Blue

Let me count the ways
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Messages
5,063
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ENFP
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7W6
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sp/sx
AW man, boring?-no way.
My love of INFP's is no secret in this here microcosm, the only thing i ever find difficult is their self deprecating. Oh i have had some of the most fascinating talks with our choice selection.
So many super duper interesting INFP's here. :wubbie:
 

Joehobo

Member
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
293
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Only boring people find me boring.
 

Mia.

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
821
Sometimes I feel like "INFP's: The most interesting people that you will never actually bother to talk to."

Hehe, agreed.

Not if you get past their shields.

You sir, are awesome.

I'd love if people would come to me to talk but at the same time I'm trying my hardest to blend in to the background.

There’s the rub.

It's because you guys are damned invisible. After talking to Udog, Ihave been trying to engage the INFPs. You guys are like faries.

"hi INFP, how are you?" Down go the eyes in a sweet Fi way and you deflect the conversation onto somebody else in the room. Like you have force fields or something.

Then I look up and you have vanished into the mist.....

:ninja:

In a word...No!
I love INFPs, they are more stable than ENFPs yet are on the same wavelength. They can enough sense without going off on excited tangents!
:D

I think of us as ENFP lite.

I think 80% people think I'm insanely boring. The things that interest me, consequently the stuff I like to talk about, often leaves people with either this glazy eyed expression or a WTF look. I don't think they dislike me - they just think I'm a harmless weirdo. I would have to say I'm not the sort of person people ever really hate, nor am I the person people really like. To me, this = boring.

As for the other 20% of people:
- 18-19% tolerate my 'boring-ality' because they kinda like me despite it.
- 1-2% really connect with me and find me interesting
.

This is spot on.

I also think we are somewhat of an acquired taste. Those who like us, and find us fascinating, tend to hold us in high regard, but I guess more than a few people wonder why, 'till some thing sage comes from our mouths.

Makes sense.

I think if you can dig under the solid steel walls of an INFP without scaring them too much, you'll probably find them to be very interesting people. The iron clad fence may look dull on the outside, but on the inside there is a hyper imaginative mind.

This is very accurate. My mind is an imaginative circus that hardly anyone ever sees. And the walls thing.... yeah.... heaven help us if we have a decent amount of sp in our stacking or have had some bad experiences.

it takes them a while to formulate their thoughts, sometimes.

Sometimes? :alttongue:

i'm not sure what it is, but it seems like there's a lot of subspecies of infps, and i don't think it's just that i identify with the values of some very strongly and the values of others weakly. it MIGHT be 4w5 vs 9w1, but i really don't think so. occasionally you'll meet an infp that seems so brilliant and complex and masterful when dealing with (the articulation/understanding of?) the world of feeling. it's deeply humane, profound, and healing. helps release those things festering inside all of us, give voice to them, hear them finally for the first time, and use that productively in our lives/know ourselves better.

:)

However, I think UDog has hit upon the problem. INFPs are unassuming. Unassuming is often boring. Also, some of us tend to have issues interacting in anything other than a one on one setting, so... unless conditions are practically perfect, any potential for being interesting is locked away. Internally, the INFP in a group setting is too busy gasping like a fish to be interesting. Or... at least me. I believe some of the more extroverted types can function better with people, and draw attention through antics and general charisma, and as INFPs, we are keenly aware of the fact that we can't capture interest in such a way- whether or not we'd actually want to. (Afterall, it is contrary to our character to be in the spotlight...)

Yeah, unassuming is a fair descriptor. And I infinitely prefer the one on one setting.

INFPs are boring when they lose confidence or don't feel safe to come out of their shell. They will withdraw and remain very silent and still, not unlike a turtle into its shell, and not come out again until they feel its safe to play.

Withdrawal is a common safety mechanism it's just that being already baseline shy, INFPs doing it a lot means that people around them (except for the kindred spirits who can sense their real personalities under the surface) will never really see the actual INFP, just their game-safety face.

This is so true.

See, that's exactly what I'm talking about. I think INFPs are humble (which is a positive trait) but lacking confidence is the pebble in your shoe.
I've dated at least one INFP who said those exact words, "I'm actually a pretty boring person. I'm not that interesting". I think she really believed that and it caused all kinds of problems (amongst other things) because she had all these confidence and even trust issues that was compounded by INFP need for reassurance.

Again, unfortunately so true.

I think it's the combination of introspection (I), concept-focus (N), inner-feeling (Fi), and non-closure-oriented P that create the situation of INFPs being a little harder to spark mutual exchange with. The introspection makes you largely internal-self-focused, and your strongest convictions are based in personal feeling, which is often hard to share about in the first place, much less is it always well-understood by the world. The external focus that you do have is Ne, which means that you're mostly looking at patterns and atmospheres, and not attending to the concrete reality that others can easily engage with as well. And finally, the lack of J means unlike INFJs, you exhibit less of a major drive to actively change the external world (their Ni/Fe combo). In this way I would say INFPs are the most cognitively "removed" of all the types from the tangible world, and simultaneously, then, the hardest to engage with. However, that doesn't mean that engagement with you is not very rewarding! Plus being the most removed has an equal benefit, which is that of not being limited by the tangible world and therefore being able to be the most idealistic of the types, the ones who are best able to envision and strive for the highest betterment of humanity. INFPs are sort of the most "pure" of the types.

It’s interesting, because [MENTION=13260]Rasofy[/MENTION] had mentioned something similar…
 
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