[INFJ] Exhaustion & despression

[The Grand Chameleon]

Often after extreme physical exhaustion, when I am alone I turn to thoughts that remind me of negative times. Such memories would never normally cross my mind, but they seem to display themselves only under this condition. It doesn't make much sense to me, so perhaps someone could shed some light on the situation.

 

[Domino]

It may be as simple as your body being exhausted and less able to hold back latent thoughts. I do this too - when my energy levels are up, I'm less badgered by negative memories or ideas. The very ability to get up and move and take action probably pushes those thoughts away until they can move in on you in a weakened state.

 

[Fidelia]

When you have a big deadline coming up or a lot of work to get done, you remain healthy, but as soon as that important thing is done you often get sick. Maybe the negative thoughts are being staved off in the same way that exhaustion is. When exhaustion finally hits, it's like your emotional immune system also is compromised.

 

[Totenkindly]

When I get exhausted, I sometimes get depressed.
(I've even had times where I start to cry simply because my body is so tired.)

Since exhaustion and depression are both "down" feelings, you might also have them cross-referenced in your head.... the one experience triggers memories of the others just by prior connection. The body is very good at developing behavior/defense mechanisms like that (a la Pavlov's dogs).

 

[Polaris]

Physical exhaustion is a negative feeling, and any negative feeling can start a whole chain reaction of them. I suffer from chronic fatigue, so I know this well--I feel great when my body feels great, and I'm irritable when I'm tired, because I'm tired.

 

[Domino]

I'm sorry to hear that, Nunki. One of my very best friends has chronic fatigue and it was really awful for her, esp when we were all teenagers and she could barely move. I have inherited genetic auto-immune problems myself, and it's exhausting. Being physically drained kicks the door open to all manner of low thoughts.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

Most of my really negative memories are tied to times when I felt inadequate and helpless. When I'm really physically exhausted (not just tired from playing hard), I start feeling like I'll never feel capable again. The vulnerability is similar, and triggers old negative inner dialogue.

I'm there right now, actually. Good diet, B vitamins and omega oils help a little.

 

[Domino]

Good nutrition and Sir Mix-A-Lot.

 

[The Grand Chameleon]

This all makes sense. I now know the cause, but is there a cure? A healthy lifestyle definitely helps normal modes of functioning, but what is the aid for extreme modes (in this case, physical exhaustion)? Sleep is a proven remedy, but the negative thoughts fester between post-"workout" and la-la land. What can be done within this time frame?

 

[Domino]

Call a friend and chat until the "danger" time has passed?

 

[Kyrielle]

This all makes sense. I now know the cause, but is there a cure? A healthy lifestyle definitely helps normal modes of functioning, but what is the aid for extreme modes (in this case, physical exhaustion)? Sleep is a proven remedy, but the negative thoughts fester between post-"workout" and la-la land. What can be done within this time frame?

Try to work through getting over those memories when you are not exhausted. Maybe that's why you think about them when your defences are down. Because somewhere in your head, you haven't gotten over them and that's why they keep popping up when there's nothing to push them away.

Maybe write down what you're thinking about and how you feel, then address the matter once you've had some rest. Maybe talk to a friend about your memories.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

Are you currently on meds for depression? (sorry, can't remember if you mentioned it) Sometimes they help take the "edge" off temporarily, so you can work through standing issues, like kyrielle mentioned. If it's the issues and beliefs that accompany them that are triggering depression, you might be able to come of the meds eventually without a hitch after gaining some coping tools.

 

[The Grand Chameleon]

Call a friend and chat until the "danger" time has passed?

Egad! I've honestly never considered this. The painfully obvious has recently begun to be somewhat evasive. It's not natural for me to express negativity to friends, for I feel people have enough to deal with less my own meandering experiences (although this somewhat contradicts the thread). Is that typical to our type, you think? But I'll heed your advice and equate "calling a friend" with browsing TypoC. On a side note, prepare your inbox for an influx of insidious inferences regarding the inner self.

Try to work through getting over those memories when you are not exhausted. Maybe that's why you think about them when your defences are down. Because somewhere in your head, you haven't gotten over them and that's why they keep popping up when there's nothing to push them away.

Maybe write down what you're thinking about and how you feel, then address the matter once you've had some rest. Maybe talk to a friend about your memories.

Mistakes made in life, people that have gotten hurt by my actions, people that have hurt me...are always constantly nagging, which results in an endless drive for self-improvement. When a problem occurs, it is the first priority to resolve the matter in a way beneficial to all the parties involved. Perhaps this is a false sense of harmony, as everyone won but the arbitrator? That is an unsettling epiphany.

Writing does help, as it is now...as is the benefit of another's perspective

Are you currently on meds for depression? (sorry, can't remember if you mentioned it) Sometimes they help take the "edge" off temporarily, so you can work through standing issues, like kyrielle mentioned. If it's the issues and beliefs that accompany them that are triggering depression, you might be able to come of the meds eventually without a hitch after gaining some coping tools.

I don't take medications for depression, since I don't suffer chronic depression. This is more of an extreme acute case, of which prescription strength drugs would probably only serve to create another addict. But I wouldn't mind getting my hands on some of those coping tools you speak of. Care to share some from your own toolbox?

 

[Shaggy]

I usually get exhausted when my intuition fails to keep up with everything going on in my life. I tend to shutdown from lacking the ability to connect how I feel with the situations going on around me. When I get to that point, I demand an evening to myself to sit down with my acoustic and write a tune to make sense of things. My loved ones around me understand my need for space to prevent my shadow from surfacing.

 

[Saffronsocks]

This is random, but in emergency situations where I need a bit of a boost, I find standing on my head incredibly helpful. I think it has something to do with the rush of blood to the pinneal gland, which stimulates feelings of euphoria and calmness. After re-inverting myself I feel... more like myself, only tinglier. And I know that's short term and doesn't really help with emotional problems, but it's something...

Being kind to yourself is good, too.

 

[amelie]

Mistakes made in life, people that have gotten hurt by my actions, people that have hurt me...are always constantly nagging, which results in an endless drive for self-improvement. (cut)

I don't take medications for depression, since I don't suffer chronic depression. This is more of an extreme acute case, of which prescription strength drugs would probably only serve to create another addict. But I wouldn't mind getting my hands on some of those coping tools you speak of. Care to share some from your own toolbox?

Your rumination on things that you feel guilty about is a symptom of a major depressive episode, as is difficulty sleeping (falling asleep, staying asleep, waking up too early) - which leads to exhaustion, and lack of sleep is often a precursor for depression. In guys, depression can be more agitated than sad - check out "symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder" online and see if they fit - you have to have 5 of the 7 (or less for "Baby Depression" - Dysthmia). If it's been going on for more than 2 weeks, it becomes a medical issue. Would you feel like an addict if you needed insulin for diabetes? Needing anti-depressants for a chemical imbalance in your brain isn't any different.

As far as non-medical coping skills, exercise has been shown to help w/ mild to moderate depression and anxiety. Weight lifting has specifically been shown to help w/ anxiety - I forget the dose that was studied - maybe 3x week for 20 minutes or something. The point is that physical activity helps. Also, if you're a reader, Feeling Good by David Burns is a good self-help resource for people w/ depression. Social support is important - talking to a trusted friend, & making yourself not withdraw further from the social world. Therapy works, too.

 

[Jonathanthegreat]

Chameleon, I go through the same thing. I noticed that when I am alone I can turn on myself! It's weird and un healthy but the same way we encourage others and are optimistic about them, we must be the same way about ourselves. I noticed too that if I don't monitor my nutrition with care that I can indeed fall into a pit of emotional despair. But you just gotta hold on and talk yourself outta it. Being alone as an enfj is both good and bad. you just have to find a balance. wehn you feel negativity coming along just rationalize it to yourself that its not true. for instance, you think you are a jerk, then realize that jerks don't have any friends, and you have friends therefore you are not a jerk. its small things like that can help an enfj a lot. I recently got over negative thinking and i was dealing with it for YEARS. it was also because i was smoking weed and everytime i got high it was like i became my own worst enemy! i started to pick myself apart with negativity! you just have to realize that those thoughts are not true and value yourself. I hope this helped, please let me know in greater detail how you feel about yourself negatively, so I can give you some help.

 

[Domino]

Egad! I've honestly never considered this. The painfully obvious has recently begun to be somewhat evasive.

Believe me, I'm Captain Oblivious myself. I learned this trick from my sister, I think. *laughs*

It's not natural for me to express negativity to friends, for I feel people have enough to deal with less my own meandering experiences (although this somewhat contradicts the thread). Is that typical to our type, you think?

My male ENFJ friend, Taco, doesn't like to talk about the negative things affecting him either. I can tell when he's just bottling it up. He's gotten better about talking it through, but I can see it's still a problem. It has to be much harder for the guys in general. His INFP wife is good to him though.

I don't like talking about the really bad stuff because ultimately I feel as if I'm going to exiled from the group.

But I'll heed your advice and equate "calling a friend" with browsing TypoC. On a side note, prepare your inbox for an influx of insidious inferences regarding the inner self.

Bring your A-game, boy! I have sharks wearing laser hats!

Mistakes made in life, people that have gotten hurt by my actions, people that have hurt me...are always constantly nagging, which results in an endless drive for self-improvement. When a problem occurs, it is the first priority to resolve the matter in a way beneficial to all the parties involved. Perhaps this is a false sense of harmony, as everyone won but the arbitrator? That is an unsettling epiphany.

I still find I'm beating myself up over things I didn't get right that happened years ago that no one else remembers. No way is anyone getting at *those*. They'll stay in the back of my own mind where no one can see them. They'll go out in silence with me.

 

[The Grand Chameleon]

I usually get exhausted when my intuition fails to keep up with everything going on in my life. I tend to shutdown from lacking the ability to connect how I feel with the situations going on around me.

That's an interesting perspective. I never considered the notion of a malfunctioning N.

This is random, but in emergency situations where I need a bit of a boost, I find standing on my head incredibly helpful. I think it has something to do with the rush of blood to the pinneal gland, which stimulates feelings of euphoria and calmness. After re-inverting myself I feel... more like myself, only tinglier. And I know that's short term and doesn't really help with emotional problems, but it's something...

That's awesome. You just randomly get up and do a headstand? The ironic thing is, though, that I reach exhaustion because I'm inverted so often. Not that inversion causes exhaustion per se, but it does contribute in my case.

 

[MonkeyGrass]

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonkeyGrass View Post
Are you currently on meds for depression? (sorry, can't remember if you mentioned it) Sometimes they help take the "edge" off temporarily, so you can work through standing issues, like kyrielle mentioned. If it's the issues and beliefs that accompany them that are triggering depression, you might be able to come of the meds eventually without a hitch after gaining some coping tools.
I don't take medications for depression, since I don't suffer chronic depression. This is more of an extreme acute case, of which prescription strength drugs would probably only serve to create another addict. But I wouldn't mind getting my hands on some of those coping tools you speak of. Care to share some from your own toolbox?

Mine would probably look a little different than yours, since our issues are likely different. I'll share anyway, in case you see something that sparks your interest!

One of my major triggers is the convergence of several failings/criticisms at once, and it causes a loop of "old" thoughts to play in my head..without self-disclosing too much, here, it basically sounds like, "You suck! You're not worthy of anyone's effort". Forming another opinion of yourself and inserting that into the repeated negative thought loop helps sometimes. Not power of positive thinking script, but something you actually believe to be true about yourself when in your right mind, such as: "I"m not perfect, but I am capable of XYZ".

Exercise. Even if I'm exhausted, sometimes, it helps.

Stopping myself and re-evaluating my expectations for that moment. If I'm attempting too much, of course I'm going to fail.

Mental imagery helps. I do a lot of envisioning myself capturing problems in a bubble and then popping them away. Or smashing negative thoughts with a hammer. Pushing refrigerators off of cliffs. Whatever floats your boat. Word to the wise: don't tell ppl your imagery. After it's been thoroughly laughed at with tears streaming down your listener's face, it tends to lose it's potency.

I give myself a healthy dumbo's feather. For me, it's the smell of lavender (I know, totally girly), this herbal stuff that's basically a few drops of vodka and something else, or acting like a complete loon. (In the past, unfortunately, it was less healthy: burning myself with hot metal. Not really so much a long-term solution there. ) I tell myself that whatever it is will provide instant emotional release, and sometimes, it actually works. Sometimes, fooling one's self can be pretty clever.