Did I already go off somewhere about the needy/intimacy dynamic? Pretty sure I did somewhere...
Anywhoo, I realize that I've had more intimate connections with INFPs including dating my bff in college with an INFP. The reason 2 of those connections ended (I cut them off) with my friend and my romantic interest was the self-absorption and neediness on their part.
INFP/ENFP can get along really well and spend time together easily.
I love intimacy, I like being needed because ENFPs can be pretty intense and I feel like we have a lot to give of ourselves emotionally and whatnot (in fact, we
need that to reach our highest levels of functioning and to be happy).
However two of the INFPs I knew essentially were using me and not giving anything back substantial. I felt they took me for granted and were disrespectful and just
too selfish.
One has issues she's sorting out, the other was still growing up, but both were very immature in similar ways - overly sensitive, overly needy, wanted to be catered to, unappreciative. They were growing dependent on me in some ways but not giving back what I needed or wanted. It took a while in both cases but I realized that was not what I wanted or needed in my life so I got them out from the picture of my life.
Age has something to do with it but not really IMO - the 20 year old INFP I knew in college was much more communicative with me and honest than than 29 year old INFP that I dated.
I've joked about swearing off INFPs for dating, but I keep meeting wimminz that I like too much and then it turns out they are INFP.
NFPs in general can seem too erratic for people's tastes. Can seem to flip from loving and warm one minute to really selfish or standoffish the next.
If I have to second guess if you're into me or how much you're into me, it's not gonna work.