• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFP] enfp's fact or fiction

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
Joined
Nov 6, 2007
Messages
2,062
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I do this too....it's hard to be an anonymous giver in most situations. Especially in ones where it could be construed as means to get something out of the situation.

This is exactly it. My deepest fear, when I'm doing something for someone else, is that the meaning of my gift might be misinterpreted as device to get attention, which really crawls up my back. In my mind, there's no point in giving someone a gift if you've attached half a million emotional strings to it - that isn't honest.


I myself have problems accepting compliments or any sort of praise, and immediately try to rationalize it to the person who is giving it.
like "Well I owed you lunch bc you gave me jolly rancher in 3rd grade"

:D Hilarious! And very true.

Even gratitude. Do any other ENFPs have problems accepting "Thanks" ? Even if you know its deserved?

This is also very difficult for me. Again, it's about our drive to make people feel actualized, or to make their lives easier to live. There is a friend of mine who has ALS and is wheelchair bound - she's a big time hockey fan, and our NHL team holds an event that allows you to skate with some of the players. Well, her kids were able to get out there and skate around, but she had to sit and watch it all from the glass. I thought, " THIS BLOWS! We have to do something about this." So my father ( who is an occupational therapist ) and I worked with a team from the university, and we came up with a chair that the disabled can be placed into and pushed around on the ice with. ( like a modified Victorian skating chair, only with torso supports for those who can't sit upright on their own ). We were still in the prototype stage when I got an email from her mother, who was so happy and gratified that we hadn't allowed her daughter to be left out and forgotten, like remembering that she existed was this special thing. And all I could think was, " How can I forget her?! If I were her, I would want someone to care about my life. I would want to be treated like I mattered too." But it made me SO UNCOMFORTABLE having to accept this woman's thanks, even though she was just being appropriate. I just wanted her to know that I did it because her daughter's life had value, not because I wanted some sort of attention at her daughter's expense.

:p That was uncomfortable to even share now. lol
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
Oh, I know!

It just makes me uncomfortable when people shower me with thanks for... what? Something I'd do naturally because it doesn't put me out much at all and helps you immensely - why wouldn't I?
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Oh, I know!

It just makes me uncomfortable when people shower me with thanks for... what? Something I'd do naturally because it doesn't put me out much at all and helps you immensely - why wouldn't I?

Well, they probably do so for one of two reasons:

1. They feel unappreciative (perhaps due to upbringing) if they don't thank a benefactor, no matter how small the favor.
2. They feel as if they didn't deserve what you did for them.

Possibly both, actually.
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
Well, now that you mention that and I think on it, I'm completely the opposite in the reverse: when someone does something nice for me - even if they know I'm thankful (i.e. they're a friend and understand and I really don't need to say it), I feel compelled to thank them.

Strange, huh? I guess I don't shower it, though. Just as long as I make my appreciation known.

And, likewise, if I've made a blunder of some sort, (I've unwittingly been a bit rude, or something) I feel intensely embarrassed unless I specifically apologise to them. Most of the time the reaction I get is a bit like 'Huh? No, it's no problem. It's fine.'

Situations where I haven't had the chance to apologise stick out in my mind months later with embarrassment. But the other person has probably long forgotten.
 

Ender

Large Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2008
Messages
1,090
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
2w%
It just makes me uncomfortable when people shower me with thanks for... what? Something I'd do naturally because it doesn't put me out much at all and helps you immensely - why wouldn't I?

Is that usually an ENFP trait?.. Cause I always seem to devalue what I do for others when they try and thank me for it. While I secretly like it, it makes me feel awkward when receiving it.
 

targobelle

~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,584
MBTI Type
enfp
I'm not that sure about it. I just act; I don't think how I have an impact on people. I never thought of it. I get confused when I do notice I have impact on them and then I get embarrassed. It's really weird because I really LOVE people! :thinking:




:yes: yes :yes:


that makes sense!
 

CestMoi

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
Hi, all. I just wanted to stop in and say "hello". I'm a long-time ENFP - sounds funny saying that but this thread was quite an interesting read. I'm mature but not always mature, if you know what I mean so I'm still working on managing the less positive aspects of my personality.
 

Noel

Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
613
MBTI Type
INFP
Is that usually an ENFP trait?.. Cause I always seem to devalue what I do for others when they try and thank me for it. While I secretly like it, it makes me feel awkward when receiving it.

Agreed.
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
Hi, all. I just wanted to stop in and say "hello". I'm a long-time ENFP - sounds funny saying that but this thread was quite an interesting read. I'm mature but not always mature, if you know what I mean so I'm still working on managing the less positive aspects of my personality.

Hi CestMoi!

Glad to have you with us! :)
 

CestMoi

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
Thanks so much! It's nice to "meet" a group of us because I only know of two other ENFPs - one's my best friend but she's quite quirky and often takes a powder (like I do, LOL). The other I dated but that was eventually VERY annoying. He totally took me for granted! Beat me to the punch!
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
Ooh, dating another ENFP would be interesting, to say the least! :horor:



On another, random note - I am beginning to notice that a lot of ENFPs seem to be unsure of their E/I... I noticed a couple others on another thread - one changed their type to xNFP and the other mentioned the borderlineness.

So maybe it's not so unusual. :)
 

CestMoi

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
Hiya. Horror is an understatement! Egad, sharing the limelight when I wanted it? Huh? No way!

As for the I/E, I see what you mean. Maybe it has to do with our need to recharge after particularly intensive people sessions? I know, for me, I used to be way, way, way on the E side of things and almost could not stay alone. After spending 3 years in a rather boring area with no social life, though, things balanced out more nicely. Now, I can entertain myself quite well but will never sit for very long doing nothing - except maybe meditating, which I've taken up recently so that's been good.

I am definitely still an ENFP but it's strange since I don't socialize too much these days but when I do, it's like crazy, happy girl has arrived - as long as I like the company, mind you. Otherwise, I act like an introvert and especially in new situations because I must gauge the players and put them in their corresponding boxes, LOL. Once I've figured everyone out, I come out and let the light shine.
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
As for the I/E, I see what you mean. Maybe it has to do with our need to recharge after particularly intensive people sessions? I know, for me, I used to be way, way, way on the E side of things and almost could not stay alone. After spending 3 years in a rather boring area with no social life, though, things balanced out more nicely. Now, I can entertain myself quite well but will never sit for very long doing nothing - except maybe meditating, which I've taken up recently so that's been good.

I am definitely still an ENFP but it's strange since I don't socialize too much these days but when I do, it's like crazy, happy girl has arrived - as long as I like the company, mind you. Otherwise, I act like an introvert and especially in new situations because I must gauge the players and put them in their corresponding boxes, LOL. Once I've figured everyone out, I come out and let the light shine.

That's interesting! Especially how circumstance can totally change the way you deal with things.

I am kinda the opposite: I was really more an introverted teenager, always absorbed in books or something. My memories of high school are kinda foggy, even. ;)

But in the last couple of years I've really sort of discovered I am, in fact, an extravert. Funny about that. :p I'm still very good at occupying myself when I'm alone - and yah, even though I don't get out as much as I should, I'm never doing nothing, even at home. Usually I'm doing two or three things at once.

But yah, my socialising style seems to be much like what you described: quiet but friendly at first, and once I'm warmed up to people, quite random and zany. :D
 

targobelle

~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,584
MBTI Type
enfp
you have to realize that the enfp is the shyest of all E types therefore seeming to appear introverted but I think it's more of a slow to warm up sort of thing.
 

arcticangel02

To the top of the world
Joined
Oct 5, 2007
Messages
892
MBTI Type
eNFP
Yah, that sounds pretty accurate. :)

Just makes my own confusion with my type make a lot more sense.

Even though I know that INFPs and ENFPs are two very different creatures, (my brother is an INFP!) I still doubt my type from time to time. ^^

But I'm an ENFP. I am. :)
 

CestMoi

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
30
MBTI Type
ENFP
I totally agree on the slow warm up thing, targo. Could cause confusion for some but no doubt in my mind that I am what I am.
 

ferrisbueller

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Messages
53
MBTI Type
ENFP
I am definitely still an ENFP but it's strange since I don't socialize too much these days but when I do, it's like crazy, happy girl has arrived - as long as I like the company, mind you. Otherwise, I act like an introvert and especially in new situations because I must gauge the players and put them in their corresponding boxes, LOL. Once I've figured everyone out, I come out and let the light shine.
This is exactly how I am. I started college this year, and in every Myers Briggs discussion I've had with people since I got here they've said that I seemed very much like an I to them at first. It always takes me a little while in a new situation to let my E shine through.
 

alcea rosea

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2007
Messages
3,658
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Hi, all. I just wanted to stop in and say "hello". I'm a long-time ENFP - sounds funny saying that but this thread was quite an interesting read. I'm mature but not always mature, if you know what I mean so I'm still working on managing the less positive aspects of my personality.

Hi you! :)


you have to realize that the enfp is the shyest of all E types therefore seeming to appear introverted but I think it's more of a slow to warm up sort of thing.

It totally depends on situation for me. Sometimes I'm the most E of E's and sometimes I'm almost shy. I'm also slow to warm up. I mean I usually like most people I meet but I really don't let anybody to see me. I protect myself very much for some reason. So on one hand I'm the most open people on earth and on the other hand, I'm the most secretive of people.

...I'm a strange person. ;) + ENFP. :D
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
I've never (knowingly) met another ENFP in real life, but being and knowing me + research + encountering other ENFPs on this forum, has confidently led me to believe, that ENFPs = Human Fucking Awesomeness^10
 
Top