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[INFJ] INFJ cried during sex

pubcrawl

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I am currently dating an INFJ for the last 6 months. Pretty intense individual. We've been pretty intimate ever since the beginning of the relationship, but recently we've been somewhat distant. The other day while we're together she cried right in the middle of sex! Nothing due to the physical nature. When I asked her what was wrong, she looked down and more tears started flowing. Weird thing is, I see two sides to her. One on one, she comes across super sweet and highly emotional (she cries easily). When she hangs around others, I see more of a cold individual. Our communication basically revolves around texting constantly, so its hard to know what is exactly on her mind. An hour after this incident, I get a text message from her stating, "I do love u. And I know all sorts of crazy things r going thru your head. Honestly its nothing u did. Sorry for being a baby." Is this common among INFJs? Is she guilty about something?
 

heart

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It happened to me too, but it was just the sequins stabbing his chest...
 

entropie

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With an INFJ you always gotta be strong for two and never ask why she did a thing you didnt understand, wait for her to tell you and think yourself the most reasonable explanation to a thing.

My INFJ left me on the first date, while I went to the bathroom. I never called again. She then did.

I dont know the perfect way to deal with them, but I know they need a lot of space. And as a Thinking type you are predestined to give that to them. If it pays off or not, is your risk.
 

Nonsensical

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Awh, that's sad :(

Although it's probably not bad, it is still a little sad to hear. Don't worry, man, it's nothing you did or anything. I've dated an INFJ and gotten to know them pretty well. It's probably due to some internal conflict she's having, could be with friends, family, or something of a deeper level, like a personality or emotional dispute. As long as you are there for her, and she says she loves you, she will always come back to you, as you are her escape. I don't mean your her last resort or anything, but you're probably one of the few things she holds close to her, and the INF leads to deep love she probably shares with you.

If I was you, I'd sit down with her sometime, unplanned, and just mention it and try to understand her problem. Care about what she has to say, and she'll open up more and more until you find out.

Good luck! Hope she resolves her problem. :hi:
 

Thessaly

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Oh my....I have totally cried during sex. I was in love and the guy was moving away and we couldn't see each other again. I was heart broken and it was just a sweet sweet moment. Looking back now though I would never cry during sex again lol bad....just bad.
 

amelie

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I am currently dating an INFJ for the last 6 months. Pretty intense individual. We've been pretty intimate ever since the beginning of the relationship, but recently we've been somewhat distant. The other day while we're together she cried right in the middle of sex! Nothing due to the physical nature. When I asked her what was wrong, she looked down and more tears started flowing. Weird thing is, I see two sides to her. One on one, she comes across super sweet and highly emotional (she cries easily). When she hangs around others, I see more of a cold individual. Our communication basically revolves around texting constantly, so its hard to know what is exactly on her mind. An hour after this incident, I get a text message from her stating, "I do love u. And I know all sorts of crazy things r going thru your head. Honestly its nothing u did. Sorry for being a baby." Is this common among INFJs? Is she guilty about something?

No, no, not guilty. When that's happened to me, it was because I was experiencing overwhelming emotions. Sex for INFJ's is often highly emotionally charged and transcendent. It's a compliment; she's probably in love with you and maybe it terrifies her at the same time. This might be particularly true if you've been distant lately. Of course, the only way to know is to ask her, and if you want to get to the truth of what's going on, you have to let her know she's safe first and that you most definitely do not perceive her as being a baby. She's probably embarrassed.

I think INFJ's can come across as aloof with people they don't know well, which seems to be what you are describing. I think it partially depends on how introverted the particular person is; some of us can seem outgoing because when we do interact with people we don't know deeply, we try and put people at ease. The texting thing also makes sense to me. I like to communicate with people over E-mail because I can think about my response and edit it first - texting would do the same.

Bottom line, it sounds like to me she may feel vulnerable to you, and is trying to figure out whether to open up more and whether she's safe. I'm just guessing, though - that's kind of a lot to extrapolate from a paragraph on the internet.
 

Nillerz

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reminds me of the last INFP I dated. She didn't cry during sex but she would constantly be real mopey-like and distant. She seemed to think things were way more intense than they were.
 

BerberElla

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I cried once during a really intense orgasm. I really have no idea why it happened lol and when he asked me what was wrong I was really embarrassed because nothing was wrong, it was just the most awesome, most beautiful orgasm I have ever had. :blush:

It was mind blowing.

Wow, just thinking about it now makes me want to cry. :rofl1:
 

Chloe

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i cried when i was 17. because i didnt love him any more (never?) so i figured that during sex, ... because having sex with him became depressing.
but i was also a teenager so .... maybe its just because of that. i cried on Nirvana's songs back then, so I'm no good measure at all. :D

I guess this INFJ from OP cried about something not related to you, pubcrawl. don't worry about it too much.
 

Atomic Fiend

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An INFJ friend of mine said she cried during her first time, but that may be for an entirely different reason then OPs INFJ.
 

Totenkindly

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Geez. I've cried during sex, and not because it was bad. Sometimes life is complicated and there are lots of conflicting feelings, and sex is intimate so all those feelings suddenly are free to bump into each other at once. For me, it just meant that I was "feeling deeply."

I cried once during a really intense orgasm. I really have no idea why it happened lol and when he asked me what was wrong I was really embarrassed because nothing was wrong, it was just the most awesome, most beautiful orgasm I have ever had. :blush:

Yeah, exactly. Something can feel good enough to make you weep.
 

Popsicle

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I occasionally will cry...not weep or sob or anything, but just have tears. Sometimes, during, usually immediately after. It just means I'm happy. It's very, very good sign.
 

Nat

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Weird thing is, I see two sides to her. One on one, she comes across super sweet and highly emotional (she cries easily). When she hangs around others, I see more of a cold individual.

I come across as a bit aloof with people at times - usually because I'm uncomfortable or start feeling unsure of myself. Unfortunately this can be interpreted to mean that I'm uninterested in people/things, when it is the furthest thing from the truth.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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It happened to me once. It is usually about something more far reaching than the one particular moment. I don't think it is by nature a bad sign, but if anything a sign of intimacy, of breaking through a barrier. Both sex and crying are physical releases and so they can coincide at times that a person might not even understand. Intense emotion tends to cross wires. Grieving people laugh, blissful people cry, etc.
 

A Schnitzel

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If she cries, just hold her and don't let go until she pushes away.
 

Wyst

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If I was you, I'd sit down with her sometime, unplanned, and just mention it and try to understand her problem. Care about what she has to say, and she'll open up more and more until you find out.

That's a horrible idea. INFJs don't like to be cornered, especially by surprises, ESPECIALLY when they revolve around things they aren't ready/don't want to talk about.

If she cries, just hold her and don't let go until she pushes away.

This is also not that great of an idea.

No, no, not guilty. When that's happened to me, it was because I was experiencing overwhelming emotions. Sex for INFJ's is often highly emotionally charged and transcendent. It's a compliment; she's probably in love with you and maybe it terrifies her at the same time.

Bingo.

I'm telling you. INFJs are moody moody moody. Hold them too close and they'll push away - don't hold them close enough close enough and they'll start blaming themselves.

With INFJs you have to roll with the punches. I don't understand why the hell people try to "read" INFJs and figure out what's going on. Half the time we don't understand what's going on in our own heads. That anyone could think they've got an INFJ figured out is ludicrous, unless they've been together for years.

The best way to strain a relationship with an INFJ is to force the issue. If you want to keep the relationship healthy, don't.
 

Totenkindly

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...With INFJs you have to roll with the punches. I don't understand why the hell people try to "read" INFJs and figure out what's going on. Half the time we don't understand what's going on in our own heads. That anyone could think they've got an INFJ figured out is ludicrous, unless they've been together for years.

Awesome comment.
 

Laurie

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I thought the thread title read "INTJ" AHAHA
 
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