[ENFJ] ENFJ - amazing or exhausting?

[Ism]

I think I know of only one ENFJ, but we're not close. We're in a lot of the same clubs, and she's cool, but she's SO ENERGETIC AISDNFIWEGDS I wouldn't want to keep up.

Edit: Apparently she tests as an INTJ, so maybe my contribution isn't so great, lolz.

 

[Domino]

They tend to be interesting but high levels of idealism makes me want to punch some of the other ENFJs. I tend to clash with e1 or e2 EXFJs...

Agreed. I think the E-type is really important. There are certain types that I automatically have difficulty synching up with. I'm not the most extroverted of my kind. I hang back and circulate around conversations rather than take control of them. It's too draining, and I'm not always the most adept at putting people at their ease. I tend to have the opposite effect, creating agitation, while my ENFP 7w6 twin has a lot of calming energy. I rely on her frequently in social situations.

 

[9thNightingale]

For the most part I think amazing. I swear he can press his forehead to mine and read my thoughts. Which is a great thing because I can't verbalize well at times.

I completely agree, the ENFJ in my life reads my mind almost instantly. I simply think and am happy with my thought without the need to verbalize it, whereas he will say what he's thinking and it always matches my thoughts!! I love it. Easy communication!

 

[jcloudz]

magical

 

[EJCC]

Regardless of Enneatype, I find ENFJs to be tiring (and/or intimidating) at first, but fantastic friends once you get past the initial Fe wall.

Love you guys.

 

[roastingmallows]

Hmm, ENFJ is one of the only types I have the slightest negative feelings towards, to be honest. They are basically slight though. I actually find ENFJs to be quite exhausting. Something about Fe and Ni just comes off as very irrational to me. I have defended ESFJs in the past because at least their Fe is tempered by Si, but being someone who has little tolerance for Ni, Fe Ni is like the worst combination. First you've got Fe, which is overly concerned with other peoples' opinions, then you have Ni which is potentially paranoid and irrational. So the ENFJs I know read too much into social interaction, and draw horrifying conclusions based off of basically nothing. Also, they tend to blame other people for their problems. My boss is an ENFJ and it is a rollercoaster working with her. She is less organized than me and that is saying something. She nags a lot, and she goes back and forth between very generous and accomodating (though she wants you to know she is doing you a favor), and stingy and spiteful (and wants you to know you brought it upon yourself).

My friend's mom is also an ENFJ and don't get me started. Very nice to your face and then does horrible things behind your back.

Anyway, I hate to say so many negative things about a type, but this is just one I've had problems with. I think it is just personal chemistry issues with that type though since most other responses here were fairly positive. I doubt ENFJs would have much nice to say about me either. XD I will say though, both of these ENFJs are very socially adept and charming when they want to be.

 

[1487610420]

Simple... amazingly exhausting.

This.

 

[Nicki]

ENFJs tend to hate me and find me super offensive. The ENFJs I've known tend to see themselves as this overly-helpful victim in life even when they're doing not-so-nice things. But ENFJs at their best make you feel belonged and cared for, I think. ENFJs I've talked to online seem like lovely people.

 

[sprinkles]

Amazhaustazing.

 

[Elfboy]

exhausting, but often surprisingly good conversationalist. We tend to come to the same conclusions by different means and for different reasons (which makes sense given our functions are mirrors of each other)

 

[sorenx7]

exhausting, but often surprisingly good conversationalist. We tend to come to the same conclusions by different means and for different reasons (which makes sense given our functions are mirrors of each other)

Definitely the best conversationalists for me personally, and probably the best type that I get along with, period. I wouldn't want to imagine a world without ENFJs. However, yes, definitely exhausting, too, as I indicated in a previous post.

 

[Elfboy]

Definitely the best conversationalists for me personally, and probably the best type that I get along with, period. I wouldn't want to imagine a world without ENFJs. However, yes, definitely exhausting, too, as I indicated in a previous post.

one thing I like about them that bothers me about the NTJs I more typically talk to is, they're a lot more forgiving when you don't get something. NTJs automatically assume you're a foolish retard when you don't understand something and have difficulty with the concept of cooperative communication. NFJs on the other hand are much more understanding when you don't immediately get something (learning is a demanding activity), for this reason, they often make good teachers

 

[Elfboy]

ENFJs tend to hate me and find me super offensive. The ENFJs I've known tend to see themselves as this overly-helpful victim in life even when they're doing not-so-nice things. But ENFJs at their best make you feel belonged and cared for, I think. ENFJs I've talked to online seem like lovely people.

this tendency makes me want to penetrate their esophagus with a rusty hunting knife

 

[sorenx7]

one thing I like about them that bothers me about the NTJs I more typically talk to is, they're a lot more forgiving when you don't get something. NTJs automatically assume you're a foolish retard when you don't understand something and have difficulty with the concept of cooperative communication. NFJs on the other hand are much more understanding when you don't immediately get something (learning is a demanding activity), for this reason, they often make good teachers

Well, ENFJs, yes, but INFJs, no. INFJs don't have the slightest idea of who I even am as a person. There's a complete barrier there. They take that to mean I don't like them, and that isn't true. We just seem to be totally incompatible, though. However, for someone who isn't an INFP, I suspect much of what I'm saying here may not be applicable.

 

[Nicki]

this tendency makes me want to penetrate their esophagus with a rusty hunting knife

I feel you, I really do.

 

[Anew Leaf]

ENFJs are hit or miss for me. I had an ENFJ friend in college who lived next door to me in the dorms. She would listen for when I came home and would then immediately come over and demand hugs and want to sit snuggled with me. If I got up to to go the bathroom, ANOTHER HUG AMGS, when I got back... ANOTHER HUGS AMGS. I was smothered. She fell for my ESFJ bestfriend and even as huggy as he was, he was creeped out by her.

However, right now I have an ENFJ friend and I adore her. She has pursued me until I caved into allowing her to be physically affectionate with me; an honor few are given.

I also have the biggest girl crush of my life on [MENTION=1456]Domino[/MENTION]. She could do with me as she wills it... JELLO WRESTLING AND ALL.

 

[Kierva]

one thing I like about them that bothers me about the NTJs I more typically talk to is, they're a lot more forgiving when you don't get something. NTJs automatically assume you're a foolish retard when you don't understand something and have difficulty with the concept of cooperative communication. NFJs on the other hand are much more understanding when you don't immediately get something (learning is a demanding activity), for this reason, they often make good teachers

lmao, I'm kind of like an NTJ if the person I'm dealing with is someone I don't like.

 

[roastingmallows]

one thing I like about them that bothers me about the NTJs I more typically talk to is, they're a lot more forgiving when you don't get something. NTJs automatically assume you're a foolish retard when you don't understand something and have difficulty with the concept of cooperative communication. NFJs on the other hand are much more understanding when you don't immediately get something (learning is a demanding activity), for this reason, they often make good teachers

Yeahh, I definitely feel you. The XNFJs in my life are always pretty patient when explaining something and always willing to go back and explain, and they aren't condescending even if know more than you about a subject. I don't know a lot of NTJs IRL though, so I wouldn't have anything to compare it to. I think the Fe makes them WANT to help you understand (because they just like to feel useful), not just show off their own knowledge like Te.

 

[roastingmallows]

The ENFJs I've known tend to see themselves as this overly-helpful victim in life even when they're doing not-so-nice things.

How astute! Describes my boss perfectly. "It's not fair." she always insists while she runs around trying to "fix" problems that either never existed or were her own fault, claiming it's my fault, or anyone but hers.

 

[King sns]

I enjoy them quite a bit as long as they are self aware.