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[ENFP] ENFP and anxiety

LadyJaye

Scream down the boulevard
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Typically I'm a sensitive person, not necessarily an anxious one. But, occasionally I have these moments where, after a significant amount of stress, and days of feeling slightly unsettled, I just wake up and I'm in a full-on panic. Not that I'm running from room to room screaming, but like I'm just internally freaking out. I know how to speak to myself, to tell myself something rational to comfort myself, but this is one of those rare times where reality and calm talk aren't working. I end up being anxious for days, stomach ache, headache, shaking sometimes. I started to notice a problem when everything on the news wasn't just bothering me, it was BOTHERING me. Do any of the other NFP's have a problem with this? And if so, what do you do to help yourselves? Typically, I like to go outside and take in fresh air, that usually helps.
 

Synarch

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Typically I'm a sensitive person, not necessarily an anxious one. But, occasionally I have these moments where, after a significant amount of stress, and days of feeling slightly unsettled, I just wake up and I'm in a full-on panic. Not that I'm running from room to room screaming, but like I'm just internally freaking out. I know how to speak to myself, to tell myself something rational to comfort myself, but this is one of those rare times where reality and calm talk aren't working. I end up being anxious for days, stomach ache, headache, shaking sometimes. I started to notice a problem when everything on the news wasn't just bothering me, it was BOTHERING me. Do any of the other NFP's have a problem with this? And if so, what do you do to help yourselves? Typically, I like to go outside and take in fresh air, that usually helps.

Focus on something outside yourself.
 

Lady_X

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yeah i do...not often but yeah. i try to go outside and get into some sort of zen state amongst nature...turn off my way overactive brain and when that doesn't help i have to take a low dose valium....which has been all of two times since it was prescribed...so not often but it's the worst because i feel like i'm going to have a heart attack. : /
 

Synarch

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Also, I think letting the anxious feelings REALLY sit with you can help.
 

LadyJaye

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yeah i do...not often but yeah. i try to go outside and get into some sort of zen state amongst nature...turn off my way overactive brain and when that doesn't help i have to take a low dose valium....which has been all of two times since it was prescribed...so not often but it's the worst because i feel like i'm going to have a heart attack. : /

Yes. That's exactly how I feel. If I'm exceptionally stressed out, I'll sometimes put my hands in the dirt, as a way to connect myself to something external. I think it's when I feel like my environment is hostile to me, as in I am incapable of functioning in it without a lot of suffering, that's when I lose my usual ability to tell myself that I can overcome it. What gets you to that point?

It's like my mind goes into overload. I'm usually pretty successful in getting my thoughts reorganized, but if I've had too much pushing down on me and I can't resolve any of the stress or conflicts, I start to fray a bit.
 

Lady_X

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exactly...like too many things at once to sort out and too many possible outcomes and the feeling of discomfort about making decisions or the feeling of not being able to do what you need to do...the feeling of being restrained or not in complete control to even do what you so very strongly feel like you need to do...and i'm stopping now before i start to panic...thanks lady! : /

edit...hey we're both lady now! maybe i should call you jaye...anyway...you okay jaye? are you stressing now? go have a bath and some new agey music haha or something :hug:
 

Amargith

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Being overloaded and overextended will get you there, and once there you'll guilttrip over the fact that you can't fix it, which keeps the loop going and keeps Fi just blocked and lets Ne run buckwild overloading you even more. I find that doing something that forces you to use Si or Te will make you recover. Going back to nature to me is going to a place that I know and makes me feel at home. If you cannot do that, try playing Solitaire, or minesweeper or for that matter tetris. It forces you to think and organize, and takes your mind away from panicking, giving you time to process. Ranting at a boyfriend/sounding board helps too :coffee:
 

LadyJaye

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exactly...like too many things at once to sort out and too many possible outcomes and the feeling of discomfort about making decisions or the feeling of not being able to do what you need to do...the feeling of being restrained or not in complete control to even do what you so very strongly feel like you need to do...and i'm stopping now before i start to panic...thanks lady! : /

lol.... OOOOPSY! :D

edit...hey we're both lady now! maybe i should call you jaye...anyway...you okay jaye? are you stressing now? go have a bath and some new agey music haha or something :hug:

I have been for weeks, but on a much lower level. I was trying to offset a major anxiety moment by getting exercise, or being outside, or listening to tunes that would normally get my stress out. But I have too many unresolved conflicts going on - and I get to a point where I either have to divorce myself from my feelings, which I can do, but then I don't feel like myself at all - or I throw myself at fixing the problem, and end up in a loop because there's no way to resolve it. That's what I'm doing now I think. I got SO SICK the other night and all day yesterday, and unfortunately getting sick makes me feel even more trapped.


Being overloaded and overextended will get you there, and once there you'll guilttrip over the fact that you can't fix it, which keeps the loop going and keeps Fi just blocked and lets Ne run buckwild overloading you even more. I find that doing something that forces you to use Si or Te will make you recover. Going back to nature to me is going to a place that I know and makes me feel at home. If you cannot do that, try playing Solitaire, or minesweeper or for that matter tetris. It forces you to think and organize, and takes your mind away from panicking, giving you time to process. Ranting at a boyfriend/sounding board helps too :coffee:

So true. Ne going around and around. I find myself saying , " STOP NOW." when my thoughts loop. It breaks it, but temporarily. Thanks for the suggestions, Gith. :X
 

Lady_X

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that's totally what it is yeah...that ne paranoia loop...and the fi being very passionate about doing the exact right thing...or something.

i'm sorry you've been feeling unwell. :hug:
chamomile tea might help a bit...or go to the health store and get some homeopathic calm pills...it's just herbs and they help.
 

AOA

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Daily activities... such as garden work, scrubbing the house, watching soap operas, petting the pets, or moderate regular exercises, help. :)
 

Lady_X

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scrubbing the house!!! scrubbing the house you say!!! who are you!? who sent you!? go away!
 

Moiety

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If I had to talk in function terms I'd say catering to Se can be the most soothing. Vices, hobbies, whatever. Something that makes you stop worrying about the past or the future. If your body is busy with some form of pleasure your mind will turn off.

As far as actually facing the issue causing the anxiety...it's not always an option nor necessarily the best course of action. I'm a big believe in the "time heals all wounds" saying. After enough time shutting off the bad thoughts you'll consciously feel better. Subconscious is a powerful thing. You feed it good stuff and you'll feel better. You feed it bad stuff and you'll feel worse. Even worrying can get tiresome and difficult for the brain, after a while. Thankfully so. Otherwise people wouldn't overcome their problems.


I hope that didn't sound too BSy and made some sense :p


ETA: This is not to say people shouldn't face their problems. Just wanted to sound as "broader" as I could.

that's totally what it is yeah...that ne paranoia loop...and the fi being very passionate about doing the exact right thing...or something.

i'm sorry you've been feeling unwell. :hug:
chamomile tea might help a bit...or go to the health store and get some homeopathic calm pills...it's just herbs and they help.

What Lady X is trying to say is...you wanna get yourself a big fat joint! :smoke:
 

AOA

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Eheh.

... No, honestly - I remember when I got stressed during exam term. The feeling of near panick, for instance, and scrubbing the bathroom, or the kitchen for a while-or-so really DID help my mind come back together.
 

LadyJaye

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that's totally what it is yeah...that ne paranoia loop...and the fi being very passionate about doing the exact right thing...or something.

i'm sorry you've been feeling unwell. :hug:
chamomile tea might help a bit...or go to the health store and get some homeopathic calm pills...it's just herbs and they help.

How ironic - my shuffle player cued up " Overkill" by Men at Work. lol

The Fi portion of it really torments me. I feel like I have to be SURE I'm making the best decision, no matter how many times I've gone over it. I feel so responsible for the things I do.

:hug:

Thanks toots. I've been taking something for my stomach, and it happens to also be a strong sedative, so I've been on that for a few days.



Daily activities... such as garden work, scrubbing the house, watching soap operas, petting the pets, or moderate regular exercises, help. :)

I do enjoy exercise. I try to get up and move as much as I can.


If I had to talk in function terms I'd say catering to Se can be the most soothing. Vices, hobbies, whatever. Something that makes you stop worrying about the past or the future. If your body is busy with some form of pleasure your mind will turn off.

As far as actually facing the issue causing the anxiety...it's not always an option nor necessarily the best course of action. I'm a big believe in the "time heals all wounds" saying. After enough time shutting off the bad thoughts you'll consciously feel better. Subconscious is a powerful thing. You feed it good stuff and you'll feel better. You feed it bad stuff and you'll feel worse. Even worrying can get tiresome and difficult for the brain, after a while. Thankfully so. Otherwise people wouldn't overcome their problems.


I hope that didn't sound too BSy and made some sense :p

What Lady X is trying to say is...you wanna get yourself a big fat joint! :smoke:

Good advice, Thanks, Sy. :)

lol.... a close ENTP friend of mine tells me I need to have him lock me in the car with him while he tokes up. He's a pretty relaxed guy. lol


Eheh.

... No, honestly - I remember when I got stressed during exam term. The feeling of near panick, for instance, and scrubbing the bathroom, or the kitchen for a while-or-so really DID help my mind come back together.

You know, I used to do that. :D I would get so upset about something, I would scrub anything I could get my hands on. That bathtub was never cleaner!
 

CzeCze

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Lady Jaye! I know exactly how that feels - at least for this particular ENFP.

I used to have trouble with true chronic anxiety including social anxiety and OCD tendencies in my teens to early 20s, I think it was all the hormones of youth + ENFP super Fi overload which didn't equip me well for my life at the time. It didn't help that I would hold things in and try to handle everything myself (this was a learned coping mechanism/handicap as I didn't feel I had external supports) - it merely masked the anxiety (sometimes) and prolonged the anxiety phase of my life. So I'm glad you at least feel comfortable reaching out and sharing how you feel. :)

In my case, there was also shame associated with the anxiety which fed into more anxiety which is already fundamentally fear, because it was related to feeling like my environment was hostile (yes, I understand that feeling!) and that I did not deserve to be treated well and was unable to to really do anything about it and live my life the way that I wanted to.

Generally these days, older and wiser, I'm not as anxious as a person, but I am! In fact I'm an enneagram wing 6 meaning I'm 'vigilant' and on the look out constantly for danger etc.

While I'm generally even-keeled, certain things can really set off my anxiety, like the combination of my parents' visit and my neighbor who started pounding on my wall while they were here.

Everything becomes a full-blown worst case scenario, in each ending I always end up making the situation worse and escalating it into major FAIL. It gets really crazy and a small part of me knows I'm being ridiculous but the fear and anxiety control me and I focus on the worst case scenario. I get stuck in the loop Amargith mentioned. And the situation itself (if specific that is setting me off) is waaaaaaay overblown in significance or direness.

The only things I've found that have helped me is to directly take control of my situation and confront the person/situation that is causing me anxiety, to talk to reasonable people whom I trust who can talk me off the ledge and put things in perspective, and to just hang out with confident self-sufficient people who I know can handle their own problems whose company I enjoy and their presence and "acting normal" for a while can calm me.

Leaving the house, doing a distracting acivity, getting a change of scene, for me this only if anything temporarily lessens the anxiety a bit but doesn't cure it. When I'm anxious, I get very distracted and am preoccupied by anxiety, so in some ways, I just go through my day in a dream and go through the motions of not being anxious. It's not helpful. I've also tried working out - when coupled with the loss of appetite that can happen with great anxiety - it's an awesome way to crash diet (this is sarcasm) but doesn't help with the anxiety, it just literally tires me out until I don't have the energy to be as anxious.

I think going someplace calm and expansive, like a state park could help put things into perspective. But again, for me, it's usually being around other people and asking them for their POV that helps me the most.

Being around uplifting/calming people who are NOT anxious themselves and doing something that they enjoy (and that I normally would enjoy if not anxious) is the most helpful activity other than directly confronting the source of anxiety for me.
 

Halla74

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Focus on something outside yourself.

I agree totally. Although rare, when I get anxious to the point of being uncomfortable, I can resolve it best when I act upon that which is causing me anxiety. ACTIONS resolve my negative thoughts, CORRECTIVE ACTIONS that is. Maybe that's an ESTP thing, I don't know. :newwink:
 

LadyJaye

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Lady Jaye! I know exactly how that feels - at least for this particular ENFP.

I used to have trouble with true chronic anxiety including social anxiety and OCD tendencies in my teens to early 20s, I think it was all the hormones of youth + ENFP super Fi overload which didn't equip me well for my life at the time. It didn't help that I would hold things in and try to handle everything myself (this was a learned coping mechanism/handicap as I didn't feel I had external supports) - it merely masked the anxiety (sometimes) and prolonged the anxiety phase of my life. So I'm glad you at least feel comfortable reaching out and sharing how you feel. :)

That's exactly how I feel. I'm always having to be the "go to girl", to step up and handle things, and that makes me feel even more pressure to do "the right thing", like a failure is not an option. I fear the fall out of a "bad" decision. I don't put off making them, but it's an agonizing process.

You mentioned being vigilant - I am extremely so, as well. I know it's probably true of most ENFP's, but I feel like I'm constantly trying to avert a disaster. All the while knowing that I'm human and can't possibly control everything.


Being around uplifting/calming people who are NOT anxious themselves and doing something that they enjoy (and that I normally would enjoy if not anxious) is the most helpful activity other than directly confronting the source of anxiety for me.

Normally that works for me too. I don't know why I feel so particularly ill-equipped this time around.

I agree totally. Although rare, when I get anxious to the point of being uncomfortable, I can resolve it best when I act upon that which is causing me anxiety. ACTIONS resolve my negative thoughts, CORRECTIVE ACTIONS that is. Maybe that's an ESTP thing, I don't know. :newwink:

I'm all about hitting things head on, too. :D That's been part of the problem. Trying to fix things that can't be resolved right now - so I end up ruminating on them, as if worrying were something that could cure a problem.
 
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