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[ENFP] The dark side of ENFPs

entropie

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I think you can really see sides on different levels.

For example the most basic level, which applies to all humans equally is that general sense of human morality that is defined through, whether you respect other human life or only your own.

Then you have a subjective level of a Dark Side. The ENFPs may think that they are generally Good persons, because they try to be nice to everyone else. To other persons that behaviour can come off tho, as if they are playing a game, so it can raise suspcion. So on this level there is a subjective perception going on. Furthermore a general niceness towards people can be shown, but the person can be on the Dark Side of the human morale basic level; namely he doesnt respect human life and only uses his kidness as means to reach his goals.

So there are various combinations of Dark and various levels of hell, I am generally thinking so, you think of yourself that you feel to naive and to nice towards people and that they use that in you.
 
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Dali

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One thing I've heard is that ENFP's often censor their views to not be contrarian or cause conflict.

Argh, my cousin can be really annoying in that respect. He'd say X, I'd say notX and he'd cleverly backtrack and relate X to notX in a way that is clearly aimed at avoiding conflict. He's quite confident and outspoken but that particular tendency pisses me off especially because he's rather intelligent and I do want to listen to his insights and understand where he's coming from.
 

Amargith

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^we see associations everywhere and will not just try to harmonize but actually synthesize points of views between ourselves and our conversational partners, as that is in fact how we enrich our own world views. It's just a different way of working; also, often I find myself being misunderstood by those who interpret my words from a different point of view, which then turns out not to be what I meant. Maybe it's coz we tend to be rather chaotic and nonchalant that we leave too many loopholes, or just the difference in thinking (Fe/Fi), I dunno.

I guess what I'm saying is, try to give him the benefit of the doubt :)

This does not mean however that I deny the fact that some ENFPs do indeed keep quiet or do not stand up for what they believe in sometimes in order to keep the peace. Also, since we can easily see anothers point of view, it is possible to completely change your view after their explanation, and do the same when someone else counters that view. Lack of critical thinking can definitely occur this way, though it will rarely happen when it comes to the ENFPs core values, ime.

As for the dark side of ENFPs: I tend to overindulge on things that are pleasurable...

aka intense emotions, good food on occasion, things like that. Addictive personality they call that, I guess :blush:
 
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Dali

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^I do get what you're saying and I do love it when my other ENFP friend does that (it's always preceded by a pensive look downwards for a second or two before she continues conversing in that Ne-mode. Its cute. lol) but my gripe is when its clearly aimed at deflecting any possible conflict (I'm ISFP. We're super-perceptive;)).
 

Laurie

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I think the dark side of an enfp is the oppposite of the bouncy, giggly enfp stereotype. There is a heck of a lot more going on and people just don't always catch it.
 
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Dali

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^Another reason my ENFP (well, almost my ENFP... before travel interfered) said I could read her like a book. Most people around her thought she was this fickle, weird, affectionate, bubbly girl and they thought that that was all she was. I saw through to her depth, intelligence, intense and fragile inner world, and that simultaneously excited and scared her.

And, yeah, inner world could get pretty dark if she had plenty of time alone to stew on her thoughts. Is this common with other ENFPs?
 

Laurie

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Yes, that is exactly what I mean.
 

Amargith

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Thank god for those that do take a moment to look beyond that first impression :hug:
 

Little Linguist

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I think the dark side of an enfp is the oppposite of the bouncy, giggly enfp stereotype. There is a heck of a lot more going on and people just don't always catch it.

Hellz yeah. When I tell people I test INFJ/INTJ sometimes, people look at me like, DUDE??? WHAT???

Yes, I have a *VERY QUIET, SERIOUS, DEEP* side. The stereotype is what I show others when I don't know them at well or are not at work or just feeling silly and need to chill.

I'm quite capable of holding my end of a conversation, debating, public speaking, or whatever....I just have to care enough and be in the right mood.

In fact, outside of work, I spend most of my time alone....
 

Laurie

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I realized recently that my hobbies are all individual hobbies! Reading, sewing and running (in high school/college) I've recently adopted the computer as a hobby and use it socially, but before that those other three were my hard and fast hobbies. And I'm very extroverted.
 

Queen Kat

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I have a dark side too: I can't forgive. Why? Because I simply can't. When you get me mad once, you will have me mad for the rest of your life. For real. I can't remember anyone I have ever forgiven.
 

Lady_X

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whoa really? sounds more infp from the way i understand it.
 

Edgar

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hmm...i think i can have a bit of ne inspired dark sense of humor at times...thinking certain absurdly not right things are funny. not sure if that qualifies...but it's all i got. otherwise we're perfectly light and lovely...imo.
t7xhappy.gif

So the worst thing an ENFP can do is develop INTJ's sense of humor?
 

Lady_X

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nah.. that's just our twisted sense of humor...you may have one as well but i assure you ours is our own. :newwink:
 

Amargith

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Nah, there's always Fi gone supernova. Fun too :D
 

Queen Kat

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What coffeeshops? You mean those places where all those German and American tourists hang out and get all stoned and all? I'm not 18 yet, so I'm not allowed in and I'm not in the mood to get myself a fake ID.
 

Moiety

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What coffeeshops? You mean those places where all those tourists hang out and get all stoned and all? I'm not 18 yet, so I'm not allowed in and I'm not in the mood to get myself a fake ID.

:D That was a metaphor for "chillin". I was basically saying you should learn how to forgive. It's healthy.
 
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