[INFJ] INFJ under stress

[Fairy...]

Just wondering how other INFJs out there act when under stress. I have been very stressed lately. I really don't handle stress well. What happens, is that I completely lose focus of the big picture. I've just started a new job and instead of looking at things wholistically I get carried away with all the little details. It is effecting my performance greatly. I am also very very harsh on myself. Does this happen to other INFJs out there?

 

[Wyst]

Just wondering how other INFJs out there act when under stress. I have been very stressed lately. I really don't handle stress well. What happens, is that I completely lose focus of the big picture. I've just started a new job and instead of looking at things wholistically I get carried away with all the little details. It is effecting my performance greatly. I am also very very harsh on myself. Does this happen to other INFJs out there?

Yeah - when things get crazy at the office, I start getting tunnel vision and things that used to be simple tasks seem to feel like I can't handle them on top of everything else I have to do.

It usually helps me to take 5 minutes - take a walk somewhere and clear my head, then come back to it after I've reminded myself to take one thing at a time.

 

[Winds of Thor]

I can get harsh on myself as well. I really try to control my emotions when stressed. I am pretty intensely stressed right now because of something at work. A psychologically distressed person has fixated on me with sexual overtones, and I am really rattled by it. He finds out on Monday that our regular meeting time has ended and he has been transferred to working with a man. It's the kind of scenario where I'll be watching my rear-view mirror and keeping my tazer and pepper spray ready for the next several weeks. I try to focus on being strong, but I also get waves of feeling really scared and alone. I get obsessed with contingency plans. I guess I also try to imagine I'm wonder woman. She was my first role model. And I do escapism things like getting online.

(please don't quote this post - i may delete it)

Gosh...would it be advisable to inform your management? What sorts of things or overtones? Sorry to bring it up..I just empathically care...a sort of proxy..

There was a woman at work who wouldn't leave me alone. I know it's weird. And it's not friendly. Especially with that tone.

Guys assume guys all like that. ENTPs are interested in the other on their terms...so it's not necessarily true with us.

It got really quite awkward for awhile. She finally stopped.

 

[Wyst]

Gosh...would it be advisable to inform your management? What sorts of things or overtones? Sorry to bring it up..I just empathically care...a sort of proxy..

yeah. you should have that dude dropped down a notch. pronto.

 

[scortia]

I don't get stressed too much... aside from just getting totally overworked. Typically I'll just charge through it all like a work horse and eventually it overflows and I start yelling at people. Most of the time my way of dealing is just collapsing though. I just got through a rough year of teaching and most afternoons I just went home and slept. Haven't taken care of myself, not exercising, not pursuing my writing or anything else... just in a bad vegetative state every time I had the luxury of getting a break. Sort of like the unwinding process most Introverted Intuitives go through after a long day of dealing with lots of people.

 

[Fairy...]

yes, i find i get stressed mostly when i have to deal with people constantly, which is a big part of my new job. if i have a pile of assignments to get through, i'll get stressed, but no where near as much as i do when i have to deal with people all the time. maybe i should just take my career in the direction of research or something where i dont have to be dealing with people all the time. although, i do hope i'm only stressed because its a new job and i've got a whole heap of things to learn. hopefully things will settle and dealing with others wont be so stressful

 

[scortia]

It could just be because it's a new job. I know for me, I don't mind dealing with people if it's towards some "good" or if there's harmony involved. Otherwise, every other situation, it's exhausting.

Good luck, hopefully things improve.

 

[Fairy...]

thank you . i think things will improve.

 

[Phantonym]

I completely lose focus of the big picture /.../ I get carried away with all the little details. It is effecting my performance greatly. I am also very very harsh on myself.

I start getting tunnel vision and things that used to be simple tasks seem to feel like I can't handle them on top of everything else I have to do.

eventually it overflows and I start yelling at people. Most of the time my way of dealing is just collapsing though /.../ Haven't taken care of myself, not exercising, not pursuing my writing or anything else... just in a bad vegetative state every time I had the luxury of getting a break.

All that + frustration + terrible mood swings + shutting myself off from friends and family + feeling the need to cry all the time (which I do rarely when not stressed) + eating all the time + sleeping all the time + constantly thinking whether I'm stressed or depressed + everything seems black and white + beating myself up all the time for not doing anything about the situation that is causing me stress + posting semi-intelligent and self-deprecating nonsense in internet forums.

Basically just being in a complete standstill or slow-motion, like watching yourself outside of your body and being unable to do anything about the situation.

When not stressed, I'm all smiles and sunshine. This is why it's all so frustrating, like going to a deep freeze and back in a matter of seconds.

 

[Trefle]

All that + frustration + terrible mood swings + shutting myself off from friends and family + feeling the need to cry all the time (which I do rarely when not stressed) + eating all the time + sleeping all the time + constantly thinking whether I'm stressed or depressed + everything seems black and white + beating myself up all the time for not doing anything about the situation that is causing me stress + posting semi-intelligent and self-deprecating nonsense in internet forums.

Basically just being in a complete standstill or slow-motion, like watching yourself outside of your body and being unable to do anything about the situation.

When not stressed, I'm all smiles and sunshine. This is why it's all so frustrating, like going to a deep freeze and back in a matter of seconds.

Are you my long, lost twin or something?

In my case, though, the inner workings is...more like trying to read out --all-- aspects of everything including the unreadable (like other people's personality, or to the point of divine intervention) and ended up like, brain overload then temporary BSOD.

And then there's the ordinary whining/confessing to trusted ones up to the point of annoyance...

There's also becoming awfully cynical with life as a whole, before getting awfully idealistic and all optimism when get fired up temporarily and then when it goes down, another BSOD.

It seems we have similar ways to cope under stress. >_>; I wonder about the quality or the "goodness" of this, though.

 

[Phantonym]

It seems we have similar ways to cope under stress. >_>; I wonder about the quality or the "goodness" of this, though.

It's not good at all and I realize that.

Personally, I can see all the signs and I know what I should do to avoid getting stressed BUT..when the stress hits, it's just like falling into a deep hole and you cannot do anything about it. It is as though you're incapacitated for a period of time. And all through the process I know what I should be doing to get out of it. I just don't listen to myself.

It's strange because when you climb out of the "hole" it is as if nothing had happened. I can swear to myself that I've learned something really valuable from this and it is never going to happen again but from time to time the process starts again from the absolute beginning.

Must. Take. Action.

 

[Trefle]

It's not good at all and I realize that.

Personally, I can see all the signs and I know what I should do to avoid getting stressed BUT..when the stress hits, it's just like falling into a deep hole and you cannot do anything about it. It is as though you're incapacitated for a period of time. And all through the process I know what I should be doing to get out of it. I just don't listen to myself.

It's strange because when you climb out of the "hole" it is as if nothing had happened. I can swear to myself that I've learned something really valuable from this and it is never going to happen again but from time to time the process starts again from the absolute beginning.

Must. Take. Action.

Um, this is happening to me too, and for me it's like learning personally to make a more beautiful disaster out of myself because all those "experience" did arise, but some part of it can serve as another thing to drag inside that proverbial hole.

I always think this is personal but..apparently not? and we do appear to have the same type; I wonder, how about other types?

I personally have a hypothesis that it's the Introverted side that's on fault here, though, by keeping all the thoughts inside. Perhaps if this was the case, trying to be Extroverted (by asking about people) would help but the Judging part also worked to 'judge' our own feelings so that we already trusted it as absolute truth.

 

[Phantonym]

I personally have a hypothesis that it's the Introverted side that's on fault here, though, by keeping all the thoughts inside. Perhaps if this was the case, trying to be Extroverted (by asking about people) would help but the Judging part also worked to 'judge' our own feelings so that we already trusted it as absolute truth.

I agree. It's all about bottling in whatever is bothering you and trying to deal with it on your own. It's hard to talk about yourself and what you're going through with other people, especially with the ones you're close to, in fear of smothering them in things they don't understand.

And you're right about the judging part. I am my own judge, jury and executioner

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

i used to let my boundaries get overrun in the mothering realm, and when that happened, and the stress got to me, i would throw, scream, and break things, then feel immense guilt, of course.

over time i've not only learned how to maintain healthier boundaries for myself, but i've learned patience. kids and sp types are great teachers of patience..............

 

[Immaculate Cloud]

I've learned to cope better under stress now by (a) if possible, reducing the stressful situation
(b) submitting myself to the Laws of Nature, that is, getting enough sleep (c), watching my diet and reducing caffeine and other stimulants (d) learning to say no (e) editing that inner ticker-tape (f) and when all else fails, doorslamming!

And oh, lots of good music too.

 

[Phantonym]

And oh, lots of good music too.

Music is the antidote, indeed

 

[Sniffles]

It's strange because when you climb out of the "hole" it is as if nothing had happened. I can swear to myself that I've learned something really valuable from this and it is never going to happen again but from time to time the process starts again from the absolute beginning.

+1 In fact, this happened just last night when I sunk into a deep depressive state. But luckily, after a few hours I snapped out of it.

 

[Wyst]

Music is the antidote, indeed

 

[violaine]

I am a little stressed at the moment due to an upcoming job with a new client. I'm a freelancer so this is a regular occurrence. Typically before a new job I will obsessively research the style of the company's work and ridiculously drill, drill, drill to make sure I have all the bases covered. Ack.

Running or doing something physically demanding is the only guaranteed way I have of coping with stress. I need a circuit breaker. I need a way to drain the anxiety. Much as I am inclined to just stop dead if I'm stressed to think and analyze, if I lie around or stand still I just get more stressed out. Running to music I love is completely uplifting.

 

[Wyst]

Running or doing something physically demanding is the only guaranteed way I have of coping with stress. I need a circuit breaker. I need a way to drain the anxiety. Much as I am inclined to just stop dead if I'm stressed to think and analyze, if I lie around or stand still I just get more stressed out. Running to music I love is completely uplifting.

Yeah, I'm the same way. I've got to have some outlet for all the stress that eventually builds up. Exercise is perfect for dispersing it.