[MBTI General] Feelers: What Do You Really Think About Thinkers?

[phthalocyanine]

i envy their ability to focus on concepts and think through labyrinths of data (where we more emotional types would get frustrated and quit)...especially NTs. they can be downright brilliant in their insights.. i also find their humour pretty f*cking funny.

Sometimes I'm jealous of them, honestly. It really seems like they can just push through things that I can't.

But when I see the pitiful, broken, childish emotions that crawl out of their tortured minds once in a while, that jealousy quickly turns to pity.

lolz.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

Or is it just in my corner of the universe (read: narrow perspective) that F-doms disproportionately assign value to the T-dom way rather than vice-versa?

In my corner too. The "What do you truly think about feelers?" thread is particularly telling. The difference in the number of affirmative responses in this thread versus that one is worth noting.

 

[Thessaly]

I seem to be really good at attracting them luckily because I find their intelligence and rational cool to be extremely sexy. I do often find myself assigning feelings to them that aren't there though.

 

[Fidelia]

I can't say I understand their thought processes which makes me want to know them better. I've known both the ST and NT variety, in some cases quite well.

I think because they are more openly critical I always feel like it is more of an accomplishment me to get them to like me than for an F to get to like me. It's kind of a compliment.

That very thing drives me nuts because if I get close to someone, I need vocal appreciation sometimes and enough data to figure out their behaviour and how to respond.

I attribute feeling that often isn't there, which bugs them and also can't help but express emotion if I am close to them, which they find disconcerting.

I think in an F/T relationship the F is the one that has to do most of the adjusting.

I admire the logic, conciseness and straightforwardness of T thinking. I am way too rabbit trailey. They are great for helping sort out what is important from what isn't in a paper.

They sometimes nitpick for sport, which bugs me and which seems entirely unnecessary.

I'm drawn like a moth to the flame because what I am lacking is attractive in another person and I also haven't got them sufficiently figured out.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

I like reasonable people. I like rational people. There is some overlap with these qualities and people who label as T's.

In some cases I wish I could more often count on Rationals to be rational.

 

[TaylorS]

A thought crossed my mind today. I wonder if the designations of compartmentalized vs. integrated thinker would create a similar divide that we see using the terms thinker vs. feeler? Having discussed questions I have about the mutual exclusivity of the T and F poles in previous posts, I was wondering if we are essentially talking about the difference between thinking in a compartmentalized vs. an integrated manner. The compartmentalized thinker will isolate various types of data according to their function and similarity. This is the approach that will isolate logic and fact from the more uncertain and immeasurable questions of human experience and feeling. This would also explain the individual who can debate a particular topic using hard logic, but then lose control emotionally and scream and yell in another setting. The integrated thinker may tend towards less pristine logic, but may also tend to apply it a larger variety of contexts. This approach also accounts for emotion in all individuals which is observable and hard-wired in the brain. There are also neurologically compelling reasons observed in the way the two hemispheres are connected that can contribute to these categories (compartmentalized vs. integration) as being fundamentally legitimate to cognitive processing.

These designations are more neutral than T and F and more mutually exclusive by nature. The absence of one quality strongly suggests the presence of the other. It's just a thought, but does explain a lot of the application on first examination.

I had a very similar idea, though I used the terms "Distinctional" for Ts and "Relational" for Fs. When Ts make judgments they tend to distinguish between things, that is, how things differ. When Fs make judgments they tend to relate between things, emphasizing how things are alike.

This explains, for example, why metaphor and poetry tends to be an F thing, Metaphor relates seemingly unrelated things. I am reminded of an online argument in which I was defending the value of mythology. The other person could never seem to understand the value of metaphor and analogy and thought the notion of a metaphorical truth was an affront to Reason and Truth. I tried to explain how the very grammar of our language is dependent on metaphor (all "grammar words", for example, start out as metaphorical usages, the verbs "have" and "got" started out as verbs used to mean possession and later became grammar words, "I have ran" "I gotta run".) and the person still didn't get it.

 

[TaylorS]

Thinkers who are divorced from their own feeling will see it in such a negative light that to them, all that they are is their intellect, skill, talent and ability. This is their sole reason for being here and to live their lives. When they may feel they are not as intelligent or able as they feel they must be to be a worthy person, they have nothing else. They stand there stripped to the bone, cut off from their only sense of self or worth as human being. So they must keep ego defenses up and believe deeply in the infalibility of their thinking and logic, as they have nothing else to believe in themselves about. Really it seems like a lot of inhuman pressure to live under and it would never relent as it comes from the self.

The Feeler divorced from thinking is in just as bad a situation.

One thing I have noticed is that many Ts find it especially hard to admit to having irrational motivations and claim to be totally objective and rational when in actuality they are rationalizing said irrational motivations. Point out the rationalization and they will instinctively get defensive because you are threatening the essence of their ego-image ("I am rational, I am logical, I am intelligent").

 

[rainoneventide]

I value them because they're different from me. At the same time I can't really understand how they live like that, constantly analyzing facts and figures and such. It seems kind of nauseating. But I wouldn't have them any other way.

 

[staytuned7]

Mmmm...I do believe that I love me some Thinkers. Well, hum. I'll have to rephrase that as "I love me some Intuitive Thinkers." Maybe it's because of the shared "N" that I really seem to hit it off with these people. The conversations I've had with the NTs in my life have been some of the most captivating and stimulating. As a strong F with an extreme love of complex scientific theories and the like, I find that friendships with NTs balance me out (not so much "ground" me - that's what S-types are for - but to help me shift my focus).

I am very wrapped up in my world of feelings a lot of the time that a T will come along and take me on a whirlwind adventure through my mind and the possibilities of the universe. It's like a breath of fresh air sometimes! I also find I enjoy the logical way of viewing things (like decision-making processes, for example). I can't, personally, adhere to carrying out my life in that way (again, being such a strong F), but I can understand and appreciate a T's point of view.

T's can be tiresome sometimes if you do get one who is rigid and has an "emotions are useless" attitude. I will agree with the statements of those on here concerning these tendencies. As long as you can spar with a T on the intellectual field, however, even the most rigid and (dare I say it) immature T will respect you.

But the company of a T who is in tune with his Feeling side (or, at least, one who can appreciate emotion) is a gem, indeed. I can't think a more awesome person to be with than a T with a developed Feeling side!

I also find that, if a T is open enough (again, in tune with his Feeling side), there is much that I can bring to the relationship (friendship or otherwise) as well as him me. I have found that many Ts enjoy Feelers and are somewhat reverently baffled by them. A good T friend of mine has confessed that he "is in awe at how I can trust my feeling so much to make a decision based off of them." In a lot of ways, it's not that all Thinkers dislike feeling...they're just not as confident of their emotions as we Feelers are.

I just have to make sure with my T relationships that I don't let myself get run away with emotion. If I find myself slip, they close themselves off because it makes them uncomfortable! I really don't mind this, though. If they're respectful enough to not be too cold and calculating around me (something that, if done uncompromisingly can make me shut down), I can be respectful to not be too emotional around them.

It's a bit of a balancing act in an F/T relationship and luckily I've only gotten to know Ts who can see the rich benefits that can be reaped from making those compromises. I am more than willing to. I love the rationale of the Ts (and perhaps envy them it just a little).

I do often find myself assigning feelings to them that aren't there though.

I learned long ago (as I'm sure you probably have learned, too) that this was one of the most fruitless things I could do.

 

[segulah]

In one sense I envy how unaffected they can be, but in general I think almost all T's I have encountered have been total friggin' asses. woot woot.

 

[Coeur]

I find thinkers refreshing. They are less high-maintenance and balance me out quite nicely.

 

[BlackCat]

I find thinkers refreshing. They are less high-maintenance and balance me out quite nicely.

Yes.

 

[Skyward]

Mmmm... INTP women....

 

[r.a]

I wish we had a Feelers private forum so the SF could reply on this thread but we don't so...

Anyway, what do the folks here in the NF private forum really think about Thinkers?

i think they are thinkers. they are what they are.

as people who are close to me, they balance out a perspective that i experience through emotion, which is very difficult for me to convert to language. there are times where i misjudge a situation because i do not have a dominant thinking function. i also likewise help thinkers understand the emotional part of things, though its pretty annoying when they discard my perspective because they don't fully understand the value of a dominant feeling function and the perspective that comes with it. many times it is quickly dismissed as 'unimportant' because it is so outside of their subjective experience. i try my best to be objective to a thinker's ideas and take them for what they are worth. all in all, i don't know where i would be without the thinkers in my life. the ones i keep close mean the world to me.

 

[Bubbles]

I think Thinkers are awesome, and that they like us irrational Feelers more than they admit to.

 

[Stanton Moore]

Thinkers need to design a better track bed so the metro will run more smoothly, so I can read in peace.

 

[SillySapienne]

Just like I've spent many days wishing I was a boy, or a lesbian, so too have I fantasized about being a thinker.

As feelers, we are so sensitive to ourselves, and others, and the emotional state of things, whether that be complete and utter despair, or complete and utter elation.

Our emotional climate matters to us, our moral compasses must constantly be calibrated, and thinkers, (it seems), can just barrel through life without paying much attention to one or the other or even both.

How easy life would be if you weren't concerned about the well being of others, if you weren't empathetic.

I dunno.

Every T I know is kind of clueless.

 

[SillySapienne]

I do tend to be highly attracted to them, both as friends and lovers, fwiw.

 

[Stanton Moore]

I do tend to be highly attracted to them, both as friends and lovers, fwiw.

I feel an attraction to them too, although not really as lovers, although I might go there, given the chance...why not?
I find it easy to put on a persona that is appealing to them, but I don't do this anymore. I guess it was my natural desire to make others happy and comfortable, but it always left me out in some way. Learning my type helped me to be more 'firm' in my dealings with them.
Some of the NT's on this board are young and act like assholes, but I don't think this indicates much about thinkers at large.
I tend to find them easier to get along with at a surface level than feelers, and easier to understand. Feelers are so opaque sometimes.

 

[SillySapienne]

Thinkers are waaaaaay easier to deal with and be around.

Especially if you feel like being private, or alone with your feelings while in the company of others, they don't detect or pry!