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[MBTI General] NF Feeling different than SF Feeling

Rachelinpa

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How is NF feeling different from SF Feeling?

Your thoughts please.
 

Totenkindly

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I always feel like SF feeling is more judgmental because it's less apt to see the other person's side, at least not upfront on its own. It gets anchored in its singular framework and immediately judges; NF values are aware there's multiple approaches and takes more care to figure them out before acting on judgment.

(That's been my personal experience.)
 

Moiety

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I always feel like SF feeling is more judgmental because it's less apt to see the other person's side, at least not upfront on its own. It gets anchored in its singular framework and immediately judges; NF values are aware there's multiple approaches and takes more care to figure them out before acting on judgment.)

Yeah, not to sound too negative towards SFs but I agree that they seem more judgmental.

I think it has to do with life's circumstances too, if you will. Ns being less common and thus inherently "weirder", learn to be more open to different stances right off the bat I think.

But when the SF is intelligent and mature it's never really a problem.
 

Thalassa

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The only way I can compare NF to SF feeling is to compare me to my ex. My feelings are more humanitarian at times (but not always), and his are more focused on things like loyalty to family. He never really shared my emotional interest in the political world at large, but he could care about a certain individual or case to the point of tears. He also would accuse me of analyzing my feelings or second guessing myself, where as he just accepted his feelings no matter what they were, which I perceived sometimes as being dangerous. I think at times we both live in our feelings, but these are the differences I can think of.
 

Lady_X

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i think if i were to compare myself with my isfj sister that what jennifer and sy said is pretty accurate...she has lots of love and will do anything for someone she loves...as long as... it fits into her ideals...and as long as that person behaves in a way she can accept....but...very little shades of grey...little tolerance...shuts people out easier...for breaking a "rule" of hers.

edit: the above description sounds more negatively than i intended. i meant to explain that to me it feels like it's more black and white with her...more all or nothing but honestly haven't met a more caring, nurturing selfless person when it comes to those she cares about. it's just that i feel like my feeling is based on the shades of grey and i'm less likely to write people off.
 

whimsical

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nf feeling has more to do with values where sf feeling has more to do with actions and things you can actually see/observe
 

Athenian200

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I always feel like SF feeling is more judgmental because it's less apt to see the other person's side, at least not upfront on its own. It gets anchored in its singular framework and immediately judges; NF values are aware there's multiple approaches and takes more care to figure them out before acting on judgment.

(That's been my personal experience.)

It's really a shame that they have to be like that, some of them seem to have so much potential to be good people.

I think sometimes this also applies to an NTs SF shadow. Some NTs end up developing an SF emotional processing instead of an NF one, which can lead to the same unfortunate limitations.

That makes me wonder: are STs, ironically, more likely to have NF-like values (though they favor impersonal reasoning)? It's interesting to think about...
 

Lauren Ashley

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He also would accuse me of analyzing my feelings or second guessing myself, where as he just accepted his feelings no matter what they were, which I perceived sometimes as being dangerous.

Yes, I see this as another major difference. In my experience with SFs, they readily accept their feelings as they are. I've heard many times from them, "It is what it is." I tend to ruminate over my feelings and analyze why I feel the way I do; what their causes and implications are.
 

Siúil a Rúin

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Abstract feelings are some of the most intangible sort of thoughts. Logic can be laid out step by step and the error in thinking can be pinpointed with precision. Feelings based on concrete context can also respond more easily to a positive concrete context. The process for finding and correcting error are more absolute and systematic.

For me perception and emotion are structured internally. My mind searches for patterns from experience and ideas and attempts to build cohesive patterns from these. I have dealt with a lot of thoughts dealing with a sense of existential isolation. It isn't just about feeling lonely if my friend is away and being able to be happy once they return. Instead I have an overshadowing sense of how impossible it is to ever really know someone or to ever fully connect. Each time someone misunderstands me, misjudges me, it stings not because it has a bad effect on a current circumstance which caused immediate social embarrassment, or losing a job. To me these thing pale in comparison to the fact that we are all trapped in our little blocks of ice and it is all degree of misunderstanding and disconnect. This core sense of isolation can be manifested in a thousand ways. In those instances in my life when various manifestations of it all come into alignment, my sense of being alone becomes overwhelming like being suspended in the vacuum of space. There are aspects of abstract emotional experience that are much like certain kinds of poetry. It is a distilled, symbolic reality. It's demons are like phantoms that attack, but can't be grasped, and its bliss is a momentary sense of being connected to everything.
 

scantilyclad

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I always feel like SF feeling is more judgmental because it's less apt to see the other person's side, at least not upfront on its own. It gets anchored in its singular framework and immediately judges; NF values are aware there's multiple approaches and takes more care to figure them out before acting on judgment.

(That's been my personal experience.)

I agree with this completely.
 

proteanmix

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Hmmm, I don't really know how to answer this question or what you're looking for. I've often wondered if there's some meaningful difference in the expression of feeling or feeling itself between SFs and NFs. What I get from the attitudes people have on the forum is that NFs feel more intensely, deeply, purely, holistically, organically, or closer to the essence of whatever the feeling or emotion is. Look at what everyone is saying, there is a belief that SFs don't "get it" there is no true understanding of another person just superficial understanding only concerned with the shape and form of things but no clue on how to get inside the inner workings of another person. I don't believe this is true of course and these kinds of attitudes make me wonder how truly NFs try to understand and connect with the people around them. What I'm wondering is how can NFs hold this attitude if they have such an alleged greater capacity for understanding human nature?

I see this mostly voiced through people saying they're not able to "connect" with an SF or that the SF doesn't understand them. But then the next thought I have is do you understand the SF so well? It's like the aim isn't for mutual understanding of each other, you've got to understand ME (non-SF) in order for me to begin to understand YOU. Then I think if people understood the SF so well wouldn't the communication issues would be less of a obstacle? When you understand someone regardless of type, you'd know the ways to talk them, to reach them in a way brings clarity and not more confusion. It seems to me that there is more mutual misunderstanding than anything else, which in my mind obliterates the idea that NFs in fact do have a greater capacity to see multiple viewpoints.

And I just read what has been typed since I started this post. Regarding SFs analyzing their feelings more, it reminds me of title I glanced at a while ago called "Men Cry in the Dark." I don't think it would be that much of a stretch to say that people don't give up their most deeply held feelings on a whim or just in casual conversation. I have rarely heard someone pop out at lunch time conversation with the inner demons they're battling and honestly when it has happened there's been awkward silence, averted eyes, and foot shuffling. What type of analysis of feeling do you expect someone to give to you? Do they feel comfortable telling it to you? Yeah, I'm definitely one of those people you'll hear it is what it is from, but that doesn't mean my heart and mind wasn't churning.

NFs how many of you foster the type of relationships with people to get that level of transparency? Most of the time, people only reveal that stuff in intimate relationships, some people it takes them years to deconstruct life changing experiences and what the effects were on their psyche. Do you want someone to come out with instant perspective? LOL, I think that people are stupid and not stupid all at the same time.
 

Udog

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NFs: strive for a potential, ideal, greater picture feeling. Emotions can be divorced from the reality of the situation.
SFs: encompass, embrace, and excel at feeling and expressing in the moment. Here today, gone tomorrow.
 

Athenian200

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NFs: strive for a potential, ideal, greater picture feeling. Emotions can be divorced from the reality of the situation.
SFs: encompass, embrace, and excel at feeling and expressing that feeling in the moment. Here today, gone tomorrow.

Really? In some ways I actually relate to the second one better.

Are you sure that you aren't confusing this with Fi vs. Fe?
 

Udog

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Really? In some ways I actually relate to the second one better.

Are you sure that you aren't confusing this with Fi vs. Fe?

Possibly. I intentionally tried to avoid that error, and I do feel like my NF description relates to the INFJs I've known better than the SF description. I guess I need more feedback...
 

Lauren Ashley

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NFs: strive for a potential, ideal, greater picture feeling. Emotions can be divorced from the reality of the situation.
SFs: encompass, embrace, and excel at feeling and expressing in the moment. Here today, gone tomorrow.

Agreed. Except for the "here today, gone tomorrow" part. I believe that would also depend on P vs. J.
 

Snow Turtle

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Hmmm, I don't really know how to answer this question or what you're looking for. I've often wondered if there's some meaningful difference in the expression of feeling or feeling itself between SFs and NFs. What I get from the attitudes people have on the forum is that NFs feel more intensely, deeply, purely, holistically, organically, or closer to the essence of whatever the feeling or emotion is. Look at what everyone is saying, there is a belief that SFs don't "get it" there is no true understanding of another person just superficial understanding only concerned with the shape and form of things but no clue on how to get inside the inner workings of another person. I don't believe this is true of course and these kinds of attitudes make me wonder how truly NFs try to understand and connect with the people around them. What I'm wondering is how can NFs hold this attitude if they have such an alleged greater capacity for understanding human nature?

I see this mostly voiced through people saying they're not able to "connect" with an SF or that the SF doesn't understand them. But then the next thought I have is do you understand the SF so well? It's like the aim isn't for mutual understanding of each other, you've got to understand ME (non-SF) in order for me to begin to understand YOU. Then I think if people understood the SF so well wouldn't the communication issues would be less of a obstacle? When you understand someone regardless of type, you'd know the ways to talk them, to reach them in a way brings clarity and not more confusion. It seems to me that there is more mutual misunderstanding than anything else, which in my mind obliterates the idea that NFs in fact do have a greater capacity to see multiple viewpoints.

And I just read what has been typed since I started this post. Regarding SFs analyzing their feelings more, it reminds me of title I glanced at a while ago called "Men Cry in the Dark." I don't think it would be that much of a stretch to say that people don't give up their most deeply held feelings on a whim or just in casual conversation. I have rarely heard someone pop out at lunch time conversation with the inner demons they're battling and honestly when it has happened there's been awkward silence, averted eyes, and foot shuffling. What type of analysis of feeling do you expect someone to give to you? Do they feel comfortable telling it to you? Yeah, I'm definitely one of those people you'll hear it is what it is from, but that doesn't mean my heart and mind wasn't churning.

NFs how many of you foster the type of relationships with people to get that level of transparency? Most of the time, people only reveal that stuff in intimate relationships, some people it takes them years to deconstruct life changing experiences and what the effects were on their psyche. Do you want someone to come out with instant perspective? LOL, I think that people are stupid and not stupid all at the same time.

+1

Either we (The other SFs on this forum) are anomalies or there's something wrong with the guideline rule. Personally I don't get the impression I'm that unique compared to other SF, especially other SFJs in my life. We're all extremely similar so I have to conclude something is up with these assessments that are being bounced around.

I think it has to do with life's circumstances too, if you will. Ns being less common and thus inherently "weirder", learn to be more open to different stances right off the bat I think.

This is definitely true. It's a matter of needing to adapt. It's also the reason I've found it really bizzare when I see another 'social reject' slating off another person for being too weird. I've been a social outcast for most of my life, the only child in the family who did something outside the usual paths. It's not the N/S that determines how judgemental people are, it's whether they are used to doing something differently. But at the end of the day, most people fear the unknown. I doubt that's any less true for intuitives.

nf feeling has more to do with values where sf feeling has more to do with actions and things you can actually see/observe

No. This is just more stereotyping.
Gah I always feel like such a tool attempting to defend sensors or feeling based sensors.
 

Udog

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Agreed. Except for the "here today, gone tomorrow" part. I believe that would also depend on P vs. J.

Yeah... I can see where I may have confused Fi-Se vs Fe-Si there.
 

Totenkindly

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I always feel like such a tool attempting to defend sensors or feeling based sensors.

No, please defend.

My original comment wasn't meant to be definitive but just part of the picture; I knew that some other people would have some ideas to help balance or clarify what I said.
 

runvardh

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Gah I always feel like such a tool attempting to defend sensors or feeling based sensors.

If you look at the types that have posted in this thread you may get half an idea why the descriptions feel like BS to you. The less you guys participate the longer the BS continues. *shrug*
 

Jeffster

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It's really a shame that they have to be like that, some of them seem to have so much potential to be good people.

Yeah, that's not a condescending sentence at all. :shock:
 
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