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[ENFJ] ENFj's relationships!

Lauren

New member
Joined
Dec 7, 2008
Messages
255
MBTI Type
INFP
i hate ENFJs :steam:
i actually only know one. and i don't hate her at all :wubbie:
i just hate that she is in complete control of my emotions when i'm around her.
i hate that one day she will make me feel so good about myself.. like she needs me, and then the next day she will barely even acknowledge me. and she'll be off making other people think she cares about them.

i mean.. maybe i am the one to blame. i hate feeling like i'm unwanted or i'm annoying someone. i have this stupid "if you don't care about me, i don't give a shit about you" image that i subconciously try to give off. i don't want her to know how much she matters to me.. but really my best days are the days we connect and my worst are the days she seems to forget i exist.

i think i might be pushing her away.. maybe she really wants to be close to me but doesn't know how because if anything she probably thinks that i find her annoying.. i don't, i just get annoyed when i see her treat random people she barely knows almost the same way she treats me. it makes me feel like shit and i'm sure she has no idea.

we are both in the same group of really close friends. we hang out all the time and get along really well, but like i said, there are times when i feel like she doesn't actually care about me at all. i hate that this whole thing bugs me so much

....SO... my question for all you ENFJs is how can i get closer to her? being pushy is not my nature at all. normally it isn't difficult for me to let people get close to me.. but with her it's different. i feel like i have my guard up.. probably because i realllly like her. :\

As an INFP, I have felt the same as you in certain situations with more extraverted NFs. I'm a more extraverted INFP and I've felt that I'm more friendly with people and give them the impression that I'm close to them when it's just that I like people, in general, and enjoy a meaningful, personal conversation. But, with the friends I care deeply for, I make sure they see ALL of me, and consistently. I trust them completely. I'll also take more time for them, and discuss things that are of a more personal nature. So, I think ENFJs or ENFPs can give off a vibe that may be confusing to an INFP. But, it's probably that it's just in their nature to be outwardly friendly and warm. I would suggest that you should just go for it, if you like her, and assume that her interactions with others, though warm, means that's just her nature--to want that warm interaction with others and that you may hold a different, special place for her.
 
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