[MBTI General] INFP and E/ISFP relationship?

[Thalassa]

I had a very long term relationship (almost married) an E/ISFP, but we argued and while we seemed to share many important deep traits, others were COMPLETELY off base :steam:. We both had a very hard time getting over each other even though we had problems. We are still friends and I care about him , but realistically I don't think it will work as a life-long thing, yet then it's hard to completely give this person up (I guess reality isn't my strong point! )

I don't know if he is an E or an I because he is more E than me, but he also has an I side (he's an obsessive collector and he's very into what he's into and mostly does that alone). He's the type of person who avoids actually taking psych tests, but I know for sure he's an SFP.

Is this a common problem? Are these just clashing temperaments?

 

[runvardh]

If the values aren't similar enough it tends to suck. If either one or both are too imature it sucks even more. Not my happiest experiences, but as with any type the right conditions can make this a nice relationship, I'm sure.

 

[Ariel]

I don't think so. Maybe you two just weren't meant to be involved in a romantic relationship. Did you talk to him about how you felt?

 

[Thalassa]

We were together on and off for six years. The romance and sex weren't the problem. Passion was never our problem. Our problem, I surmise, is that as an INFP am more serious (which he lamented of considerably) and take any kind of anger or criticism very hard. As an SFP he is more concerned with the outer world, and while I strongly, strongly admire his ability to decorate and arrange aesthetics through art and music for sensual enjoyment and comfort, I found him lacking in introspection. He's sensitive and cares about the sadness of the world, but only when it's convenient for him - otherwise he's much less philosophical about life, and not as into "causes" as I am. He seems almost to have two personalities: a very giving, affectionate, sweet, caring side, and a very insensitive, harsh, shallow "performer" side. Basically we merged half the time, and the other half I thought he was being a brute and he thought I was being a bore.