• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ENFP] ENFPs and feeling ... confused, fake, misunderstood, weird....

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
I am almost completely new to MBTI, and I still cant type any of people from my RL (probably because of too personal-F view of them so I cant be objective at all)... but it seems to me that ENFPs often feel fake. Like there is not only one personality they have. Maybe most people feel that way no matter what type they are, but it seems, and as I read, it's pretty often among ENFPs.

So, basically, this ENFP personality looks a bit clownish, cheerful, enthusiastic... EDIT:by clownish I dont mean fake.
But on the other hand, I as an ENFP, when I act stereotypicaly for ENFPs (I am guessing at least 70% time, and 30% I am more like mixture of other 3 NPs), I don't feel fake, I feel strong Ne which is making me act that way and I feel great. Other 30% times I wonder who was that clown I was acting like, not that I don't feel like that was me, but I feel like I felt tooooo misunderstood so I kind of used Ne and just said "what the hell, I'll live!!", and I ask myself "what were you thinking, foolish girl, that there is food for your soul out there?", but I still keep going back to that same world, it's not about me, I'm about the world.

I think that maybe ENFPs as all NFs feel very deep and need deep connection, but they feel it towards the world... and as one can't have deep connection with stupid and often superficial world, that makes ENFP struggle between deep Fi and outer world... Fi wants something that world just cant give enough, but still, that something, for ENFP, is in the world.

Any thoughts on this??
Or perhaps, solution for this heartbreaking problem..
 
Last edited:

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Clowns are trying to copy ENFP's cause they make people feel good.

So there.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4, 7
I've been thinking a lot about this lately..

Yeah, I agree. I tend to put my clown face on with family friends. I laugh things off. My INFP cousin even subtly asked me when people do this (implying on me), if they're truly presenting what they feel or are they laughing at their own insecurities. I would say it's a little bit of both.

I naturally love to laugh. I love to have fun. I love to conversate, but at a steady pace. But doing these things gets me nowhere when people can't/don't always take me seriously.

It's the one-on-one conversations that I think I feel more authentic when I feel understood.

Besides that, I figure- the majority of the time, say.. 98%, most people I know, would rather enjoy the lies than the truth, so I tend to keep what I know to myself in that regard, unless asked upon for advice or something, then I will offer my insight.

I truly feel conflicted with what I enjoy presenting, and how I feel inside. Sometimes, that 'feeling' is way to much, and I'd rather resort to my own space and do my own thing..
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
I've been thinking a lot about this lately..

Yeah, I agree. I tend to put my clown face on with family friends. I laugh things off. My INFP cousin even subtly asked me when people do this (implying on me), if they're truly presenting what they feel or are they laughing at their own insecurities. I would say it's a little bit of both.

Yeah, I wouldn't call it clown face - I just said it looks clownish..but "clown face" implies it is fake, but I am not sure how fake it is. It just way of deeling with strong emotions and maybe of expressing them - so maybe opossite to fake.

It's the one-on-one conversations that I think I feel more authentic when I feel understood.

Sure. I think that (my) ENFPs behaviour (and I'm not saying its necessarly BAD behaviour! ) is from feeling misunderstood, and from feeling too much.

Besides that, I figure- the majority of the time, say.. 98%, most people I know, would rather enjoy the lies than the truth, so I tend to keep what I know to myself in that regard, unless asked upon for advice or something, then I will offer my insight.


Hm, okay, this is not me, but its not on-topic so nvm.

I truly feel conflicted with what I enjoy presenting, and how I feel inside. Sometimes, that 'feeling' is way too much, and I'd rather resort to my own space and do my own thing..

That's just it. Too much. But unlike INF types, we feel too much towards world so we just have to direct it OUT even though its impossible to find place in world for all of these feelings.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
That's just it. Too much. But unlike INF types, we feel too much towards world so we just have to direct it OUT even though its impossible to find place in world for all of these feelings.

:yes:
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Maybe making people happy makes you happy and it also energizes you so you kinda go overboard with happiness and excitement.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I tried for 15 years to become something else. It doesn't work, you just become a frustrated ENFP.

Good luck on your quest to become a dumb xxxx. But it's not worth it.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
poki has a point...i get all wired on the good energy vibe and just turn into this silly effusive bubble of a person when in good company...that sounds weird but i think it has to do with the silly switch thing...you get all happy and it just presents iteslf that way...clownish maybe...and it's not that it's fake it's just such a contrast to the deep emotional/thinking introspective person that we also are.
 

Kalach

Filthy Apes!
Joined
Dec 3, 2008
Messages
4,310
MBTI Type
INTJ
It's about the values, innit? You're going to face the world, you're going to be in its face, and you're going to want people to be in it with you, so you're going to want to (someday) decide what's good in it and what's bad, and--maybe more importantly--what to support. Like, there's happy, and then there's deep happy, right? And since you're going to be urging happiness anyway, might as well urge true happiness because that feels better, yeah? So worrying about being clownish is the process of finding out what is true.

Or something.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
right...it's that need to feel authentic yeah...like yeah we may be silly...but it's important you know we're also this...because THIS is what matters and defines us.

or something.
 

kyuuei

Emperor/Dictator
Joined
Aug 28, 2008
Messages
13,964
MBTI Type
enfp
Enneagram
8
I don't really ever feel fake.. I'm a broad range of emotions, and they're pretty clearly defined. My 'mellow' self is way different from me 'cutsey' self, which is also different from my more 'serious' self, etc. Everyone is like that, but I think my pictures just have brighter colors than some peoples.. Like instead of shades of blue, I have blue, green, red, purple, etc. I don't think it's fake to be that way. They're all a part of who I am.
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
I tried for 15 years to become something else. It doesn't work, you just become a frustrated ENFP.

Good luck on your quest to become a dumb xxxx. But it's not worth it.

I am aware of that for a long time already. But untill recently I was hoping I will be more STJ, at least enough not to be too different because its exhausting being different, but I never really tried accepting the fact that I'm different so maybe I made it even more unpleasant. But deffinately is truth that its hard to be N among many Ss.
Despite the fact I am ENFP I am somehow traditional and want have common life which I thought, untill recently, I can only have by changing my enfp-nature. That was really wrong direction, I know. It was just a thought, never made action on it.
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
Kalach, Lady X - yeah, completely like that. Its nice feeling, but I feel somehow burden from my (over)connectedness with the world. Probably I never tried really to embrace that "burden".
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
I don't really ever feel fake.. I'm a broad range of emotions, and they're pretty clearly defined. My 'mellow' self is way different from me 'cutsey' self, which is also different from my more 'serious' self, etc. Everyone is like that, but I think my pictures just have brighter colors than some peoples.. Like instead of shades of blue, I have blue, green, red, purple, etc. I don't think it's fake to be that way. They're all a part of who I am.

I agree, I don't think its fake or wrong, but sometimes feels like burden to me. It's good thing I don't have "creative depression" for a burden, like many Ns have. I have burdening positivity, its def better option.
 

Chloe

New member
Joined
May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
poki has a point...i get all wired on the good energy vibe and just turn into this silly effusive bubble of a person when in good company...that sounds weird but i think it has to do with the silly switch thing...you get all happy and it just presents iteslf that way...clownish maybe...and it's not that it's fake it's just such a contrast to the deep emotional/thinking introspective person that we also are.

Right, contrast. Not fake. Thats the right word. Maybe I am too judgemental about that behaviour towards myself because I never really understood why I act that way, it felt right, but I was confused what was happening...
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
I go with fake + confused.

Have no real experience though and will never have, promise ;)
 
Top