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[NF] Do you have "issues" in your family? How do you deal with them?

NashK

New member
Joined
Aug 5, 2008
Messages
21
MBTI Type
INFP
I assume NFs have a harder time dealing with issues, like divorce,etc. Did you ever have any issues in your home- during childhood or later? How did you cope or deal with them?
 

NashK

New member
Joined
Aug 5, 2008
Messages
21
MBTI Type
INFP
I assume this because we have more sensitive natures and tend to take things personally (e.g. parents fighting.) We also have more intense emotions than others (at least us INFPs.) Therefore it seems logical that we would be affected in a greater way.

If not, then prove me wrong. Be my guest.
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
I tried very hard to be indifferent towards such as much as possible.
 

NashK

New member
Joined
Aug 5, 2008
Messages
21
MBTI Type
INFP
I tried very hard to be indifferent towards such as much as possible.

How can a NF cut off or be indifferent to a situation, especially one that's under the same roof. Aren't we wired to take things personally?
 
S

Sniffles

Guest
How can a NF cut off or be indifferent to a situation, especially one that's under the same roof. Aren't we wired to take things personally?

Indeed we are wired like that. However, intervening with the issues that came up in my family would often makes things worse. So unless it affected me directly, I just tuned it out as best I could. It's really all I could do.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4, 7
I look at it this way: Even though our parents are our parents, they're still our parents. Despite them being able to 'mentour' us, they are still imperfect, and may/may not be a product of their own environment.

I look at them as a whole, and once I can really understand them, that is when I can be whatevers with them, and laugh at/with them.

I think, laughing is important. That's how I deal with it, then keep to myself, engage in things I enjoy, or help out when needed.
 

run

New member
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
466
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
I assume NFs have a harder time dealing with issues, like divorce,etc. Did you ever have any issues in your home- during childhood or later? How did you cope or deal with them?

NFs? Maybe. My issues with my parents bother me a lot.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
MBTI Type
JINX
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I had/have a lot of family issues.
I don't know if how I handled them has much to do with type, per se. But I suppose it could.
I took responsibility for the emotional welfare of everyone in my family, repressing my own needs. Codependence.
It's something I'm still working to unlearn to this day.
Over time, I've learned how to look at those situations/relationships in a more objective light, in order to make sense of what's healthy, and what's not, and what I'm responsible for, and what I'm capable of doing for myself, as well as others.

Because I feel so deeply, and take things intensely personally [regarding my family dynamic] I had to turn off certain parts of myself to just survive/maintain some semblance of sanity, I think.
Studying psychology helped a lot.
Befriending NTs has, as well.
I'm slowly learning how to feel human again.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4, 7
^ I think sometimes, when we care too much, we literally can 'feel' the other persons' pain, and it really eats us up inside? It does for me.

I learned to accept the fact that some people just do not share the same intentions.. Everything that they do, including myself, is a choice.

Other people have a choice to do what they think/feel is right, but sometimes, our choices don't quite match up and we miscommunicate.

What helps me most is to have hope that things will always work out for the best, regardless.

We don't necessarily have to try to fix others' problems, because that is out of our hands. I think if we tend to our own needs and wish others well, then the pain eventually subsides and things work itself out, when the time's right..
 

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
I assume this because we have more sensitive natures and tend to take things personally (e.g. parents fighting.) We also have more intense emotions than others (at least us INFPs.) Therefore it seems logical that we would be affected in a greater way.

Tend to take things personally? See this I don't understand. I'm an NF and can't relate to that at all.

I'm always very much aware of what I want or need and, being very vocal, haven't got the slightest problem in making myself heard if I'm feeling unhappy. ENFPs are known for their good coping mechanisms (and this I've read elsewhere too) and along with other NFs don't get enough credit for being able to handle their own feelings. I mean...WE are feelers. How is a non NF any better equipped to deal with relationships problems?? We are the "people" people.

If not, then prove me wrong. Be my guest.

How about you prove me you're right? :tongue:

You're all a bunch of crybabies! I, NT, have spoken! And so it is thus.

Hey mister, I think you're on to something there.
 
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