[INFP] INFPs cynics

[Gengar]

Are any of you at times rather cynical? So for example, you laugh when someone does something embarassing or you feel a huge thrill when you see others (as long as it's not you) arguing.

Truth be told, I happen to be like that sometimes. But I'm so certain I'm INFP. Is there something wrong with my head?

 

[antireconciler]

It's good to see that these things do happen to other people. I note how they react and how other people react to it and so if I do something as embarrassing or something bad happens to me or I get in a fight with someone without meaning to that I can put it in perspective and know these things happen to people and it doesn't mean I have to take it too seriously, like fate has singled me out to torment, but can recover without making it worse.

I generally don't like to have the dirt on people because it gives me a dirty feeling to think of it that way which makes me paranoid. Sometimes I laugh if people do embarrassing things irl, but I don't feel good about it. I may as well proclaim my sense of despair, but that's a lot like whining. I feel a strong need to not whine because it makes me feel like a little kid throwing a tantrum and that thoroughly clashes with who I want to be.

I like your avy, btw

 

[BlackCat]

I am cynical, but I don't let that get in the way of my idealism. I am very cynical, also a pessimist around certain areas.

 

[Sentura]

rarely. i'm extremely open minded.

 

[BlackCat]

rarely. i'm extremely open minded.

What does this have to do with being open minded?

 

[OrangeAppled]

I can be suspicious of people's motives.....if they are "too nice", I wonder why.

I tend to think in terms of "worst case scenario", yet still fantasize about the outcome I really want to happen because a part of me still believes it can happen.

IDK, I think life has banged & bruised many of us up a bit and cynicism is a way of being guarded, so that we're not overly vulnerable.

 

[Jeremy]

I can be cynical at times, but there's a part of me that always tries to stay positive even when that little voice is saying "Everythings going to go badly."

 

[BlackCat]

I can be cynical at times, but there's a part of me that always tries to stay positive even when that little voice is saying "Everythings going to go badly."

Yeah I can agree with that.

 

[sleuthiness]

Life is a gut pie of optimism.

 

[PeaceBaby]

Are any of you at times rather cynical? So for example, you laugh when someone does something embarassing or you feel a huge thrill when you see others (as long as it's not you) arguing.

I don't think cynical is the right word for the feelings you are describing.

I sometimes think uncharitable thoughts about others that I would never dare to voice out loud. Then, another person WILL voice those thoughts, and I confess that I do experience some vicarious pleasure in the situation.

As much as I always try to be positive about others, there's a little "devilish" part that is sometimes more disparaging than I would like to admit.

 

[Bubbles]

I'm cynical in the sense that if I think something isn't gonna work, my pessimist side comes out. And it doesn't like to leave. But I think that's more realist than cynic?

I don't really like to laugh at people who get in bad situations unless they're confident and laugh about it themselves. It makes me sad to see people get hurt. I dunno. :/

 

[Lacey]

I don't think cynical is the right word for the feelings you are describing.

Exactly. Cynicism isn't enjoying others' misfortunes. (And don't worry, I'm not judging you for that, 'cause I totally do that too. Especially to people who "deserve" it, whatever that means.)

It's "a person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points of view" and "showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one's actions, esp. by actions that exploit the scruples of others". I especially identify with the 2nd one. So yeah, I'm reluctantly cynical. I want to be positive, but when you see how fucked up everything is, it's...just really, really hard to be optimistic sometimes.

 

[the state i am in]

I can be suspicious of people's motives.....if they are "too nice", I wonder why.

I tend to think in terms of "worst case scenario", yet still fantasize about the outcome I really want to happen because a part of me still believes it can happen.

IDK, I think life has banged & bruised many of us up a bit and cynicism is a way of being guarded, so that we're not overly vulnerable.

i think the enneagram adds interesting points to this. especially when you describe the enneagram types as ego fixation. it seems to me there is a very distinct difference between 4w5 and 9w1 enneagram infp types. most of the 9s i know seem wayyyy more open than the 4s.

i agree totally that it is a way of being guarded. i notice a huge difference between infjs who are 5s vs infjs who are 4s or whatever else. 5s are paranoid. they use cynicism to round out the flavor of their world. it's like vanilla bean, really ties the room together. keep the world at a distance (Ti!), detach, and prevent your experiences from being routed thru the lens of the Self that hurts so much when it (the world) and your action, desire, dreams, etc are REFLECTION of you (rself) in it.

i also feel like there's a really big difference based on introversion/extroversion balance within the continuum of a type. how some infjs can be so Ni Ti and very unexpressed via Fe Se. or infps that are more Fi Si and get trapped in endless remembering, reliving the vivid emotional past (seems very enneagram 4 to me), whereas others express more and practice using Ne Te quite a bit more (and are probably 9s). get out of the traps of negative feeling, and make new, new, new.

 

[Wiley45]

I'm cynical a lot (as defined by Lacey above), but I don't usually find it amusing or fun when people are hurt or embarrassed. If someone is being really arrogant and makes a stupid mistake, I usually think they're getting what they deserve. If someone is causing pain to someone else, and then gets hurt him/herself, I usually don't have much sympathy for that person. Otherwise, though, I'm usually the first one to rush in and try to make someone feel less hurt or embarrassed.

 

[OrangeAppled]

i think the enneagram adds interesting points to this. especially when you describe the enneagram types as ego fixation. it seems to me there is a very distinct difference between 4w5 and 9w1 enneagram infp types. most of the 9s i know seem wayyyy more open than the 4s.

i agree totally that it is a way of being guarded. i notice a huge difference between infjs who are 5s vs infjs who are 4s or whatever else. 5s are paranoid. they use cynicism to round out the flavor of their world. it's like vanilla bean, really ties the room together. keep the world at a distance (Ti!), detach, and prevent your experiences from being routed thru the lens of the Self that hurts so much when it (the world) and your action, desire, dreams, etc are REFLECTION of you (rself) in it.

i also feel like there's a really big difference based on introversion/extroversion balance within the continuum of a type. how some infjs can be so Ni Ti and very unexpressed via Fe Se. or infps that are more Fi Si and get trapped in endless remembering, reliving the vivid emotional past (seems very enneagram 4 to me), whereas others express more and practice using Ne Te quite a bit more (and are probably 9s). get out of the traps of negative feeling, and make new, new, new.

You make enneagram 4 sound so baaaaaad

 

[Gengar]

Good to know that I'm not the only one :O

by the way everybody else seems to think that we're incapable of 'bad' thoughts, i'd say that they were highly misleaded :S

 

[Southern Kross]

Are any of you at times rather cynical? So for example, you laugh when someone does something embarassing or you feel a huge thrill when you see others (as long as it's not you) arguing.

Truth be told, I happen to be like that sometimes. But I'm so certain I'm INFP. Is there something wrong with my head?

I'm a cynical idealist - its a balance for me.

As for the examples you give, my reaction would be embarrassment. I get embarrassed by everything especially someone else embarrassing themselves - its like torture for me. And I have trouble laughing at others misfortunes - unless, as someone said earlier, they really deserved it. Even then I can feel sorry for them if it goes too far. And it not like I don't have an apathetic streak. I can be insensitive and selfish at times which can lead me to say and do uncaring things.

 

[CrystalViolet]

I'm a cynic tried and true. It's a self protection thing. I'm only sun beams and rainbows on the inside.

 

[speculative]

Are any of you at times rather cynical? So for example, you laugh when someone does something embarassing...

Cynical? Nihilistic would be a more accurate term... I'll run into something at work that is just crazy incompetent that will prompt me to laugh inappropriately like someone with a monocle and a white persian who is planning to blow up the moon with a giant "laser."

So yes.

by the way everybody else seems to think that we're incapable of 'bad' thoughts, i'd say that they were highly misleaded :S

I'm surprised this hasn't been discussed here at central more actually; it's been discussed on globalchatter at times. "Cynical" is too light and bubbly a term to use in describing darkside INFPs...

 

[the state i am in]

You make enneagram 4 sound so baaaaaad

well isn't it?

Cynical? Nihilistic would be a more accurate term... I'll run into something at work that is just crazy incompetent that will prompt me to laugh inappropriately like someone with a monocle and a white persian who is planning to blow up the moon with a giant "laser."

So yes.

i have this category of things i like called "the opposite of pet peeves." the monocle is definitely on this list.

also, it is different, this infp cynicism. it is more nihilistic. it is not detached like T jokes and banter. it's more self-defeating and hopeless, bc the strings that connect the self to the world are still held fast. the whole thing starts sinking over the horizon, a very very dark and cold sunset.