[NF] I am good at writing, but suck at conversing

[Lexicon]

I have a similar problem.
Writing allows for a bit more reflection and internal organization than an on the spot, one-on-one conversation.
For example.. say there's a topic of discussion/argument. I could write an incredibly comprehensive persuasive essay on my position of the topic; covering many opposing perspectives [thus answering a variety of potential questions]. But if I were to be in an on-the-spot debate.. I'd quickly lose my train of thought, and well, just fail. I need that time, I guess. Writing offers it.

General discussions regarding a variety of topics or theories, I can typically throw myself into. The only time I have difficulty putting things into words, is when someone wants to discuss [requests], in-person, things of a personal nature regarding me. My feelings. That, I imagine, isn't so much attributed to type as it is to my own repressed issues.

But yeah. I relate.

 

[Serendipity]

Totally true! I always feel like such a dag when I cant say a simple idea coherently. I find when I talk with my INTP friend we can brainstorm easily and communicate effectively. Especially since we've been friends for so long that we can say some thing like 'Can you do that to the thing so this will happen?' and the other understands what the talker meant perfectly. I always wonder how other people hearing the conversation will react (Especially Ss)

I have a friend just like that and we just come out as really good friends and they either decide to;
A. Ignore us until we speak directly to third part.
B. Ask after every little word and when we try to explain, nobody gets it anyway.

 

[PeaceBaby]

I find sometimes the issue is more that we are worrying about what to say next than just trusting our brains & mouths to engage correctly at the appropriate moment.

Just listen to what the other person is saying, without that filter of "oh, what will I say next, this is so awkward, I'll mess this up etc etc."

Listen and respond. Let yourself speak as slowly or as quickly as you want. Practice, practice, practice! It will come more naturally to you!

 

[Quinlan]

At least you got the writing thing going for ya!

 

[Lacey]

^ Yeah, don't feel too bad, I'm bad at both.

 

[CzeCze]

Unfortunately I cannot go about handing around folded letters of paper containing my deepest thoughts (which by the way are humorously written and interesting to read) and such to random people I have yet to become close with.

why lord

why

If it makes you feel any better, this is quite common. I believe it has to do with introversion? And I'm not even kidding. A lot of great writers, thinkers, and even performers, are quite shy or even painfully awkward in public and when it comes to socializing with others.

Consider it a special challenge.

Does it take you longer in person to think of things to say? Maybe part of that is your own nervousness or discomfort? Relaxing goes a long way to finding and using your 'authentic' voice.

 

[heart]

Does it take you longer in person to think of things to say? Maybe part of that is your own nervousness or discomfort? Relaxing goes a long way to finding and using your 'authentic' voice.

For me, it's a question of energy. When I am feeling higher energy, words come easier, but if it's a down day, relaxing doesn't matter that much. I am less "afraid" of other people now than when younger, but the thing about not always being great with spoken communication (really around 25 I first became more cognizant about it being such an issue, because I was coming out of my self-imposed shell and pushing to commnicate more often with more people, before that I think being shyer and keeping to myself kept me from depleting energy that much,.)

It can happen even with someone I know well and feel comfortable around. It's got more to do with something internal in my own brain than anything else I think. Caffiene can help loosen my tongue (some time way too much!)with it but gives me the physical shakes and some anxiety issues so it's a toss up there.

 

[TaylorS]

Asperger's + dominant Ni + stuttering together makes speaking much more difficult then writing for me. My prosody is strange and words often seem to get "stuck in my throat" are are hard to "spit out". I tend to think in mental images and have trouble expressing them in spoken words.