[MBTI General] Touchiness

[briochick]

I want to know if many of the other INFP/Js are like this too. I don't like being touched by people I don't know. I can stand it but I am quite uncomfortable with it. Even those who I would consider pretty close friends I'm not hugely physically affectionate with. It's not that I'm not capable of it. Those people who have gotten into my heart (ie. my family, boyfriends-after-a-time, a select few girl friends) I am very physically affectionate with. I snuggle, hug, hand hold, sit upon, launch myself at. But, until that mysterious and very difficult to reach line has been crossed to someone I can "truly trust" I am not very physical. Even a hug is pretty awkward. This can also make things with guys kind of strained as even a guy touching my hand can end up a big deal, just because my body is my own and I hardly let anyone touch me. Is this normal for any of the rest of you?

 

[CrystalViolet]

Yes to all the questions.

 

[Skyward]

It all sounds like me.

 

[Phantonym]

+3

 

[Manimal]

well i really had to think hard to remember a situation where I've been touched by people I'm not very familiar with and I have decided that it really doesn't bother me at all. assuming its in a friendly manner.


i would like to add tho that i have an istj mother and she is extremely adverse to physical contact, sometimes even from people she is very close to.

 

[Unique]

Once an INFP knows you well they seem to really like touching/being touched

Don't invade their space when you haven't "got close" on that other level

Which is fine by me cause thats how I feel too, don't like random people or people I don't feel comfortable with touching me

Seems to be common in introverts or thinking types

 

[whimsical]

I'm like that too

 

[Sniffles]

I hate being touched.

 

[Tiltyred]

I love to touch and be touched. I can't remember it ever bothering me that someone touched me.

 

[Lacey]

I used to be like that.

I love hugs now. From pretty much anyone. I had to build myself up to that, though, and it took a pretty long time.

 

[Wiley45]

The description in your OP could have been mine. I'm exactly the same way.

 

[Gengar]

Depends on your level of introversion?

 

[simulatedworld]

INFs are weird

 

[Gengar]

INFs are weird

. . . which is why you love us

 

[briochick]

It's so nice to know I'm not the only one like this. In Korea they don't seem to have the "your body is yours" rule since it's very much a kind of hive-mind society. My students, my manager, the nurses at the doctor's office, strangers I've just met are always grabbing me and yanking me, and touching me. Even after a year I don't like it, though I've gotten pretty used to the kids.

INFs are weird

Ah, but that's what's best about us too.

 

[TaylorS]

I'm extremely sensitive to touch, and hate being poked and tickled (though I have no problem with hugging, meh, I'm a touchy-feely guy...), and always chalked it up to my Asperger's.

 

[Wiley45]

Weird is fun, usually. And way better than boring. At least that's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night ...

 

[Shelovesyoumaybe]

Weird is fun, usually. And way better than boring. At least that's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night ...

Hehe, same here. I tell myself that as well because I absolutely despise having to touch someone I don't know. I just clam up and it's extremely uncomfortable for me. Even embracing outside family is difficult for me - my grandmother calls me a "touch-me-not". On the flip side, if you ask anyone who's been in an relationship with me or anyone who's lived with me for a long period of time (close family especially), they'd tell you that I'm one of the most touchy-feely person they know. I even have been told to lay off on the hugs and snuggling because there was so much of it. I guess that's just part of the "all or nothing" thing that the INFPs carry.

 

[Kalach]

An INFP and I went to supper last night. We were okay sitting at the table. But the walking there and back... man, it was like dodgem cars with magic, invisible bumpers. Constant awkward alterations of gait and stride and step.

I blame inferior Se for me. My Se shouldn't be engaged unless the other three processes are engaged in the same operation. Feed me sensory information when I'm doing something else and there will be trouble.

 

[the state i am in]

i'm pretty much the same way at the op. i don't trust Se forms of expression to convey any sense of significance, unless there is significance. and why would i want gestures that are meaningless to me, cliched, etc.

but deep down i feel like the child amelie who's heart skips a beat when the possibility of being touched even by the cold sterile stethoscope is nearby. the desire might be real (primates!), but it also might be sublimated other things like itemized deductions on tax day, sum them alllll up and wrap them in a bowtied box.

i feel like somehow i've not yet disillusioned myself enough to realize that touch is just another domain for the empty gestures we all wear to convey lots of big nothings. and that authenticity has nothing to do with the form, but instead much more to do with some deep and mysterious essence that can never fully be grasped. a complexity that makes you trust it, makes you see into it, recognize its shape in the midst of the mushroom cloud.