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[MBTI General] ISFPs + INFPs = ??

Shelovesyoumaybe

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
84
MBTI Type
INFP
Okay so I'm sure this has been posted before, but I just couldn't find it.
I'm curious...has any INFP had an relationship with an ISFP before? Anyone have any advice, input or want to just ramble their thoughts about it? There's a special someone who I'm interested in and whom I was sure was something like INFJ, but he's proven to be ISFP. Someone on another forum told me ISFP + INFP = disaster..!?
here's what she said.

oh hon, yikes. isfp? of all types, youre interested in an isfp? god you are difficult haha, but, i think that it wont work. two introverts are not a good idea plus if hes S and your severely F, he probably wont get you very well, one of you will have to be the outgoing E and if neither of you want 2...what are you going to do?

So...
ISFP + INFP = ?!
Does it go kaboom or wabam!? :D
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I really doubt that it's a disaster, my relations with ISFPs have been great.

The only very apparent problem I can see is the communication barrier... it's very apparent here for me. It seems like we will get on the same level about something, but then we will go in a totally different direction with our initial understanding.

ISFPs are cool people. I don't see how a relationship with one would be bad if you got over the communication barrier.
 

Shelovesyoumaybe

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
84
MBTI Type
INFP
I really doubt that it's a disaster, my relations with ISFPs have been great.

The only very apparent problem I can see is the communication barrier... it's very apparent here for me. It seems like we will get on the same level about something, but then we will go in a totally different direction with our initial understanding.

ISFPs are cool people. I don't see how a relationship with one would be bad if you got over the communication barrier.

Really? That's a relief then. My friend got me thinking that I was doomed. :rolli:

Although I reminded her that any two people are capable of having a healthy relationship...usually.

Anyway, I agree. I've only met two ISFPs, but I've loved them both. They're cool, laid back and I just love their overall attitude. I hope that we might be able to get over the communication problem as soon as one presents itself. So far, the only problem has been that it appears that I am more of his emotional stability then he is mine - but that could be completely normal in a relationship, I don't know.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Remember to take things at a face value... An ISFP doesn't see any reason to say anything with some greater meaning behind it. If you find false meanings in what they say they will be easily frustrated with you, and won't understand most likely, or they will understand and that will add to the frustration.
 

maliafee

Active member
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
1,127
Remember to take things at a face value... An ISFP doesn't see any reason to say anything with some greater meaning behind it. If you find false meanings in what they say they will be easily frustrated with you, and won't understand most likely, or they will understand and that will add to the frustration.

This is good advice. We will say something (and think we're communicating fine) and then the other person might see deeper/hidden meaning and misunderstand. Of course, you should know when we're just joking, too... but that's something else entirely.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Of course, you should know when we're just joking, too... but that's something else entirely.

I wanted to add that, but yeah. It should be obvious when someone is joking. :tongue:
 
D

Dali

Guest
This is good advice. We will say something (and think we're communicating fine) and then the other person might see deeper/hidden meaning and misunderstand

Oh, you mean like when I told me co-worker a few hours ago that I wanted to go inside while looking at her thus making her giggle and blush. :doh:

I was referring to a cubicle.
 

CopyPaste

New member
Joined
Apr 14, 2009
Messages
28
MBTI Type
INFP
I dated an ISFP girl. Just note the past tense I used.

Haha, no she was cool. She loved being outdoors and beating me at various sports. She appeared laid-back but I can tell that she bottled up a lot inside. She could never make small decisions nor did she ever count herself worthy of certain compliments or pleasures which really frustrated me. I like girls who make some kind of outward attempt at my love, but she was just too passive.
 

maliafee

Active member
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
1,127
I dated an ISFP girl. Just note the past tense I used.

Haha, no she was cool. She loved being outdoors and beating me at various sports. She appeared laid-back but I can tell that she bottled up a lot inside. She could never make small decisions nor did she ever count herself worthy of certain compliments or pleasures which really frustrated me. I like girls who make some kind of outward attempt at my love, but she was just too passive.

Well, that's a hard thing, because with your type, you want a more aggressive girl likely, but our society rewards girls for being passive (classic aggressive male/passive female stereotype).

Also, as an ISFP, whenever I've TRIED to be the aggressor in a relationship it NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER works out. I hate that, but it's true. So maybe that's why...
 

Udog

Seriously Delirious
Joined
Aug 2, 2008
Messages
5,290
MBTI Type
INfp
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I would say that the plus is a shared idealism, internal passion that is expressed intensely, and a healthy balance when the ISFP ensures values are expressed in the present while the INFP makes sure the future and the deeper issues are cared for.

The catch: Both types share an indirect communication style, so don't express their needs in a clear and direct manner. They offer clues and breadcrumbs that hopefully the other person will pick up on.

This becomes a problem because one is an intuitive and the other is sensing. The nature and meaning of their clues will be different, and can easily be missed by the other.

Likewise, because of the different ways we express our love, both can be pouring their heart into the relationship, yet neither notices. Both partners end up not having their needs addressed, and neither partner will bring the issue to the surface, so resentment will just build until it explodes. By the time it explodes, it may be too late to fix the relationship.

All that doesn't mean it will fail - it's just the special challenge that the INFP / ISFP may need to address for it to work.
 
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