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[Fi] Fi-Insight into how others' emotional states?

SpaZZakaZZ

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I hate to bring this up, because it usually devolves into a very long discussion, but how would that differ from Fe? A person using Fe would still tend to feel the emotions of another person as their own, wouldn't they? How else would a person experience others' emotions?


Both Fe and Fi are good at picking up other people's feelings and can be very insightful although not 100% accurate.
Speaking from a dominant Fi perspective I can quite easily pick up people's moods, feelings and motivations. I care about what they are feeling and can imagine myself feeling the same thing. In that way I am affected by their emotions. By easily but consciously putting myself in their place, even if their circumstances or experiences are very different from my own. I am still separate and emotionally autonomous though, I'm not lost in their feelings.
Dominant Fe seems to blur the lines. They aren't imagining themselves in the person's place, they seem to really feel it as their own. I've heard comments from Fe people that they sometimes don't know what they want or feel themselves. They seem to live for others, but in a good way. A genuine way. They aren't self-pitying martyrs, they genuinely care for people, naturally put them first and feel satisfied by it.
An ENFJ or ESFJ could probably explain it better.
And Fe and Fi probably feel different when it's an auxiliary function.
 

Poki

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I am figuring out my Fi and it is selfish. It is basically what I want. This is controlled by by my value system of hurting others or Fe. Its like a tug of war sometimes.
 

sculpting

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I am figuring out my Fi and it is selfish. It is basically what I want. This is controlled by by my value system of hurting others or Fe. Its like a tug of war sometimes.

Hi Poki!!!!

What I notice in my ex and his mom-both ISTPs is that they have little bitty Fes. As they have gotten older the Fe starts to play a bigger role and become a bit OCD like and controlling of others.

For instance my husband never wanted me to go out but would use the excuse that he was worried about me, not that he was controlling me.

My mom-in-law has reached a very OCD level with respect to how things "should be" and tells me all the time that I dont dress my kids quite right, or cut thier hair, or clean or organize the closet, or se the correct cleaning supplies. It's not like an SJ, but cloaked with this very feely tone of caring... Oh, silly Tina, you just need to....fill in the blank with whatever social convention i messed up on this time.

she really does love me but it makes my eyeballs bulge a bit.

My Fi is toattly selfish and disrespectful at times, so it is neat to watch it respond now that I am paying attention.
 

Poki

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What up happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Fe is very strong, extremely strong, but it is also very focused. Only my family and a few close people ever see my Fe. I dont control anyone, that is not anywhere in my nature and has never been. Sometimes I wish my wife would not insist on me going with her to some places. Its usually places that are more outgoing, I actually like it when she goes out with the girls.

Your mother-in-law thing reminds me of everyone loves raymonds mom:)

My Fi pops up when I am by myself and I can just do whatever I want. Thats why I dont mind being left at home. Gives my Fi some time of its own to just do whatever it wants.
 

sculpting

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What up happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Fe is very strong, extremely strong, but it is also very focused. Only my family and a few close people ever see my Fe. I dont control anyone, that is not anywhere in my nature and has never been. Sometimes I wish my wife would not insist on me going with her to some places. Its usually places that are more outgoing, I actually like it when she goes out with the girls.

Your mother-in-law thing reminds me of everyone loves raymonds mom:)

My Fi pops up when I am by myself and I can just do whatever I want. Thats why I dont mind being left at home. Gives my Fi some time of its own to just do whatever it wants.



Didnt you say your wife was an enfj? Maybe she already has so much Fe that yours pales in comparison!! :)
 

Poki

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Didnt you say your wife was an enfj? Maybe she already has so much Fe that yours pales in comparison!! :)

My Fe is different than hers because I spend more time in Ti and Se. I am really good at helping people indirectly. If someone enjoys doing things for others, then by helping them you may take away some of there enjoyment, but if you take over some of there other tasks and free up there time then they can devote more time to what they enjoy. To do this you really have to know the person and understand them. It lets you find the best way to help without taking away any enjoyment.
 

Poki

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Not meaning to redirect this thread, but I had put in a post that we show our love with our fourth function. Now that I said that I can see why my wife once said that she needs me to want something. If we show our love with our fourth then all 4 functions are put to use so when my wife does this for me she uses Fe just like I do, which is meant to allow the other person to do what they like. That might be one of the conflicts between ENFJ/ISTP. We both have a weak or subconcious Fi so neither of us allows the other to use Fe in the way it was meant to be used in combination with Ti,Se,Ni. She has more Fi than me since hers is in her fifth function and mine in eighth so I end up being her support while She does what she is good at which is helping others. But what we are good at doesnt make us happy, what are good at is what we use to make others happy, or to show our love(this is just a guess). What made me think of this is that the tides just turned and she is doing what I did for her, which is support me. I aksed her the other day what she is doing to show love(just as a question for understanding, not questioning that she is doing anything) and everything she said was for support and what I used to do. I used to get up early even on my off days to help get things ready in the morning, now she is doing it for me. Basically when we are apart we each have our own lives and we can help the other, but together we both clash trying to support each other letting each other take care of their own Fi. The order comes into play a little more I think in the dynamics, but I dont have the time to try an figure that out yet.

Thanks so much Happy, you have been so much help. I am good at understanding the dynamics, but only after it has already happened. I guess thats what the strength of Ti-Se is.
 

sculpting

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Not meaning to redirect this thread, but I had put in a post that we show our love with our fourth function.

Thanks so much Happy, you have been so much help. I am good at understanding the dynamics, but only after it has already happened. I guess thats what the strength of Ti-Se is.

:hug:

Hm, my fourth I guess would be Si. I doidnt think I ever used it, but i do, just in this really off niave way. When I remember the sand at the beach, I dont actally remember the real sand, I remember the ideal version of what sand should feel like (??). I dont know how that would fit into love...

wow, I just reread most of your post. So you guys are so busy taking care of each other that you get in the way of trying to take care of each other. :cheese: That is way sweet and wonderful.

I relate a little as Fi is my motivation. Fi wants me to make others happy (even if it hurts them a little in the process). If Fi is not driving things, it can be hard for me to keep moving forward. But when I am around other Fis I get a little nutty as they are so busy trying to keep me and everyone else happy, that we are not always so productive.
 

Poki

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:hug:

Hm, my fourth I guess would be Si. I doidnt think I ever used it, but i do, just in this really off niave way. When I remember the sand at the beach, I dont actally remember the real sand, I remember the ideal version of what sand should feel like (??). I dont know how that would fit into love...

wow, I just reread most of your post. So you guys are so busy taking care of each other that you get in the way of trying to take care of each other. :cheese: That is way sweet and wonderful.

I relate a little as Fi is my motivation. Fi wants me to make others happy (even if it hurts them a little in the process). If Fi is not driving things, it can be hard for me to keep moving forward. But when I am around other Fis I get a little nutty as they are so busy trying to keep me and everyone else happy, that we are not always so productive.

I think Si is the detail of how to get what you want. Lets say you really like someone and you want to have the feeling of being wanted. You piece together the detail to setup the opportunity for them to respond, to provide the feeling your looking for. Its an unselfish way to try to get what you want. Look at ISTJ and there dominant is Si. So they are happiest planning, scheduling which is the detail of things. This is what makes them happy and this is supported through Te or talking to people. When this is tied through all functions to the fourth Ne is that Fi backs up Ne so they share with you what they like or what makes them feel a certain way and relate it to what they think you might like or need. The difference between ENFP and ISTJ is that ENFP will setup something to provide the opportunity, but the P nature does not want to force it. While ISTJ takes control to setup something to share what he likes that he thinks you will like. I may be way off base, but thats what it seems like to me from what I have seen.

I do notice instances where when I am more confident or more desperate I become more ISTJ and lack of confidence or anxiety pushes me more into ISTP.
 

Poki

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Fi wants me to make others happy (even if it hurts them a little in the process). If Fi is not driving things, it can be hard for me to keep moving forward. But when I am around other Fis I get a little nutty as they are so busy trying to keep me and everyone else happy, that we are not always so productive.

Fi wants to be happy, not make others happy, Its Fe that keeps you grounded into making others happy. When you combine Fi with Fe you get the best of both worlds. Its when what you do makes others happy in the process. Your Fi will drive you to setup something while your Fe is what keeps you from turning it around to be selfish. As you get hurt your Fe for that person will lessen and you will be more Fi, As someone starts to take care of your Fi you can show more Fe. Our personality is where in that process you are in everyday life. Extraverted Fi types might be more independent which allows them to be more Fi without having to worry as much about Fe. Intraverted Fe types are more Fi because of introversion and they have less people to use Fe on. Just thoughts.
 
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