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[NF] NFs: What do you admire in others?

Sponge

New member
Joined
Apr 18, 2009
Messages
62
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5w4
Destructive, hurtful people who don't want to change and help themselves.

People who distract me, I hate, and find hard to tolerate, but that's more of a fault of my own when I'm in an irritable mood...

Actually, they're two pet peeves of mine. I don't hate people who distract me, but it sends me into irritable rages more often than anything else, which can lead to a lot of misunderstandings.

But people who constantly moan about their lives, don't listen to any advice, and do not take any action to change their lives for the better.. I actively avoid them and cannot stand them. I know they have self esteem-related problems, but often their behaviour translates into self-destructive tendencies and a fake form of superiority (I.e they don't listen to the opinions of anyone else and blame those around them for 'making' them feel bad) which alienates everyone around them. Deeeeeep breath :shock:
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I admire (in friends):

Confidence
Especially in the areas that I'm lacking. It's nice to know that someone is quite capable and willing to deal with situations that I have less skills in, without them having a need to constantly show it off

Integrity
Have some idea of what you stand for. Doesn't have to match my ideals (though it is handy), but at least have some personality and stand up for what you believe.

Tolerance
This is one of the things I find a must. I try my best to accept you for who you are, and I kinda expect the same from you. I'm allergic to people who feel they have the right to shove their own ways down someone else's throat

Warmth
I'm not asking you to ooze it, but some warmth and kindness is comforting and really smoothens out human relations, imo, though often I've found that 'cold' people tend to be very warm once they trust you :)

Reliability

It's nice to know who your friends are and that they will in fact be there for you when you need them and vice versa.

Calmness

Especially when in a 'crisis'-situation. It's something I can immensely appreciate in someone and goes hand in hand with the confidence thing.

Intelligence

I love learning new stuff, and I love being stimulated. Intelligence is like a magnet to me. I love people who are smarter than me :blush:

Passion

I love people who know what they want and go all out to get it (provided they don't harm anyone on the way)

Charisma

Can't explain this...just really admire it in people who have it.







What I strongly dislike:

Hypocricy

I cannot stand people who blame others for flaws they have themselves in spades. Really cannot. Or who point the finger at someone else when doing something that disadvantages them somewhat, while they're doing the same to someone else or did the same to that same person. I wanna smack their head against a wall. And I realize we all are hypocrites at some point or another, but I try my very best to avoid being one at all times.

Liars

Stop insulting my intelligence and wasting my time. Really.

Judging others

Hyper-allergic to this one. Let he who casts the first stone, etc. You are not perfect either. Stop expecting it from other people.

Deliberately causing others harm

Seriously, wtf. Again, do onto others as you would have them do onto you. And keep in mind that we're not all the same people and some may not have the tolerance for 'harm' that you do, so don't even go there. Aka, don't blame it on the victim coz they're 'oversensitive'.

Nagging/Complaining

I can totally tolerate people venting and even complaining for a while. But it has to be temporary. As for nagging: if you keep nagging at me to do something, I will make it a point never to do it for you, ever. Ask me normally and stop finding it utterly normal that I do things for you. Appreciation is key.

If you need to vent about something to organize your thoughts, I am all for that, and I will gladly help you. But at some point, you have to either shut up about it, or do something about it. You cannot keep whining forever. And this is especially true if we've been over the situation multiple times and you are unwilling to accept it for what it is. Acceptance is the only way you'll move forward with your life and if you are truly unable to do so, learn to work around it. I don't mind you complaining and whining however, as long as you are making progress. Then you can take a long as you want. But getting stuck in circles will do no one any good.
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I admire honesty. Don't care about anything else.
 

nanook

a scream in a vortex
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Messages
1,361
above all original modesty.

if you can not see, that this live creates you, not the other way round, then you don't have my trust.

i am totally okay with humorous displays of ego, bragging, whatever.... i am also the last one who would preach that people are all the same - they are not - or that they should present themselves as if they were. i also know that - while some people are their own worst enemies, others can function as unity. that's not the point. you just need to have the ability to switch your perspectives from ego to causality.
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
Joined
Dec 22, 2008
Messages
2,910
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
NFs! :wubbie:

Awesome lists guys! Could not put it better myself.
 

ladypinkington

Rubber Nipple Salesperson
Joined
Jul 19, 2007
Messages
1,126
MBTI Type
INFJ
Qualities I admire-
Flair and Personality
Being strong enough to be vulnerable- trust
Making me think
Bringing out the best in others
Being Objective
Honesty- EVEN IF IT HURTS
Good Active Humor
Openness
Grace and kindness
Joy of Life
Insightfulness
Good Communication Skills- I watch in awe and desire that so much and really admire people who have that.

I don't admire
being too serious
being not easily amused
being too grown up that you become a pirate,lol.
not meaning what you say-
empty complimenting
not investing in quality time with loved ones
not liking dogs
 

Sentura

Phoenix Incarnate
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
750
MBTI Type
ENXP
Enneagram
1w9
i don't consider people friends in general; they're associates mostly. i'm not loyal because i consider objectivity a more integral part of myself, and try to at all times remain neutral. i keep very few people close. those that are, are my equals in mental prowess.

i value:
honesty (brutally honest myself)
integrity
individualism
inner harmony
willingness to learn
passion/drive
intelligence

people that piss me off are often naysayers, by-the-book people or people who will disregard your opinion based on how much they know about something and not how much is known in general. better knowing people who often also turn out to be wrong or hypocritical. what ticks me off the worst, however, is injustice. it makes me want to maim and torture those responsible.

all that said, i naively and intuitively believe in the good of each and every person, so i will always greet new people with a smile and adapt to the wavelength their personality is at.
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Just out of curiosity... what qualities do you NFs admire and or respect in others?

Many things, but what leaps to mind first is autonomy and the courage or fortitude it requires when it is subjectively {Big Picture} good, but {Small Picture} bad.

What qualities do you aspire to be?

Many, but I'll stick to one for the sake of 2 cent discussion: more autonomous because I find that I am constantly compromising my inherent autonomy for the benefit of the people around me. I suspect this is an INFJ conflict given NiFeTi.

Also, what do you NOT respect? What qualities do you have trouble tolerating?

The inflexibility in being autonomous when it is subjectively bad. Being influenced by morality or responsive to a social more has its advantages.

Also, I__Js in general have a tendency to behave as if they were islands unto themselves, which is somewhat true, but like it or not we/they are part of an archipelago and our positions produce consequence among our neighbors, therefore ourselves.[<---Standard INFJ reasoning/ISFJ reality?]
 

WieldingTheSword

New member
Joined
Dec 28, 2008
Messages
79
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
Lots of NF's so far have said honesty, and I think that's true, but I'll use two other words instead: authenticity and vulnerability. I want people who are real and are willing to expose themselves. I appreciate genuine friendships that go deep.

I also value... well... other NF's I guess, or at least people who have that same kind of broad, emotional passion.
 

TaylorS

Aspie Idealist
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
365
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
972
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Curiosity
Honesty
Kindness
Empathy
Skepticism towards "Conventional Wisdom"
Tolerance
 
R

Riva

Guest
qualities I admire:

loyalty (including loyalty to personal values & moral stances. not just towards people)
open mindedness
honesty
uniqueness
intelligence
understanding
patience
kindness

things I do not admire:

disrespectful people
hypocrites
negativity
people that judge others a lot
impatience
short tempered people

Things I don't admire?
Fakeness
Shallowness
Pretentiousness
Condescending mentalities

Traits I highly admire?
Honesty
Integrity
Humbleness
A sense of neutrality

Fun loving individuals who know how to enjoy life & work ethically at the same time- those who put in forth effort and approach things with heart.

Kindness
Open-mindedness
A sense of innocence
Intelligence
Funny- knows how to laugh

Well-roundedness.

Overall, I like people who are 'real' with themselves, with who they are. It shows through their actions, thoughts, intentions..
(Edit: To sum it up? I ADMIRE self-actualized individuals.)

I tend to admire those characteristics I think I dont have them myself:
- Decisiveness
- Clear-thinking
- Being organized
- Being exceptionally intelligent (Like "L" and Light in Death Note lol)
- Being thoughtful and understanding
- Adamant

Those characteristics that I tend not to admire:
- Close-mindedness
- Being too emotional yet highly manipulative at the same time
- Conformism

check check check and check i have all the qualities that you desire to see in others.
 

SpaZZakaZZ

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2009
Messages
29
MBTI Type
INFP
Awesome topic:yes:

Integrity, even if I don't agree with a persons values, I can respect that they follow them.
Kindness, benevolence
Individuality, following your own path.
Joy, enthusiasm.
Tolerance and respect.
A questioning mind.
Compassion, forgiveness, mercy
Generosity
Creativity
Courage
Strangely attracted to very sensual, physical people. SPs?
People who show you themselves without filtering. Honesty of personality?
Lack of guile or malice



I cannot tolerate cruelty or degradation. Or people who use their power to intimidate, abuse, or to get their own way.
Selfishness, people who really don't care how their actions affect the world



I am irritated by closed minds
A lack of questioning of authority, morality, convention, and the status quo
A lack of beliefs or opinions
An "always right" attitude
Insincerity
"Too nice" people
An obsession with manners and politeness
 

Shelovesyoumaybe

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
84
MBTI Type
INFP
Lots of NF's so far have said honesty, and I think that's true, but I'll use two other words instead: authenticity and vulnerability. I want people who are real and are willing to expose themselves. I appreciate genuine friendships that go deep.

I also value... well... other NF's I guess, or at least people who have that same kind of broad, emotional passion.

I agree completely. Obviously, I admire most of the other traits others have posted as well.

What I can't stand and will NOT tolerate is plain and simple:
Ignorance.
That goes hand in hand with a lot of other unflattering and annoying traits/tendencies. Such as close mindedness, etc.
 

Red Memories

Haunted Echoes
Joined
Jun 3, 2017
Messages
6,315
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
215
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I admire honesty, creativity, passion, loyalty, compassion, and respect. I really dislike insensitivity, lack of drive or ambition, inguineness, and those who just do things because everyone else is doing it.
 
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