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[MBTI General] infp & estp... does it work?

tolzart

New member
Joined
Aug 26, 2007
Messages
3
MBTI Type
INFP
Any infp have relationship experience with an estp? Naturally, I've tended toward introverted and feeling types. This would be my first leap into the extroverted and thinking realm.

We're so much alike (equally passionate, live for witty conversations, etc.) and yet SO different (I'm morally anal and am non-confrontational. he isn't. enough said).

Normally, I don't think so much about getting into relationships, but this one is just SO different for me. This leap just scares me because of his tendency to "live in the moment." I don't doubt his sincerity NOW, but he tends to jump around when things get boring or too complicated. of which I am both.:rolleyes:

Anyway, thanks in advance!:)
 

anii

homo-loving sonovagun
Joined
Jul 9, 2007
Messages
901
MBTI Type
infp
Enneagram
9
No. No no no!

Back away... slowly...
 

scantilyclad

almost nekkid
Joined
Jul 31, 2007
Messages
2,106
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
No. No no no!

Back away... slowly...

agreed!


i mean, i'm sure it could work, but it would take a lot of work from both of you, and most likely you will put in a lot more into the relationship than he will, and it won't end well.

I dated an ESTP for 8 months. it was good at first, and then we started to drive each other crazy. He was sort of controlling and i put a lot into trying to make the relationship work, and he just didn't.

so please be careful if you try to enter into this relationship. :yes:
 

betterthandead

New member
Joined
Oct 6, 2007
Messages
35
MBTI Type
ENFP
Well, given the fact that INFPs are easy to manipulate it would work out quite well for the ESTP. You see, Feeler type Women. It's like this, you gotta be submissive and passive. Now if you're listening to Thinker type women you're thinking as a Feminists which most Thinker type women are. Look at their faces, squarish and arrogant looking. Thinker type women. Be a feely type of women and use your feminine powers to persuade the Aggressive ESTP to your ways. Play stupid or being sly , feely women ways. Masculine Thinker male types like that. I like that.
 

surgery

New member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
257
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
Four
My older brother is an ESTP, and growing up with him has been any thing but easy. The biggest problems between us are probably his tendency to try and manipulate me, and my need for privacy.
If you continue with this relationship, watch out for him trying to change your opinion to match his, and him trying to dump some of his responsibilities onto you.
I also agree with betterthandead -- INFPs are generally passive, while ESTP can be very aggressive. My brother and I don't usually see eye-to-eye on many situations. So if you wish to pursue him, be prepared for a heavy amount of arguing.
Then again, I'm speaking in terms of fraternal relationship vs. a romantic relationship (a field in which I have no experience.)
 

INTJMom

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2007
Messages
5,413
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Any infp have relationship experience with an estp? Naturally, I've tended toward introverted and feeling types. This would be my first leap into the extroverted and thinking realm.

We're so much alike (equally passionate, live for witty conversations, etc.) and yet SO different (I'm morally anal and am non-confrontational. he isn't. enough said).

Normally, I don't think so much about getting into relationships, but this one is just SO different for me. This leap just scares me because of his tendency to "live in the moment." I don't doubt his sincerity NOW, but he tends to jump around when things get boring or too complicated. of which I am both.:rolleyes:

Anyway, thanks in advance!:)

No. No no no!

Back away... slowly...
tee-hee

Well, you haven't received very favorable responses, have you.
My sister is an INFP and is happily married to an ISTJ.
I have seen several of this combination, and it seems to work well.
INFPs are sometimes attracted to INTPs.
My sister dated a few INTPs, but it never worked out long-term for her.

I'm an INTJ and when I tell people I'm happily married to an ISTP, they can't believe it.
In theory, we aren't supposed to get along that great.
The bottom line is this "type stuff" only goes so far.
It can't predict the future, but it can help you get along better today.
Perhaps you will learn many important things from this ESTP (including how to be a little more assertive?) even if you only stay together for a short time.
Enjoy your friendship while you can.
 

Schizm

New member
Joined
Sep 10, 2007
Messages
134
MBTI Type
INTP
Do it. The pain in the ass will be worth it. Looking back you can say, "what the hell was I thinking?" Those are always the best times anyway. :)
 

Vicki

New member
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
73
MBTI Type
????
what the does manipulating mean exactly? give me an example..
 

Wolf

only bites when provoked
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
2,127
MBTI Type
INTJ
ESTPs are stereotypical conmen and exploit everyone they come in contact with. My father is an ESTP, so I am intimately-familiar with how they work. I have no clue how my mother endures it, except that she's a total pushover.
 

NocturnalSun

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2007
Messages
36
MBTI Type
INTP
An ESTP is the true opposite of the INFP

Se Ti Fe Ni | Te Si Ne Fi -- ESTP
Fi Ne Si Te | Ni Fe Ti Se -- INFP

It seems like there would be necessary issues.
 

Entropy

New member
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
58
MBTI Type
INTP
In my personal experience, I've witnessed an INFP totally bulldozed by an ESTP.
Sure, it could work out. It would just take a special pair to be able to put up with each other's tendencies.
 

infp<3estp

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
2
the only letters that matter are L-O-V-E

That old concept and expression "opposites attract" has been batted around for centuries. And in fact, it's very true when it comes to love relationships. Through our research, we have noted that people are usually attracted to their opposite on the Extraversion/Introversion and Judging/Perceiving scales. We are naturally attracted to individuals who are different from ourselves - and therefore somewhat exciting. But it's not just the exciting differences which attract us to our opposites, it is also a natural quest for completion. We naturally are drawn towards individuals who have strengths which we are missing. When two opposites function as a couple, they become a more well-rounded, functioning unit. There is also the theory that our natural attraction to our opposites is a subconscious way of forcing us to deal with the weaker aspects of our own nature. While we are highly attracted to our opposites, two opposites involved in an intimate relationship have significant issues and communication barriers to overcome. So in a sense, our attraction to the opposite personality can be seen as our subconscious minds driving us towards becoming a more complete individual, by causing us to face the areas in life which are most difficult to us. :heart:
 

infp<3estp

New member
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
2
ESTPs are stereotypical conmen and exploit everyone they come in contact with. My father is an ESTP, so I am intimately-familiar with how they work. I have no clue how my mother endures it, except that she's a total pushover.

That old concept and expression "opposites attract" has been batted around for centuries. And in fact, it's very true when it comes to love relationships. Through our research, we have noted that people are usually attracted to their opposite on the Extraversion/Introversion and Judging/Perceiving scales. We are naturally attracted to individuals who are different from ourselves - and therefore somewhat exciting. But it's not just the exciting differences which attract us to our opposites, it is also a natural quest for completion. We naturally are drawn towards individuals who have strengths which we are missing. When two opposites function as a couple, they become a more well-rounded, functioning unit. There is also the theory that our natural attraction to our opposites is a subconscious way of forcing us to deal with the weaker aspects of our own nature. While we are highly attracted to our opposites, two opposites involved in an intimate relationship have significant issues and communication barriers to overcome. So in a sense, our attraction to the opposite personality can be seen as our subconscious minds driving us towards becoming a more complete individual, by causing us to face the areas in life which are most difficult to us.

The same cannot be said for other kinds of relationships. When it comes to work colleagues, or friends, we are not especially interested in dealing with people who are very unlike ourselves. We are most comfortable with those who have similar interests and perspectives, and we do not show a lot of motivation or patience for dealing with our opposites.
 

Sandy

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2007
Messages
552
MBTI Type
INFP
I thought an ESTJ was the opposite of an INFP.

Anyway, I would like to know what everyone's thoughts are about an INFP (me) and an INTP. I did hear from INTJMom say that her INFP sister dated unsuccessfully with an INTP man, and she ended up successfully marrying an ISTJ man.

I dated an ISTJ for 9 years, and he wore me out mentally. I think we both wore each other out. We got along famously and were wildly attracted to each other, however there were just some issues that I couldn't overcome, and he couldn't figure out how to make things better. *sigh* Oh well...

Are there any other insights?
 

JivinJeffJones

New member
Joined
Apr 25, 2007
Messages
3,702
MBTI Type
INFP
I thought an ESTJ was the opposite of an INFP.

I think what he meant by that is that ESTPs and INFPs both value and use least what the other values and uses most.

Anyway, I would like to know what everyone's thoughts are about an INFP (me) and an INTP. I did hear from INTJMom say that her INFP sister dated unsuccessfully with an INTP man, and she ended up successfully marrying an ISTJ man.

I have several good INTP friends, and I find that I have far greater intellectual affinity with them than with any other non-INFP type. When it comes to talking about ideas, they are fantastic. They are also low-maintenance, amenable to spontaneity, and have their own thing going on (which is important for INFPs, who hate the responsibility of micro-managing other people's entertainment and general emotional health).

I've never been in a relationship with one, so I don't know what that's like. From what I've seen of their relationships (yes, they do have them), they tend to make great mates once they get over their initial instabilities and their bewilderment in dealing with their emotions and those of another person. The only thing I can see going wrong with a mature INFP/INTP pairing would be that neither type are particularly good at initiating things. Neither type are especially bothered by this lack, however, so it's no big deal.

Certainly it's a more constructive pairing imo than INFP/ISTJ, which seems to rely heavily on mutual misunderstanding and misconceived condescension.
 

Blackwater

New member
Joined
May 29, 2007
Messages
454
MBTI Type
ERTP
theoretically no. but personality type is a construct.

you can make it work but both of you will have to be bent on making it work
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
Socionics pegs it as the most compatible relationship for both sides. Of course, the possibility of one of the two (in most instances, the ESTP) being an asshole changes the real outcome of the pairing.
 

prplchknz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2007
Messages
34,397
MBTI Type
yupp
My brother's an ESTP we get along alright, but we live on other sides of the country and probably talk and see each other twice a year. growing up we did not get along.
 

Sandy

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2007
Messages
552
MBTI Type
INFP
I think what he meant by that is that ESTPs and INFPs both value and use least what the other values and uses most.
Thanks for clearing that up for me!

Certainly it's a more constructive pairing imo than INFP/ISTJ, which seems to rely heavily on mutual misunderstanding and misconceived condescension.
Tell me about it. (been there/done that) :steam:
 

hotmale

New member
Joined
Oct 12, 2007
Messages
232
MBTI Type
ESTJ
An ESTP is the true opposite of the INFP

Se Ti Fe Ni | Te Si Ne Fi -- ESTP
Fi Ne Si Te | Ni Fe Ti Se -- INFP

It seems like there would be necessary issues.

Actually, I think the true opposite of the INFPs are ENFJs. I have never seen them get along.
 
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