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[INFJ] How to spot an INFJ?

Apollanaut

Senior Mugwump
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-Usually quite thin.
-Usually dress... hard to explain. An element of reserve there, but subtle drama, too. They are very good at mixing black with other colors, but not a lot of color usually.
-When they smile for pictures sometimes their eyes remain relaxed, which can make their smile look phony (even though it probably isn't fake).
-They can seem "off-limits" from afar, but once you get to know them, you won't find a better or more caring listener.
-Dry sense of humor, sometimes making fun of others without them being aware of it, subtle puns not uncommon.

These are true for me. I wear black a lot (today I'm wearing black jeans and a black patterned shirt), though I also like to mix black with bright colours.

Black is the new black.
 

entropie

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Ya, just mention once "You always wear black" and you gonna see bright colors the next day :D

No time to waste ;)
 

Skyward

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So true. I often feel like I can only truly be myself when I am on my own. Around other people automatically the Fe kicks in, I adjust myself to them and sometimes find it hard to draw the line (so if I do it tends to be pretty abrupt). It's not like I am pretending to be someone I am not or like I am denying my own needs, it's just that the parts of my character that are necessary to relate to this person at that given moment come to the surface.

The more I trust someone the more I will show them other parts of my personality. I think I would want to marry the person with whom I can truly be myself, where I don't feel like I have to push certain parts of my character to the back because they don't understand them.

This makes a lot of sense. I can tell when I'm molding my personality to the person I'm with. I tend to be a lot more random and crazy with my ENFP or ISFP friend around, or a lot more idea-building with my INTP friend.

For me, being myself, as far as I know, is impossible around other people unless they were also INFJs. We probably would cause a feedback loop on our Fe so it short circuits and the true personality flows through. Though that's a hodgepodge of theory right there. :D

I am the same to some degree. Very conflict-avoidant. I can tell a stranger or an acquaintance to PLEASE stop doing something but the closer someone is to me (and the more F they are, Ts are easier to deal with) the more I shy away from confronting them.

However I have also realized that there is a good side to that. You always meet a person twice in your life (as we say in German) and sometimes it is helpful if you haven't pissed them off in the past (by having a fight with them) but they instead remember you as a peaceful and nice person. If you are someone who strives for harmony you will have less (relationship) bridges to mend.

I am the same way too, but when I'm in a bad mood I can be as bad as an angry badger.


Ive been thinking, INFJs seem to all have a certain level of sophistication that permeates their personality and countenance. An INFJ girl I know would fit perfectly on a Broadway stage, while I just kind of pull off the 'casual cool nerd' look. Maybe it isn't sophistication, rather than an intuitive harmony between our personality and how we express it in clothing and passive body language? Hmmmmm...
 

Thursday

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I was working with an older guy who always thought I was rich
?
 

AphroditeGoneAwry

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so funny about the black. i like to wear tanks and yoga pants pretty much every day, cuz i like to be comfortable but not frumpy. usually black.....i'm sorta grungy but clean enough. and my nose DOES turn up on the tip....weird. and if i'm not looking down, i have a downright scary, stern and vacant stare to my face, which is why i usually look away in pics....haha. oh, and i'm a super diligant momma, and am too self-sacrificing when it comes to my kids, but i am very stern and sharp with them as well.......i don't mince words either......haha.
 

cascadeco

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Ive been thinking, INFJs seem to all have a certain level of sophistication that permeates their personality and countenance. An INFJ girl I know would fit perfectly on a Broadway stage, while I just kind of pull off the 'casual cool nerd' look. Maybe it isn't sophistication, rather than an intuitive harmony between our personality and how we express it in clothing and passive body language? Hmmmmm...

I would agree with this. I have had others describe me as 'poised' and always well put together (even when casual) and I'd say the same of my INFJ friends. I don't know that it's the clothes so much as the way we carry and present ourselves to others. 'Sophisticated' is probably an accurate word, although it could easily be misinterpreted by others as stand-offish/goody-two-shoes (well, sometimes that might be the case! ;)) or snobby.
 

Lightyear

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Hmm... I almost never wear black. I like instead strong, clear colours like blues or reds.
 

Tiltyred

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I would agree with this. I have had others describe me as 'poised' and always well put together (even when casual) and I'd say the same of my INFJ friends. I don't know that it's the clothes so much as the way we carry and present ourselves to others. 'Sophisticated' is probably an accurate word, although it could easily be misinterpreted by others as stand-offish/goody-two-shoes (well, sometimes that might be the case! ;)) or snobby.

I get "poised," too. And "casually elegant."
 

Skyward

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I would agree with this. I have had others describe me as 'poised' and always well put together (even when casual) and I'd say the same of my INFJ friends. I don't know that it's the clothes so much as the way we carry and present ourselves to others. 'Sophisticated' is probably an accurate word, although it could easily be misinterpreted by others as stand-offish/goody-two-shoes (well, sometimes that might be the case! ;)) or snobby.

Most people don't understand the concept of elegance or sophistication outside of billionaire parties.

Hmm... I almost never wear black. I like instead strong, clear colours like blues or reds.

I think that's why black is fairly popular. It's probably the easiest color to pull off, it's always clear, and it matches with everything. Not to mention it's low key and doesn't get too much attention.

The INFJ I know wears a lot of earthy colors. Kinda 40s retro colors.
 

karenk

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I've heard so many times, "Why do you always wear black?" I don't think I wear much black. It seems people see it twice and think it's too much already.
 
P

Phantonym

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Hmm... I almost never wear black. I like instead strong, clear colours like blues or reds.

I like strong clear colours too. Blue is my absolute fave. The kind of dark blue you almost mistake for black :).

How about prints and patterns?

I'm not too keen on floral print. Not on clothes nor in interior textiles.
I also don't like to wear T-shirts with pictures or prints on them. Clear color is the best.

I can say about myself that I'm more of a comfort seeker when it comes to clothing. As long as it's comfortable and looks good in my mind, I don't care what others think about it.
 

BlackCat

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So you people really think INFJs dress a certain way, or have certain physical traits? Or are you just having fun in here.
 

BlackCat

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I know some INFJs, they all dress differently and have different physical qualities.

INFJ one (male)-
Medium height (5'7)
Skinny
Brown Hair
Dresses like a skater, has a skater haircut (it's not "weird")
Has a large jawbone (which is pretty random)

INFJ two (female)-
Way too short (4'9)
Overweight to where she is unattractive
Dirty Blonde hair, fairly short (enough to put into a ponytail)
Dresses in "goth" stuff
Has a normal ponytail (as in, not "weird)

INFJ three (female)-
Average height (5'6)
Average looking body (not too skinny, not too fat)
Black Hair halfway down her back
Has a normal haircut, usually in a ponytail
Dresses in random things, she does her shopping at Wal-Mart and at thrift stores

INFJ four (female)-
Pretty short (5'3 about)
Very skinny, looks anorexic (and may be)
Light brown hair halfway down her back
Usually doesn't put her hair up
Dresses like a typical high school prep

INFJ five (female)-
Average height (looks to be 5'6)
Average body size (not too fat, not too skinny)
Brown hair that goes all the way down her back
Doesn't usually put it up
Dresses with clothes from thrift stores, Wal-Mart

I see absolutely no recurring physical qualities. These people also vary in how attractive they are, what their mannerisms are, and basically everything. I know 2 of these people from the internet. The only similarities I see within them are that they are all INFJs.

The only trait I notice about Ni people is that they seem to have a deep look in their eyes, and that's about it.

EDIT: By mannerisms and "everything" I meant in a physical way.
 

cascadeco

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Blackcat - I totally agree with you that clothing, hair, and physical characteristics are silly ways to type people and know whether someone is one type or another. I think people just started talking about clothing, and others piped in...but don't think we're saying all INFJ's wear black or something silly like that (at least I'm not). I know I don't!;)

Mannerisms, and how one presents oneself to the world - that's something I think can be more consistent within a type. But again, it would be a pretty poor way to definitively type someone.
 

BlackCat

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Mannerisms, and how one presents oneself to the world - that's something I think can be more consistent within a type. But again, it would be a pretty poor way to definitively type someone.

This does seem like it would be more consistent with type, since this comes from within, and is not a physical thing. But you can never be too sure. A lot of people I know of the same type are similar in ways (mentally), but totally different in others.
 

cascadeco

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This does seem like it would be more consistent with type, since this comes from within, and is not a physical thing. But you can never be too sure. A lot of people I know of the same type are similar in ways (mentally), but totally different in others.

I was talking with my good INFJ friend yesterday, who's also pretty into mbti, and she and I agree that INFJ's are tricky anyway - we are able to blend pretty well into many different situations and therefore might have many different 'faces' to the world.

Now I know there's a lot of variability within every type out there, but I sometimes wonder whether the INFJ's have the most variability - at least in their extroversion and how they interact with people. Including myself, I know 5 INFJ's in real life, and after getting to know them well, mentally/emotionally, it's obvious we're the same type. But if you'd put the 5 of us in a room, or at a party, I'm equally certain outsiders wouldn't put all of us into the same type. One's super talkative and I guarantee people would say she was an extrovert, one comes across much colder and more distant (although she's far from both) although she is still very eloquent, I'm much quieter, etc. I mean, I don't want to say there aren't shared traits/mannerisms, because I think there are - but it's more subtle and the casual observer/typer could easily make a mistake if they went off of pure external behaviors. But I suppose the same could be said of typing in general - not just with INFJ's.
 

Halla74

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Very easy to spot an INFJ, see below:

ostrich_head_in_ground_full.jpg
 
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