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[INFJ] How to spot an INFJ?

a24kar

New member
Joined
Apr 8, 2009
Messages
22
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1
The way you speak of INFJs in this post rings true for me.
 

quietmusician

New member
Joined
Nov 29, 2008
Messages
320
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Yeah, just some brief observations about myself. Glad to have helped.
 
B

ByMySword

Guest
Definitely. Fe makes me adjust myself to a certain environment.

Its funny. Because we're so much about honesty, and yet we have so many different facets of ourselves. Even some we've never discovered. Depending on what environment we're in, who we're with, and what we're doing, it is subject to change. Not to mention how we feel at that point. We're not always quick to accept change I think, and we adapt slow when confronting new scenarios, but once we learn how, we're able to do it much quicker. In this instance, I would say that the INFJ is a survivor of sorts. Very adaptable.

Even when we're alone, depending on how we feel, what we're doing, and what is the focus of our minds at that particular point, there truly is no true self to us, in the sense that its many selves that make up the whole.

What really determines self is our value system, which is held as indispensable from our character, for they are at the core one and the same.
 

Apollanaut

Senior Mugwump
Joined
Aug 27, 2008
Messages
550
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
May have a love affair with a particular color or number. Nervous habits may manifest, as they are not always aware of what their hands/feet are doing. Doesn't always make sense when they speak about a topic they aren't familiar with.

Red and the number 23 (or two and three separately). Always had a few nervous habits, though they change over time. Often don't make much sense to others, even if I am familiar with a topic!
 

Roflcopter

New member
Joined
Apr 15, 2009
Messages
18
MBTI Type
ENFP
My ex was one... She had a real silent intensity about her. Could not make her mind up though, especially about criticizing others. Same thing with asking them to change or stop doing something. She would usually flake out once the people were in front of her. Would also get angry at people for acting a certain way or doing something but couldn't muster up the courage to tell them to stop.
 

TaylorS

Aspie Idealist
Joined
Aug 6, 2007
Messages
365
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
972
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
We seem to have a note saying "talk to me about your problems" stuck to our backs. :D
 

GOODmusic

New member
Joined
Apr 6, 2009
Messages
9
MBTI Type
enfp
my daughter is infj. she has all the characteristics u mentioned. her dad is istj. he's very authoritarian and really rubs her up the wrong way with his insensitive comments.i hate it that she has to spend time in his company. i try to encourage her to stand up to him but she just can't. well she's only 10. hopefully she'll give him a piece of her mind when she's in her teenage years. i'd be so proud of her.bloody bully. when she was 7 she did this painting and it really was amazing i still have it hanging in the kitchen. people remark on it all the time,one friend wouldn't believe me that a 7 year old could do something so good. when she showed it to her dad he barely paid any attention to it.i wanted to shake him i swear to god! he has no idea who she really is. she can't be herself around him,she says this all the time. it's sad cos he's really missing out on an opertunity to get to know the greatest human being he's ever likely to know.
 

Lightyear

New member
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
899
Its funny. Because we're so much about honesty, and yet we have so many different facets of ourselves. Even some we've never discovered. Depending on what environment we're in, who we're with, and what we're doing, it is subject to change. Not to mention how we feel at that point. We're not always quick to accept change I think, and we adapt slow when confronting new scenarios, but once we learn how, we're able to do it much quicker. In this instance, I would say that the INFJ is a survivor of sorts. Very adaptable.

Even when we're alone, depending on how we feel, what we're doing, and what is the focus of our minds at that particular point, there truly is no true self to us, in the sense that its many selves that make up the whole.

So true. I often feel like I can only truly be myself when I am on my own. Around other people automatically the Fe kicks in, I adjust myself to them and sometimes find it hard to draw the line (so if I do it tends to be pretty abrupt). It's not like I am pretending to be someone I am not or like I am denying my own needs, it's just that the parts of my character that are necessary to relate to this person at that given moment come to the surface.

The more I trust someone the more I will show them other parts of my personality. I think I would want to marry the person with whom I can truly be myself, where I don't feel like I have to push certain parts of my character to the back because they don't understand them.


Same thing with asking them to change or stop doing something. She would usually flake out once the people were in front of her. Would also get angry at people for acting a certain way or doing something but couldn't muster up the courage to tell them to stop.

I am the same to some degree. Very conflict-avoidant. I can tell a stranger or an accquaintance to PLEASE stop doing something but the closer someone is to me (and the more F they are, Ts are easier to deal with) the more I shy away from confronting them.

However I have also realised that there is a good side to that. You always meet a person twice in your life (as we say in German) and sometimes it is helpful if you haven't pissed them off in the past (by having a fight with them) but they instead remember you as a peaceful and nice person. If you are someone who strives for harmony you will have less (relationship) bridges to mend.
 

nozflubber

DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
Joined
Mar 30, 2008
Messages
2,078
MBTI Type
Hype
I just look for a quiet/unobtrusive person, "NF-like" verbal behavior, and "THE GAZE"
 

nozflubber

DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
Joined
Mar 30, 2008
Messages
2,078
MBTI Type
Hype
Also, to successfully and consistanly spot INFJs, you should ignore EVERY post every INFJ has said about noticing them in this thread. Their information will just confuse you when you're scanning for them in the environment.

Yes i'm serious here, ignore them lol. Compelx as they are, they're VERY easy to spot.
 

vince

New member
Joined
Oct 8, 2007
Messages
320
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
6w
I just look for a quiet/unobtrusive person, "NF-like" verbal behavior, and "THE GAZE"

I'm not quiet and sometimes not even unobtrusive... I'm usually very open and blunt. I'm interested in everyting and I'm over-opionated, that's my give away.

And as mentioned...people always come for advice (and then I give it, then they ignore it and then they come for advice...repeat).
 
R

Riva

Guest
This list isn't exhaustive, but it's a start.

-Often sort of intense, psychic eyes. Where INFP's look like fairies sometimes, INFJ's can look like angels.
-Walk like a ghost, legs first (whatever that means to you, haha, I'll leave it at that).
-Nose can be a bit upturned (not always, but very often).
-Usually quite thin.
-Usually dress... hard to explain. An element of reserve there, but subtle drama, too. They are very good at mixing black with other colors, but not a lot of color usually.
-When they smile for pictures sometimes their eyes remain relaxed, which can make their smile look phony (even though it probably isn't fake).
-They can seem "off-limits" from afar, but once you get to know them, you won't find a better or more caring listener.
-Dry sense of humor, sometimes making fun of others without them being aware of it, subtle puns not uncommon.
-They often have an air of sophistication, even if they don't know this about themselves.
-They would be horrified if they accidentally farted in front of you.

you forgot pretty.
and the INFJ girls i know can put out the FIRE that burns inside me with a single look.:yes:
 

whimsical

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2009
Messages
351
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
4
i love mixing black with stuff, my favourite colour
 

nanook

a scream in a vortex
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Messages
1,361
i say, you can spot people who are similar to people you have known previously.
know one infj (or anyone), and you will know two or three other ones of the same type. know two or three, and you will know nine or twelve. know twelve and you might know 21 ...

there is no short cut, that could be taught by communication (like in this thread)
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
If I had to go by what I sometimes catch myself doing or what others tell me..

-kind, intense eyes
-genuine smile
-quick wit
-devoted to sarcasm
-knowledgeable
-good listener
-can appear distant or cold
-vague
-softspoken
-quiet
-sharp memory
-when I walk I have a sense of purpose (relaxed but strong gait)
-babyfaced (not relevant, but..)
-I speak as if I'm older than I am
-talented in the Arts
-don't mind sitting alone (with Ipod with me)
-huge music/film fan (I speak with much enthusiasm about them)
-very observant
-when angered I surprise people with blatant rage (not afraid to fight if I need to)
-can be many different people at different times
-feels the need to be "right" all the time

i agree with this.
 
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