[ENFP] ENFP Pet Peeves

[LunaIndigo]

Word to the 'taking opinions personally'. I've noticed when people around me just bitch and moan about little things like, "that cashier was SO rude to me, jeez what a bitch..." blah blah stupid stuff like that, and I'll be like, "well what if she was having a bad day or something?" and if they still are complaining about it I'll be like, "maybe you shouldn't take things so personally." I wasn't meaning to make fun of them or pick on them just give a suggestion about it (and to make them shut up ugh) they'll get all quiet, look down, and eventually after a long silence go, "whatever...." and not talk.


I also do not like it when I have to carry the conversation. The big one for me is when someone will call me and say, "so what do you want to talk about?"

 

[Amargith]

Interesting. I have trouble getting ENFPs in my life to shut up and share the spotlight.

Depends on how hyper I am, but usually, I'll gladly let the ENTP take over and rant, so I can just chill and laugh a bit myself

Oh!!! Good one!! This drives me crazy! I am not here to entertain... The EXCHANGE/INTERACTION is what makes it fun!

These people I think of as conversational "takers" because they do not CONTRIBUTE to the conversation!

Just say no to MONOLOGUES!

We are not toys that you just wind up and watch go...

I actually do the opposite. I can do this as well, but unless I'm completely absorbed by the topic I'll start feeling self-conscious quickly. So I avoid this by making other people rant instead, if I can..way more fun

 

[Moiety]

I totally agree.

I'm capable of carrying a room full of conversations, doing 90% of the work. The problem comes whenever I don't feel like operating as the center of attention and root of all laughter. When I want to sit back and chill, people bother me with the "whats wrong"s and the "entertain me, Evan" bullshit that makes me want to stuff their faces through a cheese grater.

Among my closer circle of friends however, I NEVER have this problem.

Man, I completely relate to all of what you said. What's even more of a pain in the ass, is when I'm hanging out with them or something, and for some reason I'm not in the mood to talk that much and they'll come up with stupid stuff "What's wrong with you Sy?Why are you feeling down?" I mean...wth!The best part is when they say stuff like "I know you...something's definitely wrong." lol

ETA: And yep, with my close friends this doesn't happen.

 

[LunaIndigo]

That happens to me a lot at church. I'll be sitting in a pew or standing outside waiting to go in or leave and someone will be like, "Hillary, smile!!" It happens weekly. Or, my favorite time this happened was when a friends mom came up to me and was all, "if you ever want to talk about anything, I've got an open heart, and I'll listen..." Like seriously, WTF? So if I'm not zooming around the room and trying to be seen as much as possible (like my ENFJ mother), there's something wrong with me? The friend whose mom said this also had a WTF look on her face when this happened.

 

[Amargith]

+1

 

[Chris_in_Orbit]

1. Having someone willingly give to me (whether time, attention, favors, errands, cooking, or WHATEVER), and then accuse me of using them when I don't respond in kind. Hello!? I never asked for any of that in the first place! If I want to do something nice for you, I will. But don't try and manipulate me into it by giving giving giving to me and expecting me to do the same just because you did so for me.

You'd think you'd "want" to do something nice for someone who has done all those things for you. And that kind of ties into one of my pet peeves (though I doubt it is relevant here.) I hate when I constantly do nice things for someone and they let it get to the point where I don't think they appreciate it.

 

[Southern Kross]

I totally agree.

I'm capable of carrying a room full of conversations, doing 90% of the work. The problem comes whenever I don't feel like operating as the center of attention and root of all laughter. When I want to sit back and chill, people bother me with the "whats wrong"s and the "entertain me, Evan" bullshit that makes me want to stuff their faces through a cheese grater.

Among my closer circle of friends however, I NEVER have this problem.

"DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!"

Seriously, do people do this? That's crap. What are you, the entertainment?

Do you ever suspect that sometimes people just ask you to parties etc for the purpose of entertaining everyone?

-Flirting, or what some consider flirting (I think I'm being nice but others don't view it that way)

Isn't it shocking that when someone is friendly and open that people naturally assume its an act or that there are ulterior motives? What does this say about human beings?

That happens to me a lot at church. I'll be sitting in a pew or standing outside waiting to go in or leave and someone will be like, "Hillary, smile!!" It happens weekly. Or, my favorite time this happened was when a friends mom came up to me and was all, "if you ever want to talk about anything, I've got an open heart, and I'll listen..." Like seriously, WTF? So if I'm not zooming around the room and trying to be seen as much as possible (like my ENFJ mother), there's something wrong with me? The friend whose mom said this also had a WTF look on her face when this happened.

Ugh, I hate people telling me to 'smile' or 'cheer up'. :steam: This must be 100 times worse for ENFPs - like you're not allowed to have a bad day or even a quiet private moment.

BTW you know this is totally a sexist thing too. How often do men get told to 'cheer up'? Women seem to be expected to be constantly smiling and cheerful. :rolli:

 

[silverchris9]

^Umm, I'm a guy and I get "cheer up," "are you okay," etc., all the time, and I hate it with all of my being. Yes, I'm fine, and if you try to cheer me up I will probably play along with you but it will be a complete waste of my energy which I could put to better use finishing whatever non-exuberant state I happen to be in at the moment, thank you very much! The phrase are you okay has been the bane of my existence probably my entire life, especially since if you try to tell them what's "wrong" (whether it's something good or bad or whatever), they definitely won't understand.

That happens to me a lot at church. I'll be sitting in a pew or standing outside waiting to go in or leave and someone will be like, "Hillary, smile!!" It happens weekly. Or, my favorite time this happened was when a friends mom came up to me and was all, "if you ever want to talk about anything, I've got an open heart, and I'll listen..." Like seriously, WTF? So if I'm not zooming around the room and trying to be seen as much as possible (like my ENFJ mother), there's something wrong with me? The friend whose mom said this also had a WTF look on her face when this happened.

I'm with you. Why do church people seem to be worse about this than most people?

And also someone did call me shy the other day, and I wanted to retort, "nope, just not very good at vapid conversation-by-text," but that would've been a complete jerk thing to do, so I didn't do it.

 

[Clownmaster]

"DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!"

Seriously, do people do this? That's crap. What are you, the entertainment?

Do you ever suspect that sometimes people just ask you to parties etc for the purpose of entertaining everyone?

Well, because of our extreme ease at entertaining the masses, this gets us popularity we didn't request due to only one facet of our personality (not that us attention-whores are complaining). Parties are group efforts, though, so having a person you know has the uncanny ability to keep a room light-spirited will undoubtedly end up on the guest list. Whether this is a primary motivator at all, or a subconscious reason for your attendance, or even whether there is any apparent correlation at all, I can't say.

I don't think they invite us with the purpose of entertaining everyone, but rather that they understand that we know how to have a good time and like being in the spotlight, and as our friends they don't want us to be "left out" of the party. All the pieces of the puzzle and ingredients for why we're included are there. I'm just not sure which pieces weigh heavier than others.

 

[ed111]

Interesting. I have trouble getting ENFPs in my life to shut up and share the spotlight.

Likewise. I find it extremely annoying that they won't sit quietly and listen occasionally.

 

[Lady_X]

Likewise. I find it extremely annoying that they won't sit quietly and listen occasionally.

see i totally don't get this! comments like this make me think i'm not an extravert! what the hell! it doesn't apply to me at all.

 

[ajblaise]

see i totally don't get this! comments like this make me think i'm not an extravert! what the hell! it doesn't apply to me at all.

I think ENFPs are suppose to be one of the better listeners out of the extroverts, as well as good talkers.

That's what I've noticed, anyway.

 

[Laurie]

see i totally don't get this! comments like this make me think i'm not an extravert! what the hell! it doesn't apply to me at all.

I used to be more "in your face" - people called me "expected conversation." Of course I think I hang around with introverts, too, so I might seem more chatty.

 

[Amargith]

Used to be too loud and present, now people complain I'm not loud and present enough. Can never get it right, it seems.

 

[Nonsensical]

I hate it when people don't mean what they say, when they're being serious.

I hate it when people say but don't do. Love is action, not just words.

I hate it when people try to fit in, but really don't. When people aren't true to themselves.

I hate it when people are too bossy. When they're so closed minded that no one matters but themselves.

It annoys me when people make a huuuuge deal out of a little problem. All those SF's!

 

[Lady_X]

damn...maybe i'm not. is it possible i'm an infp? or what? hmm....don't confuse me people!! but really...no one would ever call me loud or in your face...ever.

 

[Amargith]

I hate people who seem to want to misunderstand you and automatically assume that you must be trying to con them somehow and your only motives can be selfish ones. Hello! Do I look like the kind of person who goes around wasting her time with that kinda bullshit? God, to live like that must make you miserable, no wonder you're a miserable person to talk to. Plz go be paranoid elsewhere.

 

[Nonsensical]

I hate people who seem to want to misunderstand you and automatically assume that you must be trying to con them somehow and your only motives can be selfish ones. Hello! Do I look like the kind of person who goes around wasting her time with that kinda bullshit? God, to live like that must make you miserable, no wonder you're a miserable person to talk to. Plz go be paranoid elsewhere.

 

[ajblaise]

damn...maybe i'm not. is it possible i'm an infp? or what? hmm....don't confuse me people!! but really...no one would ever call me loud or in your face...ever.

I know an ENFP with a 'softer' style, and she kinda seems like an engaging introvert when you're interacting with her, but I'm not 100% sure she's extroverted.

 

[Lady_X]

I know an ENFP with a 'softer' style, and she kinda seems like an engaging introvert when you're interacting with her, but I'm not 100% sure she's extroverted.

yeah...enfp fits. i'm just really not obviously an extravert i don't think...hmm...thanks...you know besides my hijacking this thread to talk about me...haha