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[ENFP] ENFPs: Hopeless Flirts?

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
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4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
How do you justify it when you insult someone as a joke, coz that's your type of bantering, and they take it seriously? And why do you feel the need to insult them in the first place? It's pretty much the same thing imo.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
That's what I am trying to figure out. When people flirt with you and you respond how do they justify it if you take them seriously?

That's like asking "Why are bushes bushy?" we could be here all night if we asked the ENFP's that question! :doh: I honestly don't think they have a reasonable (or understandable) answer.
 
V

violaine

Guest
...They are better off using the internet for that, at least that way they have a less chance of hurting feelings and what not! :)

This is the interesting thing, there seems to be a resistance to acknowledging that it can be really hurtful. For the partner watching on and for the target of the flirting.

On some level, with some people, it's just cruel beyond a certain point.

It surprises me when some ENFPs don't seem to grasp that? Though perhaps that's a type bias, expecting that NF automatically means caring etc. Idk, it just strikes me as odd. If it's upsetting your partner why not try and work on it... makes me think that attention from others is more important than anything?
 

Delilah

We all got it comin' kid
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
1,044
MBTI Type
INTP
It'd make me feel better if you had your tubes tied.

Ah, the hallmark of a poor debater who realizes his argument is baseless, personal attacks that have no bearing on the topic.

Stay classy, baby.
 

Biaxident

Charting a course
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
3,617
MBTI Type
INFP
Double entendres of a sexual or romantic nature? What is the purpose of this?

They can be, but not necessarily.

Personally, I think it makes the tired, bored, person feel attractive and appreciated. Which it turn makes my experience with them more pleasant. And allows me to appropriate some goodwill, extra merchandise, better/quicker service. All at the cost of some words and possibly several minutes of my time.

And occasionally, the phone number of someone who isn't a self-absorbed, self-righteous, stick in the mud.

We've met several nice couples that way.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
This is the interesting thing, there seems to be a resistance to acknowledging that it can be really hurtful. For the partner watching on and for the target of the flirting.

On some level, with some people, it's just cruel beyond a certain point.

It surprises me when some ENFPs don't seem to grasp that? Though perhaps that's a type bias, expecting that NF automatically means caring etc. Idk, it just strikes me as odd. If it's upsetting your partner why not try and work on it... makes me think that attention from others is more important than anything?

On the surface they probably see it as "connecting with others" or "being friendly", but when you scratch the surface it's usually a need to be liked above all else. This has to come from the outside as they cannot get it from within because that would require introspection and strength.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4, 7
It surprises me when some ENFPs don't seem to grasp that? Though perhaps that's a type bias, expecting that NF automatically means caring etc. Idk, it just strikes me as odd. If it's upsetting your partner why not try and work on it... makes me think that attention from others is more important than anything?
Come to think about it? This is a really good point. Further justifies why I should keep quiet more often.. Maybe it's better to keep my happiness self-contained? When I'm friendly, it's really the way I am, mostly meant to keep the mood jovial.. I operate that way. After reading this response, it really makes sense now. Totally will take into consideration. :yes: :D
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
So, you are just here to troll?

I give each participant what they seek. Reasonable people get reason. Argumentative people get argument. Considerate people get consideration. Lame people get lameness. Next time you get nothing because you are nothing, by virtue of the lack of content you create.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
Come to think about it? This is a really good point. Further justifies why I should keep quiet more often.. Maybe it's better to keep my happiness self-contained? When I'm friendly, it's really the way I am, mostly meant to keep the mood jovial.. I operate that way. After reading this response, it really makes sense now. Totally will take into consideration. :yes: :D

Flirting does not equal friendly. Flirting is sexual or romantic in nature. Can we at least cop to this?
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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ENFP
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784
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sx/sp
On the surface they probably see it as "connecting with others" or "being friendly", but when you scratch the surface it's usually a need to be liked above all else. This has to come from the outside as they cannot get it from within because that would require introspection and strength.

wow synarch that's just fucked up.
 
V

violaine

Guest
Come to think about it? This is a really good point. Further justifies why I should keep quiet more often.. Maybe it's better to keep my happiness self-contained? When I'm friendly, it's really the way I am, mostly meant to keep the mood jovial.. I operate that way. After reading this response, it really makes sense now. Totally will take into consideration. :yes: :D

No, I don't mean friendly, I know some people get that twisted. I'm talking about flirting. And that it's often hurtful to play with people's feelings.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
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4, 7
^Oh I see.. Yeah.. I have a friend ESFJ, who really knows how to get the guys going- I mean- she's good at it, and I don't think that she quite gets it.

Friendliness may come off as flirtiness.. there are certain ways in which things can get waay too far. Yup. I think at that point it's best to ask if we would like to treat others that way? To put ourselves in check.. I do a lot. :)
 

professor goodstain

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
1,785
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7~7
Upon further developments in this thread stains NE is fried and he is now temporarily out of service. But he did leave this message "ENFPs FI feeds their NE externaly by the use of flirting. This is known as the new concept of (tickle). The problem is that as individuals some don't know where the edge of the cliff is. This also could be due to SI. However, NT may never understand the symbol (tickle).


YO! Costrin?
 

Delilah

We all got it comin' kid
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Messages
1,044
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INTP
I give each participant what they seek. Reasonable people get reason. Argumentative people get argument. Considerate people get consideration. Lame people get lameness. Next time you get nothing because you are nothing, by virtue of the lack of content you create.

I asked you reasonable questions considering the venomous nature of your posts here. This is clearly an emotional hot button for you, and I am curious as to why.
 

Synarch

Once Was
Joined
Oct 14, 2008
Messages
8,445
MBTI Type
ENTP
I asked you reasonable questions considering the venomous nature of your posts here. This is clearly an emotional hot button for you, and I am curious as to why.

So, you are just here to troll?

Considering the hard line attacks you seem to be making against those darn flirty NFs, it seemed a very reasonable question. Why so defensive? How many NTs have asked you questions that make you feel that way?

It really is, thanks.

Since we are being honest, how many NFs have dumped you?

Reviewing your past questions I don't know how I could have gotten the idea that you were someone unworthy of seriousness. It is a mystery. I will have to think on it.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
6,387
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ENTP
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7w8
wow synarch that's just fucked up.

It's a bit harsh, yes. However, it could be true to a degree. And it could also be true that the SO on the sidelines is insecure and needs his/her partners attentions solely on them. Especially if it was the flirting that attracted him/her to the SO in the first place. And it could be said that the SO feels empty and sought out that flirtatious person to make him/her feel alive and wanted. We all have our issues to some degree. No one is perfect, not even lovely dear Synarch. But we just learn from life...
 
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