[ENFP] ENFPs: Hopeless Flirts?

[seeker22]

Flirting is not without consequence. This is a recent epiphany for me. I used to think it was harmless.

Synarch makes a good point. There are sometimes consequences of flirting for the recipients... (and the initiators?)

So what is the PURPOSE of flirting?

Attention? Fun? To communicate affection? Entertainment? Ego boost? Flattery? This is where people get hurt - when the intentions of the flirting are incorrectly interpreted...

 

[alcea rosea]

Synarch makes a good point. There are sometimes consequences of flirting for the recipients... (and the initiators?)

So what is the PURPOSE of flirting?

Attention? Fun? To communicate affection? Entertainment? Ego boost? Flattery? This is where people get hurt - when the intentions of the flirting are incorrectly interpreted...

First we need to define what's flirting and I think people's opinions about that differ so much that we couldn't even agree on that.

Purpose can be different in something that is intended to be flirting and something that is seen as flirting by some other people but that is not intended to be flirting.

 

[Synarch]

First we need to define what's flirting and I think people's opinions about that differ so much that we couldn't even agree on that.

Purpose can be different in something that is intended to be flirting and something that is seen as flirting by some other people but that is not intended to be flirting.

# flirt: playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

# Flirting is a form of human interaction between two people, expressing a romantic and/or sexual interest. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirting

So, by these definitions, would you want your SO flirting? I wouldn't.

 

[seeker22]

Hmmm... I also think flirting depends on the STATE of the recipient...

To make an analogy... Take food for example. If your kitchen cupboards are full of food, and someone offers you some - you won't jump at it.

If, however, your kitchen cupboards are empty and you have no food - you WILL LUNGE for the food!

The same could be said of flirting. The recipient's "state," WILL dictate their response and interpretation.

Yes? No?

So where does the RESPONSIBILITY lie? The initiator or the recipient?

Can a flirt really control how someone interprets their remarks?

 

[Synarch]

Hmmm... I also think flirting depends on the STATE of the recipient...

To make an analogy... Take food for example. If your kitchen cupboards are full of food, and someone offers you some - you won't jump at it.

If, however, your kitchen cupboards are empty and you have no food - you WILL LUNGE for the food!

The same could be said of flirting. The recipient's "state," WILL dictate their response and interpretation.

Yes? No?

So where does the RESPONSIBILITY lie? The initiator or the recipient?

Can a flirt really control how someone interprets their remarks?

If I jerk you off and you get hard, where does the responsibility lie?

 

[Thursday]

If I jerk you off and you get hard, where does the responsibility lie?

In your hands
Too easy, I know

 

[Synarch]

In your hands
Too easy, I know

Haha. Clever.

 

[marmandahalf]

In your hands
Too easy, I know

 

[Lady_X]

THis is a good point.

If it's someone like TucsonENTP.. someone who's very nature is flirtacious. He'll openly admit to flirting with 60 year old women that run stop-n-go stores. It takes two to tango, and I'd hate to try and change a man who is who he is.

On the other hand.. I think my flirting style DOES change when I'm in a relationship. I tend to cut things off if I feel they get too far, whereas I'd let it go on in a single lifestyle. If someone was flirting in a way that was the way I would *truly* flirt, I would be upset, yes.

I had a boyfriend that was hug and tell girls they were hawt and that he'd love to have this and that.. while I stood right there. Taking advantage of the fact that I'm not the jealous type is not a good idea. Nor is it a good thing to take advantage of my understanding. Trying to push my boundaries is one of my boundaries.

whoa...that's totally crossing the line. couldn't deal with that for one sec. being charming and complimentary is fine but don't try to really pick them up in a straight up sexual way.

 

[seeker22]

If I jerk you off and you get hard, where does the responsibility lie?

Just because you jerk off, doesn't NECESSARILY mean I would get aroused. That's my point. Depends on the recipient.

 

[Lady_X]

so yeah...i think us being natural is often similar to other people being flirty but we flirt differently when we mean it and don't do it so much when involved with someone...or i should say...i don't.

 

[Synarch]

Just because you jerk off, doesn't NECESSARILY mean I would get aroused. That's my point. Depends on the recipient.

Yea, but I am responsible for wrapping my fist around you. Get it?

 

[seeker22]

Yea, but I am responsible for wrapping my fist around you. Get it?

My understanding was that you were jerking YOURSELF off, and I would become aroused or NOT by THAT.

 

[Synarch]

My understanding was that you were jerking YOURSELF off, and I would become aroused or NOT by THAT.

No wonder you're so confused. You can't even tell when someone is jerking you off.

 

[kiddykat]

I really can't see how ENFPs are more prone to cheating that other types.. Even SJs... I just reckon they are more thorough in their cover up and so less likley to get caught

Good point there!

As an ENFP, I am often times accused of being a hopeless flirt... In my mind, I'm simply playfully engaging others and giving them attention. My ex gf (SJ) and I would get in huge fights over this for the five years we were together. (And btw no I never cheated) She said I had no "emotional boundaries." What really sucks is when you think you are just being fun and nice, and the other person mistakes it for genuine romantic interest. Others?

Describes my experience pretty well.. My INFJ ex used to throw fits at me for coming off too friendly the way I do? I mean.. It's how I relate to people, in general. I'm open/honest & like to invite people to places/experiences I have, bc I like to share in that way.. which comes off the wrong way and drove him nuts.

And, I won't stop being me. If people take it the wrong way, then maybe they think too much or they think they're the shit if a girl's nice to them? IDK..

I respect boundaries in a sense that after everything, I learned to keep distance for this reason.

Despite everything, I still like to treat males/females equally the same. But I learned to just kinda back away a bit.

 

[Synarch]

As an ENFP, I am often times accused of being a hopeless flirt... In my mind, I'm simply playfully engaging others and giving them attention. My ex gf (SJ) and I would get in huge fights over this for the five years we were together. (And btw no I never cheated) She said I had no "emotional boundaries." What really sucks is when you think you are just being fun and nice, and the other person mistakes it for genuine romantic interest. Others?

That's why I say that ENFP's are the emotional sluts. They'll get down emotionally with anyone any time anywhere.

 

[seeker22]

No wonder you're so confused. You can't even tell when someone is jerking you off.

LOL!!! Ok, so then my next question is: can you wrap your fist around me if I don't want you to? NO. Which leads me to believe that unless the recipient is OPEN to the "exchange," it cannot take place. The recipient does "collude" in the act.

 

[Synarch]

LOL!!! Ok, so then my next question is: can you wrap your fist around me if I don't want you to? NO. Which leads me to believe that unless the recipient is OPEN to the "exchange," no harm no foul. The recipient does "collude" in the act.

Oh, so if I go waving money around in your face and you reach for it, that's on me? Does that mean you should brazenly wave money in someone's face or become surprised if they grab for it or become hurt if your SO doesn't like you waving her money around in case people grab at it?

 

[seeker22]

That's why I say that ENFP's are the emotional sluts. They'll get down emotionally with anyone any time anywhere.

That is exactly what I wanted to explore. Emotional sluts: bs or possible??

 

[Synarch]

That is exactly what I wanted to explore. Emotional sluts: bs or possible??

I'm being provocative but it is a question I have thought of.

Slut = indiscriminate with something that should be confined to a relationship

Are there other similar forms of being indiscriminate?