• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[INFJ] INFJs: Does this metaphor resonate with you?

S

Sniffles

Guest
+1, there's SO much that goes into the words we say (I'm hurt deeply by anyone that says 'Ed, stop thinking so much.') that any time we feel it is unappreciated we deem that person not worth the time and move on. When we find someone who listens to us and is willing to join in or can relate to at least some of what we say or have gone through, we latch on.

When people don't bother looking deeper than the surface, all they see is this guy who doesn't talk much, stutters a lot, is dorky, thinks a lot on everything, and is easy to irritate. I'm not very complex on the surface, but when you become my friend, at least a good acquaintance, there's the second level of the surface. You could say it's the cloud layer then the crust layer.

+1 to this as well. To the first paragraph, that's very much true with me. There's so much I have to say on certain topics, but so little time and energy to do so; and I won't bother if the person is not worth discussing with.

And I don't mean that in any condenscending way, I'm not talking about people who make honest efforts to understand and contribute to the discussion.

I also agree heavily on your second paragraph. I can't count how many times people have remarked at how complex a person I am after getting to know me real well. This applies to several members here even. ;)
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
Can I claim the Moon as a metaphor for ENFPs? :D
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
You don't get the concept of a metaphor, do you :alttongue:
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'll howl at ya, Amar.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
See, now that's the spirit :D
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
Joined
Mar 31, 2009
Messages
9,581
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Didn't see sarcasm either. I'm seeing sweet ol' irony now though. :)
 

Amargith

Hotel California
Joined
Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4dw
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
chose to ignore it... :D
 

Kyrielle

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,294
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
What are the types of things that people say to you (and mean it, of course) that relax you early on?

First, I love your metaphor.

I've started to just tell people early on who I think I'll be friends with or want to get close to, "I know I don't look like it, but I'm prone to saying to really weird/dark/nasty/swearing things when I'm relaxed. So if something offends you, I need to know...otherwise I'll just keep saying the same kinds 'offensive' things."

So far it's working out all right.

The best thing someone can say to me is, "I'm not easily offended."
 

mwv6r

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2008
Messages
208
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I've been through this first hand, my wife is INFJ, I am ESTP, and for many years I did not get it. I bought her a LOADED Dell Insprion (Pink, her favorite color!) laptop (the small girl size one!) and a color coordinated cool chic laptop case, and she was barely impressed. The next year I bought her a .5 carat diamond solitaire pendant (platinum) with a nice snake chain; response was "That's nice." But if I sit and listen to her when she wants to talk, or if I give her a hug when she's feeling down and tell her I love her, that means the world to her. <SIGH> At least I'm trying! :shock:


I had to laugh out loud at your post. That sounds just like my ESTP fiance's gifts for me (I'm INFJ). For a long time he kept bringing home random pink things to gift me with (pink shoes, a pink Dolphins shirt because he loves the Miami dolphins, a pink Dolphins hat, pink earrings, etc.). I really appreciated the thought and effort and acted excited each time, but inside I was like, "Huh?" Luckily he's gotten better at guessing what I like in recent years, but even if he hadn't I would still appreciate that ESTP generosity :eek:)
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
Like the layers of an onion... except each layer is unique and all interconnected if you know how to read them. :)
 

Halla74

Artisan Conquerer
Joined
Jan 20, 2009
Messages
6,898
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
7w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I had to laugh out loud at your post. That sounds just like my ESTP fiance's gifts for me (I'm INFJ). For a long time he kept bringing home random pink things to gift me with (pink shoes, a pink Dolphins shirt because he loves the Miami dolphins, a pink Dolphins hat, pink earrings, etc.). I really appreciated the thought and effort and acted excited each time, but inside I was like, "Huh?" Luckily he's gotten better at guessing what I like in recent years, but even if he hadn't I would still appreciate that ESTP generosity :eek:)


Haaa! Glad you got a laugh out of (and your fiance's) misdirected ESTP generousity! You know, if y'all INFJ wifey/finacee types would tell us ESTP hubby/fiancee types what you liked/wanted then you would get it instead of the stuff we think you will like.
 

sade

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2008
Messages
761
;)

I guess there was a hint of sarcasm there, but only because I know that INFJs are generally considered to be complex. I meant I'm pretty simple in terms of my needs and wants; reasonable peace of mind, harmonious surroundings, a bit of success, a partner I can share my thoughts with and whose negative qualities do not outweigh his positive qualities, and a fair share of passionate and exciting experiences. I can agree with INFJs having complex emotions, but I think once a person gets into the rhythm of an INFJ the INFJ will be much less difficult to figure out. Yes, the intensity and quirks are always right under the reserved exterior, but you'll understand this after a while and know what to expect.

+1
I consider myself a simple girl also, strange yes, but simple. I don't need much, not gifts nor such stuff. Just what was listed above.

And I liked the metaphor very much. I have no idea what dwells in my core.
 

ladypinkington

Rubber Nipple Salesperson
Joined
Jul 19, 2007
Messages
1,126
MBTI Type
INFJ
I like the metaphor becasue INFJ's are like parfaits- we have layers. This gets me into trouble because I assume that people know there is more to me then what they see and also assume that there is more to other people then what I see- that everyone else has lots of layers- even conflicting and contradictory ones- meeting someone who is completely what you see is what you get- there is nothing more there or anything different really messes with my mind.

I don't understand that at all. Nor am I able to be understood by them at all.
You show one layer of yourself and get typecasted- all the while you are actually a versatile actor and complex character. That annoys me more then anything- getting typecasted- confined and defined by one layer- like assuming the whole world of you is the crust- when there are mantles and inner and outer cores.
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I like the metaphor becasue INFJ's are like parfaits- we have layers. This gets me into trouble because I assume that people know there is more to me then what they see and also assume that there is more to other people then what I see- that everyone else has lots of layers- even conflicting and contradictory ones- meeting someone who is completely what you see is what you get- there is nothing more there or anything different really messes with my mind.

I don't understand that at all. Nor am I able to be understood by them at all.
You show one layer of yourself and get typecasted- all the while you are actually a versatile actor and complex character. That annoys me more then anything- getting typecasted- confined and defined by one layer- like assuming the whole world of you is the crust- when there are mantles and inner and outer cores.

:yes: I understand/relate very much to what you write!
 

tibby

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2008
Messages
682
MBTI Type
fool
I like the metaphor becasue INFJ's are like parfaits- we have layers. This gets me into trouble because I assume that people know there is more to me then what they see and also assume that there is more to other people then what I see- that everyone else has lots of layers- even conflicting and contradictory ones- meeting someone who is completely what you see is what you get- there is nothing more there or anything different really messes with my mind.

I don't understand that at all. Nor am I able to be understood by them at all.
You show one layer of yourself and get typecasted- all the while you are actually a versatile actor and complex character. That annoys me more then anything- getting typecasted- confined and defined by one layer- like assuming the whole world of you is the crust- when there are mantles and inner and outer cores.

Just wanted to say: me too relates to this :)
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i agree that the combination of functions makes infjs have a more recessed and complex expression of features, landscape, layers of crust/development, etc. than most types.

it's the difference between our inner world and our outer one. inside we place things on our big picture intuitive map based on feeling, yes, but we judge them/sort them with the cold hard precision of introverted thinking. we pull apart all concepts, all feelings, all impressions, all relationships, all traditions, all motivations, etc, and we put them back together with our own discretion of what the world is made up of and what it should become. (competing with extraverted feeling, the envirnoment, the moment, harmony, the flow of play in social life, our heritage, the RIGHT NOW, etc). our introverted and analytical nature often obscures our usage of extraverted feeling, which is shockingly ephemeral and fickly/flaky/shaky for others at times in our lives. our judgment functions are at odds with each other that is heightened by our usage of introverted intuition (much like Te-Fi in intjs!), and it causes unreadability and mercurial expression and hot-cold high pressure front flare-ups at times that surprise even our closest friends. our end goal is compassion, yes, but also centering and a bit of detachment from the terrible NOISE of subjectivity and feeling flowing all around in the world around us. i agree that there is something hot that at times surges up and violently explodes at the surface.

as to the op- yes on the second. being recognized is one of the principle aspects for any Ni type, being recognized and having a shared sense of meaning, a framework for understanding, communicating deeply and profoundly, etc.

i think we also accept and appreciate and sense complexity in ways that cause frustration. like being cast into one mould is frustrating when you can feel the fault lines shifting and quaking beneath your feet. the discourse seems so silly and distant from the inner pullings of the world and its magnetic force. that things are always more densely interconnected and part of something greater, that the specifics show imprecision and misguidedness, grammar games, etc, when we can feel it running deep in our ancient bones.
 
Top