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[Jungian Cognitive Functions] INFJ vs INFP -- which is more forgiving?

Generally speaking, which do you think is the more forgiving type?


  • Total voters
    122

sketched4funcz

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Mar 8, 2016
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MBTI Type
INFJ
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4w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
INFP.
INFJ's may hold the spite inside for years and thensuddenly take the revenge in an unexpected moment. They never forgive.
 

Forever

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^ totally accurate

We're all mass murderers waiting to exact our revenge. :rolleyes:
[MENTION=24643]Frosty[/MENTION] take notes. True trollage.
 

her-space-holiday

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Oct 25, 2015
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INFJ
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4w5
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sx/so
I always say I can't hold a grudge to save my life - but after some self reflection, I think that it's more accurate to say that : I can't hold a grudge with people I'm interacting with regularly. There are people I haven't seen in years who used to be good friends, specifically one, where the air probably needs to be cleared between us. And I know it will, eventually, when we regain contact(we're in different states, have been friends since middle school).

I need to clear the air, for sure. There are people who I've simply detached myself from and have no intention of reconnecting with - I don't harbor any ill will towards them and don't really think of them at all..but when I do I remember mainly negative things.

So while I'm not a grudge holder I can be a door slammer, and perhaps that makes me extremely unforgiving.

I also will tend to turn my anger towards someone else's actions back on myself - when I'm mad at someone I'll retreat and ignore the fuck out of them and do a lot of self reflection and thinking, until eventually I somehow end up more mad at myself..? :shrug:
I vote infps.
 

Lia_kat

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ISFP
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9w8
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sp/so
INFP.
INFJ's may hold the spite inside for years and thensuddenly take the revenge in an unexpected moment. They never forgive.

I was going to say INFP because I do try to understand everyone's point of view and know that everyone makes mistakes so I forgive often BUT it also depends on the situation. I never, ever forget if someone does something shitty that hurts me deeply. And like what's mentioned above, I can hold spite inside forever and all of a sudden unleash rage/revenge unexpectedly.

So while I'm not a grudge holder I can be a door slammer, and perhaps that makes me extremely unforgiving.

I do this all the time too. I cut people out of my life ruthlessly.
Maybe I'm a mean INFP? :unsure: Lol
 

Norrsken

self murderer
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sx/so
It highly depends on the situation. I have forgiven people who have hurt me before, such as family members and friends, but it is usually because they come to me with an olive branch and plead forgiveness for their complete and utter stupidity. And then there are those where I just know they are only apologizing for reasons being, for example, in order to retain social approval from other people when they are being under watch. Those are the ones I say I forgive, but deep down hope they get hit by a truck.

I really do think that INFPs are the ones who forgive quicker as well as move on the fastest, whereas INFJs take their time to forgive and may even snap at you down the line when they remember what you said or did against them. I think INFJs are the ones who really make you feel like complete crap for what you did, lmao!
 

Evo

Unapologetic being
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I think INFP is more likely to say they forgive you, but will probably hold onto that moment forever where it will come back to haunt you someday.

INFJs are probably less forgiving, but are less likely to hold a grudge.

imo

I think this is an Fi vs Fe thing

This
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
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MBTI Type
INFJ
Depends if the person is sorry and if the pattern continues. I'm pretty soft hearted and even manipulable if accounts are kept short. I struggle more if there's a reoccurring underlying issue that can't or won't be acknowledged or dealt with, especially if I've exhausted all my own resources trying to fix it. Mostly my grudginess comes when I feel hurt and I know the other person is aware of what they've done but doesn't want to deal with it. Honest misunderstandings or mistakes are different.

Infjs are less good at resolving problems internally without additional information or assistance to deal with it, so it takes longer to process if they can't get that. However, I think they don't really enjoy feeling that way. If it does seem like they're holding a grudge it's more of a Ni risk avoidance of bad situations that would require decisively acting in the moment, which is not a strength of theirs, or it would be a trust issue over something happening repeatedly.

I feel like infps are less touchy initially and more able to live and let live but may be harder to deal with if they are deeply upset because it's more of an internal process that is less influenced by outside sources. That's just speculation though.
 

Galaxy Gazer

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It's a difficult question, but I'd probably have to go with INFJ. In my experiences, when an INFJ decides they don't like someone, that usually doesn't change. A lot of INFPs can hold grudges, but can be more easily swayed because of their Ne. It affects me too, and probably other Ne types; I can go from hating someone to loving them in about 5 minutes.
 

Mustafa

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INFP
I am INFP and because I am P i don't have closure and am "prober" and not "planner" (J). This means that I have more possibility to unconditional love since Fi goes in depth and Fe goes in breadth. So maybe Fe and INFJ is more popular and quite possibly more intelligent because of Ni, but I forgive better. Many times I think he is a Jerk, when he bothers me. But quite soon, I think it is not fitting, it is not a forgiving attitude. I must always forgive. As a matter of fact, I'd sacrifice myself in order to forgive if it had to go so far. I'd be overbearing, along time upon injustice (since I have this GREAT internal fire) but when it goes to far and I am pused into a corner I get angry, and only then I get angry. And even If I get angry, I apologize for being angry and usually I am right since I am the one being pushed into a corner, so I don't ...I just say sorry for being angry.
 

Noll

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How much one holds grudges ought to depend on what the person in question did to you, it is almost impossible to compare oneself to another when one takes into account the very many different experiences with others people do have. That said, I do believe that in general, INFPs and INFJs are very forgiving people. Almost equally so, with the INFP being a little bit more forgiving due to the phobic E6 and E9-bias.
 

Masokissed

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INFJs. Aux. feeling. They kick you out based on Ni. INFPs kick you out based on Fi. INFJs are more harsh about it but less likely to do it.
 

Dreamer

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I was going to say INFP because I do try to understand everyone's point of view and know that everyone makes mistakes so I forgive often BUT it also depends on the situation. I never, ever forget if someone does something shitty that hurts me deeply. And like what's mentioned above, I can hold spite inside forever and all of a sudden unleash rage/revenge unexpectedly.



I do this all the time too. I cut people out of my life ruthlessly.
Maybe I'm a mean INFP? :unsure: Lol

I too, do the same. It actually takes A LOT, for me to dislike someone. People could wrong me left and right, and I'll most likely forgive them, so long as I feel they're genuine about their apology. If they cross the wrong line with me though, or cause deep emotional pain, I shut the door on them so fast without second thought. At that point, it can be difficult for me to allow that person back into my life. Even if I do, there will always be that tinge from when they did hurt me so deeply. A deep emotion is never easy to forget. Tie that with a person, and it can be hard to overcome when someone has overstepped an Fi boundary of yours.
 

Forever

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Please let this thread die. Let's focus on the individual not the mbti group. You only find their mbti when you've been around them long enough to know if they can forgive you for basic things or not. :rolleyes:
 

PotatoPeeler68

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Apr 19, 2016
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INFP
I don't think I'm completely qualified to answer this, but I am an INFP and it seems pretty easy for me to forgive people.
INFJ's are very nice and they do forgive people often, but they can't last forever, I don't think.
 

Wunjo

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From what I can say, if an INFJ forgives you, he or she either likes you a lot and thinks that you do deserve a second shot, or he or she is slowly going to make you put your guard down and you'll end up either sobbing or bleeding, or better yet, a cocktail of both. INFP's are much more likely to forgive and forget, INFJ's do forgive, but they are not likely to forget.
 

Butze

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INFJ
INFJ's do forgive, but they are not likely to forget.
Ditto. I never ever forget if someone truly wrongs me. And my forgiveness is more of a "I need to move on, this is not healthy" than a cristian forgiveness thing.
 

Bolivianinfjgirl

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INFJ view of it: For good or bad, I can't stay mad / hold a grudge / not forgive when forgiveness is pleaded. When my trust has been betrayed, I will probably show it much more intensely than an INFP, but when the emotion cools down, it's gone. It doesn't mean it couldn't take a long time if the betrayal has been severe, but I tend to forgive, cause I don't feel the emotion for long and I can understand the justifications for the person's actions. Not to say there are things that I would probably never be able to forgive - haven't come across for anything like that, but it'd prolly have to do with my values or if the person violates that trust in the first place over and over again and uses my forgiviness that way. I think.

I think it's a Fi Fe thing. When ISFP and I have fights, she tends to hold on grudges for a long time, probably forever, although she will always forgive if you mean the sorry - but I think she has some sort of map inside of her head which has blueprints of our every fight.

But I kind of agree with the poll - INFPs are probably more forgiving. Yes.

I can totally agree with this. INFJs forgive mainly because the emotion cools down and you just end up understanding.
INFPs might feel it longer and even so they are more forgiving! They are so lovely! hahahahhahaha
 
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I think it depends on the offense and the intent (or lack of) of the offender. I'm not the doormat many other types seem to think INFPs are. I've walked away from long term friendships but not over trivialities. Over my life I've rarely stayed mad at someone for years or permanently. That doesn't mean I won't dismiss you for it however. I will forgive you and forget you.
 

Lucy_Ricardo

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INFP
Depends on the relations involved.

An INFP in love would be very forgiving towards their partner. Whereas an INFJ might go around killing you instead.

I second this. I'm an INFP, and with the people I love, there is no end to my forgiveness. It's because my love is hard-won--it takes me a long time to love someone and even longer to let myself get close to them, and I'm not willing to throw that away easily.

BUT with people who I don't love, I can hold on to a grudge until the world's end. I might forgive, with time, but forgetting is nearly out of the question. It's not a pleasant quality, and it's one I've tried to work on.
 
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