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[NF] NF's: Have you ever been called 'too sensitive'?

OrangeAppled

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True.
I do remember someone once metioning to me that they wished to be more sensitive, to emotions and experiencing things and in the intensity, because it would give stronger experiences of things. In that sense it could be considered a strenght.
But qualities that are perceived as more masculine are usually more appreciated; in girls and boys. Atleast by what I've noticed.


Yes...sensitivity = feminine and feminine = weak for many people.

When people call you sensitive, they usually mean it in a negative way, but when I self-describe myself that way, I mean it positively. There's a lot of good things about being sensitive. I think it goes hand-in-hand with being perceptive and empathetic, and even artistic.
 

Tallulah

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No, some having MORE buttons than others, and in unusual places, is perceived as being sensitive. If someone is sensitive to, say, politically incorrect humor...okay, that's fine. Taken alone, it's not enough on its own to deem someone overly sensitive. People have different buttons, like you said. I, for instance, am sensitive (if that's what you can call it) to crude gender humor in the sense that it offends my sensibilities when I hear it, and I have an emotional (albeit slight) reaction to it by becoming irritated.

But when the number of things that a person is sensitive about exceeds a certain point (for instance when the person becomes the "see no evil, hear no evil" type), then I think it is fair to call that person sensitive. I have met quite a few people whose number of buttons were ridiculously high, to the point that I could not discuss or have fun about anything with them. That is what (I at least) consider to be overly sensitive.

:yes: I actually have pretty high Fe, and I will not strive to offend, but there are some people that it's impossible NOT to offend.

I'm weird sometimes, too--I'll get in a mood where someone's phrasing can irritate me, and I get offended that they didn't try to be more careful of how they came across, because I know I would have in the same situation.

I like to think of myself as having thick skin, but if you're close to me, it's a lot easier for you to hurt my feelings. If you're just an acquaintance, I'll probably let it roll. If I care about your opinion of me, you can hurt me.
 

kyuuei

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No, some having MORE buttons than others, and in unusual places, is perceived as being sensitive. If someone is sensitive to, say, politically incorrect humor...okay, that's fine. Taken alone, it's not enough on its own to deem someone overly sensitive. People have different buttons, like you said. I, for instance, am sensitive (if that's what you can call it) to crude gender humor in the sense that it offends my sensibilities when I hear it, and I have an emotional (albeit slight) reaction to it by becoming irritated.

But when the number of things that a person is sensitive about exceeds a certain point (for instance when the person becomes the "see no evil, hear no evil" type), then I think it is fair to call that person sensitive. I have met quite a few people whose number of buttons were ridiculously high, to the point that I could not discuss or have fun about anything with them. That is what (I at least) consider to be overly sensitive.

My apologies on this. allow me to clarify myself, because I have DEFINITELY experienced this as well. Some people are extreme, or so sensitive that they should not be hanging out with the groups they subscribe themselvse to... and it's even more frustrating to know that they refuse to budge to accomodate themselves, they expect the world to change for them.

What I was more referencing is exactly what Trinity said better: Sensitivity at all is seen as feminine, which is seen as weak. BlackCat claimed himself not at all sensitive enough to be considered that, but my rebuttle is he was, and shouldn't be quick to refute that. I added that statement in to show it's not necessarily a bad thing, because what one person thinks is sensitive another does not, but that the stigma for sensitivity is definitely prevelent in his own words.. making him quick to reject the idea of being sensitive.

:yes: I actually have pretty high Fe, and I will not strive to offend, but there are some people that it's impossible NOT to offend.

I'm weird sometimes, too--I'll get in a mood where someone's phrasing can irritate me, and I get offended that they didn't try to be more careful of how they came across, because I know I would have in the same situation.

I like to think of myself as having thick skin, but if you're close to me, it's a lot easier for you to hurt my feelings. If you're just an acquaintance, I'll probably let it roll. If I care about your opinion of me, you can hurt me.

^ I relate to this a lot. The more I open up to people, the more open I become to their insults hurting.. a fair system for the most part, imo.

I'm a huge believer in intent as well.. picking on BlackCat again.. there have been a couple of times that he's said something to offend me.. BUT. Recognizing that his intents probably were not meant to hurt, allowed me to just take a step back, calm down, and then go to him to explain that that was hurtful, and although I don't want him to think he has to shut up everytime I sign on.. I would appreciate refraining from that sort of comment in the future around me at least.

Had it been that I felt he was attacking me "safely" via joke or sarcasm, my offense-o-meter might go way off, which I would react to by (most likely) telling him his faults, and then proceeding to never talk to him again so that he does not have the opportunity to offend in the future.

Had a total stranger said the same thing, I probably would not have even noticed, and it at best would have made for interesting conversation later on with friends.
 

faith

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NF's have you ever been called 'too sensitive'?

Gosh, yes.

My attitude: "Is that the best insight you've got on this situation? 'Cause this news flash is right up there with the sky being blue."
 

BlackCat

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The most common meanings of sensitive don't really apply to me. However I do have some buttons, and do I feel things very intensively regularly. This doesn't mean I cry over everything or anything like that. This was to clarify from what I said before.
 

Dwigie

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The most common meanings of sensitive don't really apply to me. However I do have some buttons, and do I feel things very intensively regularly. This doesn't mean I cry over everything or anything like that. This was to clarify from what I said before.

Same here. I think many people actually tend to step all over our not so "visible" sensitivity. I often get the "you look like a rock/stone/meanie" comment, I don't know about you. I mostly hear that I'm not easy to read in real life though.
(As for crying:
-Except for stress, people yelling at me, tension between people, negative emotions of other people, music+movies at times. Nothing much :tongue:)
 

BlackCat

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I can pretty much agree with your whole statement Dwigie. I get the "you look angry" comments a lot (my picture in my profile is of my normal face... I'm sure you'll see why they say that). In real life I'm also not too easy to read if I don't want to be.

Crying seems to be a way of letting out intensely felt emotions, so when I feel something intensively then I'll tear up and stuff. Movies tend to invoke this response from me if I enjoy it or get absorbed in it. I'll get that feeling of sadness (as in wanting to cry) when I get other people's emotions very intensively or there's tension (again intensively), but I try to not cry. It rarely happens when I hold it back. Most of the time when I do the random tearing up thing it's because of reading something moving, watching something moving, etc. It's usually when no one can see me either, it seems to be great for letting out those excess emotions. You should try it some time.
 

speculative

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I have not been referred to using the term "too sensitive," but I have been referred to as being "too defensive." This is because I over-process everything and often know about big things at work before they happen, seeing "the writing on the wall."
 

Bubbles

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I can pretty much agree with your whole statement Dwigie. I get the "you look angry" comments a lot (my picture in my profile is of my normal face... I'm sure you'll see why they say that). In real life I'm also not too easy to read if I don't want to be.

Crying seems to be a way of letting out intensely felt emotions, so when I feel something intensively then I'll tear up and stuff. Movies tend to invoke this response from me if I enjoy it or get absorbed in it. I'll get that feeling of sadness (as in wanting to cry) when I get other people's emotions very intensively or there's tension (again intensively), but I try to not cry. It rarely happens when I hold it back. Most of the time when I do the random tearing up thing it's because of reading something moving, watching something moving, etc. It's usually when no one can see me either, it seems to be great for letting out those excess emotions. You should try it some time.

Y'know, it's entirely possible that guy INFPs in general just don't let out that stuff if they can help it. Speaking in gender terms, men are socialized to believe (successfully or unsuccessfully, you be the judge) that emotions are to be kept to themselves. Women, in the same manner, are taught to release emotion. Personally, I grew up in a home where people listened if you had a bad day and sympathized (we're MAJORLY F, lol). So I've never really learned how to reign in my feelings; I'm more comfortable letting them show. I've tried the hiding hting, but it makes me look aloof and mean and then I feel guilty and seem bipolar to people because I let my bubbly (get ze pun?) side show. I've got a dreadful pokerface. I express every single thing.

Again, this is a theeeeory. I'm not trying to be sexist; it's just a socially proven fact. There are of course the awesome people who buck the system, and I'm not ragging on them at all. ;)
 

BlackCat

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Oh I totally get it Bubbles. I couldn't imagine letting everything show, I really couldn't. It's not that I think it's wrong, the thought just never crosses my mind. I have no interest in showing how I feel to everyone, it's only to people I care about. That's when I let my emotions out, is out the people I trust.

Maybe it's just a male thing. Who knows. I hope to examine male vs female and MBTI type in my overview of typology with Costrin, so maybe that study will shed some light on the situation.
 

OrangeAppled

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I thought INFPs were known for seeming quite stoic to strangers, and very emotional with the few people they let in.
 

Bubbles

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I thought INFPs were known for seeming quite stoic to strangers, and very emotional with the few people they let in.

Okay, for me this is kinda true. Ish. I hate seeming stoic, though, so when I get into stoic mode (which is more like "I don't know what to say to strangers" mode) I feel like a complete jerk and do everything I can to prove to the stranger that I'm not really an aloof loner. I got accused of being a snob once, and it just made me sad inside. :( Besides, being stoic and then getting emotionally heated over something makes me look hot-headed, too. Which I'm not. At all! So I try not to be misleading, and make myself act a little outside my comfort zone.
 

Salvadorabian

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Yes. It seems to be the go to response by my family anytime I am offended by their words or actions. It is very frustrating.
 

tkae.

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Yes, all the time lol

At this point in my life I'm finding people who accept sensitivity as a valuable personal trait, mostly my creative writing and English professors, but I still hear some kind of comment on my heightened sensitivity pretty often.

I like being sensitive, better that than the alternative :)
 

Such Irony

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Can T's play too? I'm close on T/F

In all honesty, I'm pretty sensitive. Most of my coworkers and friends and acquaintances don't see me as particularly sensitive or insensitive. Just kinda average. My mom though, thinks sometimes I'm overly sensitive about certain stuff. I guess, I try to hide alot of my vulnerabilities inside, sharing them only with select people.

I don't take criticism very well. Even constructive criticism, better give me alot of positives to go with it so it's easier to take.

I rarely cry over books or movies but there are a few that have caused me to tear up. There are a few songs that have that effect too.
 

chickpea

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yes, but i think i get called the opposite a lot more often.

 

Viridian

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Can T's play too? I'm close on T/F

In all honesty, I'm pretty sensitive. Most of my coworkers and friends and acquaintances don't see me as particularly sensitive or insensitive. Just kinda average. My mom though, thinks sometimes I'm overly sensitive about certain stuff. I guess, I try to hide alot of my vulnerabilities inside, sharing them only with select people.

I don't take criticism very well. Even constructive criticism, better give me alot of positives to go with it so it's easier to take.

I rarely cry over books or movies but there are a few that have caused me to tear up. There are a few songs that have that effect too.

I can relate to a lot of this.
 

cacaia

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I'm always called too sensitive especially by S and T types.
My INTP husband still gets confused when he makes a joke that doesn't go down well with me. I am a bit better lately at explaining to him exactly what it was that triggered an emotional response. I like how open to this he is.
My mother, brother and father, however, just don't get it and really call me too sensitive and to "grow up". Really, people? I am reaching my forties, here!
 
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