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[Se] Seeing through Lies?

TheEmeraldCanopy

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2009
Messages
280
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
Are NFP's more gullible than the NFJ's? Why do you think this is so?

My guess would be that NFP's have a tendency to believe others have good intentions within, while NFJ's are more likely to see motives much more realistically.

I feel I can be both extremely gullible and on other occasions, feel something is slightly off about what a person says and not trust them. Because this is feeling based instead of factually based, I can look back on my feelings from that past moment of distrust and wonder if it really had any grounding in reality (distrust my own feelings). Then I feel completely stupid that I made such an assumption when it could be entirely wrong. At times I find myself completely unsure of how to feel towards people because of this.

How do NFPs and NFJs read people, and what people say, differently?
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
If I trust someone, I will assume they have good intentions. If someone I trust does something with a bad intent then I will probably question it in my mind, and if it really is of a bad intent then I'll jump on it and start asking questions etc. I'm not that gullible, I'm not always stuck in lala land. I always look for someone's actions to not be genuine, it's like an internal radar. I am not gullible for the most part.

I will post another reply later when I have more time to further answer your query.
 

TheEmeraldCanopy

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2009
Messages
280
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
I just wanted to add that I don't mean to say that NFPs are gullible. That was not the best word choice. What I mean is that I feel we are more willing to trust others and wanted to know if this is the general consensus or not (although everyone is different). Based on this trust (if you believe this is the case in general), do you think it's easier for us to be strung along at times by others (such as staying in a bad relationship when it may never change) or convinced of something by others? I am not by any means saying that NFPs can't detect this sort of stuff; it's only from my own personal observations that I've noticed my NFJ friend is much better at it than myself (and again, this is only one specific example and doesn't apply to all NFPs and NFJs).

(I'm not saying this to offend anyone; I apologize if I do offend anyone.)

I ask this question because I know this is one of the biggest differences between my INFJ friend and I. She is much more distrustful of people in general and seems to read them so well, whereas I sometimes feel very unsure of how to interpret others. She picks up on people's wants and needs so well, which I guess is the Fe at work. It fascinates me how she can tell me the reasoning behind another person's behavior or feelings within seconds of me explaining the situation to her, while I, on the other hand, have been thinking it over, walking down different avenues of possible answers, for hours.
 

BerberElla

12 and a half weeks
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
2,725
MBTI Type
infp
I'm pretty good at seeing through people's lies, but voice or face needs to be involved in order to pick up on certain cues. Actually I'm not even sure I am recognising any specific details, more that I can "feel" the lie in the words.

Knowing it's happening and confronting the issue doesn't happen the instant I feel the lie, I will usually offer a line so that they can save themselves by taking back the lie, if they don't take the line they will then be confronted with my full wrathful storm lol.

I can not stand people who lie to me since I am such an accepting person anyway it's just not necessary to lie.
 

Into It

New member
Joined
Aug 30, 2008
Messages
664
MBTI Type
ENFP
Fi is responsible for sensing sincerity, hence NFP's should be less gullible based on this function alone. However, Intuition is the key function here, and NFP's use Ne while NFJ's use Ni. As Ni focuses on the most likely outcome of any given situation, it should be very able to check insincerity if coupled with an F function. Ne on the other hand would be likely to come up with both of the conclusions - that he is sincere and insincere - and entertain them as if they were both true. The Fi would give the charlatan the benefit of the doubt, unlike Ti would. Therefore, NFP's are probably the most gullible types.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4, 7
Based on this trust (if you believe this is the case in general), do you think it's easier for us to be strung along at times by others (such as staying in a bad relationship when it may never change) or convinced of something by others?
Sometimes, when we care about people, love makes us blind in a sense that aspects of ourselves want to see the *best* in others, a part of us is in denial? So when we ask someone outside looking in (since there isn't an emotional attachment), they can give a more objective view?

I know in the past, when I felt 'it,' part of me didn't want to believe the lie. Part of me was in denial. When I give the person a chance to explain, and they continue to lie, that's when I feel a slap-in-the-face. Afterwords, I realize when someone lies to me, it's really about them (how they feel inside), whatever underlying reasons there are. That is when it appears as though I get strung along.
 

r0wo1

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2008
Messages
185
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
If I trust someone, I will assume they have good intentions.

I agree! Im not particularly gullible but I am very trusting and those that I know well I tend to trust unconditionally (unless of course they have proven themselves to be untrustworthy). The question in my mind is "Why would they lie about this... or anything?" My initial reaction is to trust, unless of course the statement is too ridiculous to be considered, or the person's motives to lie are visible.
 

Jeremy

New member
Joined
Dec 24, 2008
Messages
426
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
9w1
I consider myself pretty gullible. I don't like to believe that people have bad intentions most of the time, and if they prove to me consistently that they do, then I'll be wary around them. My gullibility doesn't stem from an inability to determine that someone has negative intent, but from the fact that I tend to ignore that little pressure I feel inside when I know I'm being lied to (or that a person is a jerk). Mostly because the few times that I've proved myself wrong were more pleasant than the many more times I've been right.
 

Stanton Moore

morose bourgeoisie
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
3,900
MBTI Type
INFP
I never get fooled by people's intentions. I can smell them from some distance. It's a skill I developed over the years, and being suspicious is general. I tend to err on the side of suspicion though...
 

Rachelinpa

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
878
MBTI Type
ENFP
What I mean is that I feel we are more willing to trust others and wanted to know if this is the general consensus or not

Definitely true of me. However, I think I usually know if someone is untrustworthy or carries some bad characteristics. I wouldn't say I'm gullible. I consciously ignore any negative thoughts I have about a person if I can see any good in them. I focus on the good because I want to believe the best of others and believe that people can change. I have a hard time not taking that possibility into account. The P part of the enfP let's my Ne run wild and I can't help think of how great that person could be and all of their potential. The possibility isn't unlikely perhaps, but it isn't what I'm faced with at present.
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Fi is responsible for sensing sincerity, hence NFP's should be less gullible based on this function alone. However, Intuition is the key function here, and NFP's use Ne while NFJ's use Ni. As Ni focuses on the most likely outcome of any given situation, it should be very able to check insincerity if coupled with an F function. Ne on the other hand would be likely to come up with both of the conclusions - that he is sincere and insincere - and entertain them as if they were both true. The Fi would give the charlatan the benefit of the doubt, unlike Ti would. Therefore, NFP's are probably the most gullible types.

i like your ideas. Ne seems more open to going with it and seeing what happens, whereas Ni would prompt constrictedness when it detected potential incongruencies. Fi DOES detect sincerity as far as feelings go, bc it KNOWS what real feeling is like. Fe detects falseness in expression/articulation/gesture, context, etc, while being boosted by the Ni pattern recognition, coherency, complex-framing ability, etc. nfps are often stunningly perceptive, but they can be so open they can choose to ignore the warning signs, allow second chances, continue GIVING, etc.
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Ni/Ne in a Si/Se World

xNFPs more gullible than xNFJs? Doubtful. I think it's more likely that they are less willing to act on their intuitions because they prefer more time and information. I think there's also a larger tendency to want to give people second and third chances at redemption, thus purposefully disregarding initial hunches whereas an xNFJ "just has other sh*t to do" and can't be bothered with fence-riding. There's also the desire to avoid conflict which is inherent to all NFs, however (and this is a big however) if the issue warrants it, the xNFJ is much more likely to grab it by the balls rather than dance around it. I think both types are liable to second guess themselves until they are older and feel firmer wielding their intuitive blade.

Time and again I have learned that I usually regret second guessing myself about people and things. I do it less the older I get because I've decided to put more faith in my instincts (or as I now say, my intuition) and I feel better for it. My INFP boyfriend requires more external support to outwardly react to his own instincts and he will sound-board me with his personal suspicions for a confirm/deny then move forward accordingly.

I also think this is contrary to popular assumptions regarding NFs in general, which is that we consult our "gut feelings" first and disregard data. I think many of us from an early age are redirected to "have proof" or "have a good reason" before reaching conclusions or exercising personal judgment. I know I was. My SJ mother and SP grandmother drilled this dogma into my brain repeatedly when I was avoidant of people that made me wary without visible cause. I've had to unlearn much of that in order to be more confident in myself and my decision-making.

Like it or not, it's a Sensor world and we're just Intuitive squirrels tryin' to get a nut.

241599467_6ed4f38ec2.jpg
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I am not very gullible. I do like to give the benefit of the doubt & see the best in people, but if I sense something is off, then I will keep on guard with them.

I can tell when people are lying much of the time. I had a friend who was fond of telling "stories" and I would call her on them. A lot of other people just ate up everything she said.

The more I trust someone, the less gullible I may be actually, simply because in order to trust them I know them well and can read them even better than others.

There's a few things I may be gullible with, and one is when people tell you something with a straight face, but are totally joking. I fall for that sometimes. :D
 

mortabunt

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 10, 2009
Messages
963
MBTI Type
type
Enneagram
5
To see through lies, hire an INTP. They are like real world truthsayers. They also come with an inborn BS detecting talent.
 

whimsical

New member
Joined
Feb 27, 2009
Messages
351
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
4
I'd say I'm pretty good at reading people, their motives, and where they are coming from. I can usually tell if they are lying or not.
 

Gengar

New member
Joined
Apr 9, 2009
Messages
71
MBTI Type
INFP
To see through lies, hire an INTP. They are like real world truthsayers. They also come with an inborn BS detecting talent.

LOL! That's quite accurate actually. I have an INTP friend who always tells me of the 'logical contradictions' made by others.

As for being more trusting, I'd say I'm a lot more skeptical than most of my other friends. Generally, though, I think INFPs are more willing to trust than INFJs. This is because INFJs have a tendency to figure everything out themselves. You could give answers to an INFJ, but he/she won't accept it unless the answers came soley from their own minds. INFPs tend to be more accepting at this (not that we like to get spoonfed), but we happen to accept answers more easily.

This thing about being able to detect other's intentions, I'd say that's my greatest weakness. For some reason, whenever I detect other people are deliberately trying to hurt me for whatever bad reason they have, I get angry. Reaaaaaal frustrated. The more I get frustrated the more that others can tell (since my face says it all). And the more others can tell the more I get even more frustrated. Sensisitivity can be a double edged sword.
 
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