[ENFJ] ENFJ growth (Books? Advice?)

[Cronkle]

What books what you recommend to an ENFJ trying to grow as a person?

Similarly, what personal advice would you give for one to develop?

 

[SpottingTrains]

Bumping this.

I'm really interested in what kind of literature other ENFJs have really connected with.

 

[Sentura]

for all Ns, i would always recommend reading the fountainhead by ayn rand. i consider it somewhat of a base philosophy that you can compare with any other good literature.

keep in mind that i am Ne dominant though, so you will most likely perceive it differently than i. and again, since i'm not Fe dominant, i don't know what else i could recommend for your specific type.

 

[Cronkle]

I've read a lot of Vonnegut. Like, a lot, a lot. I'd recommend him. Daniel Clowes is also good, to throw someone else out there, off the top of my head.

 

[bearette]

If you go to The Personality Page, there is a really good section on "personal growth" for each type (click on top of page). The whole page is well-written and very helpful.

 

[IEE623]

try "tuesdays with morrie"

"fountainhead" recommended by sentura is too extreme, it'd wreck all benevolent and courteous ENFJs, which I wouldn't want to see.

 

[SpottingTrains]

I'm about halfway through Atlas Shrugged and I absolutely despise her handling of tertiary character development. She uses the same inept, unthinking character template for every single character other than the key figures so far.

Tuesdays with Morrie looks really interesting, I will definitely have to pick that up . Thanks.

 

[Riva]

What books what you recommend to an ENFJ trying to grow as a person?

Similarly, what personal advice would you give for one to develop?

the prince by Machiavelli

you guys could afford to be a bit corrupt.

 

[SpottingTrains]

the prince by Machiavelli

you guys could afford to be a bit corrupt.

This made my laugh my ass off haha, thanks.

 

[Riva]

This made my laugh my ass off haha, thanks.

seriously you should read it. or you should read the ENTJ or ENTP profiles every morning.

 

[Domino]

I've been altered by C.S. Lewis' "The Problem of Pain". Talk about a mind bender worth several reads. Also, "Dark Night of the Soul", written in antiquity by St. John de la Cruz, and most anything by Seneca, the Stoic. He really moved me.

I love John Stuart Mill, Walter Pater, D.H. Lawrence, the Brontes etc.

 

[SpottingTrains]

I've been altered by C.S. Lewis' "The Problem of Pain". Talk about a mind bender worth several reads. Also, "Dark Night of the Soul", written in antiquity by St. John de la Cruz, and most anything by Seneca, the Stoic. He really moved me.

I love John Stuart Mill, Walter Pater, D.H. Lawrence, the Brontes etc.

Can someone with a non-religious background get the full message of those books? Just skimming the reviews on Amazon makes me a little wary that I won't get the message or really understand the point of view.

 

[Domino]

Well, that's a good point, Trains. I suppose I tend to view spiritual/mystic stuff almost remotely sometimes. To me, Lewis is more than the sum of his parts, so I take away a lot from his critical essays (INTJ?.. I find relief in his logic).

I'm not jazzed about "religious" writing personally, and tend to shy away from it.

Seneca (and the others listed besides Cruz) are entirely secular (or at least write that way). Lawrence for sure was no angel. lol Steamy guy.

You know, my INFJ father is a big fan of Vonnegut. He says he feels like "Slaughterhouse Five" is an incarnation of his Ni.

 

[SpottingTrains]

Interesting, I will definitely check some of that stuff out. I have to way to many books piled up on my desk right now that need reading: Catch 22, Brave New World, Sense and Sensibility, Crime and Punishment... and I just started Guns, Germs, and Steel.

Vonnegut, for me, always felt like I was reading his books from an arm's reach away. Never fully immersed in what he was describing. To be fair I have only read Slaughterhouse Five but my initial reading of it just didn't seem to click with me.

 

[Domino]

Vonnegut makes me feel like I've unwittingly smoked something. Too existential for me. My dad seems to like that sort of thing.

Dad and I can agree that James Thurber is pretty hilarious, especially the stories about his family.

 

[SpottingTrains]

Vonnegut makes me feel like I've unwittingly smoked something. Too existential for me. My dad seems to like that sort of thing.

Dad and I can agree that James Thurber is pretty hilarious, especially the stories about his family.

Any specific pieces you can recommend from him !

 

[Domino]

Ah! Certainly!

"My Life and Hard Times" and/or "The Thurber Carnival". His family was incredibly weird. His "parables" are hysterical too. I always liked his version of Little Red Riding Hood which ends with her shooting the wolf with a gun and the moral was : "Little girls aren't so easily tricked as they used to be" or something ridiculous.

 

[substitute]

Try the "role reversal" technique. Quite a lot of people predict others' behaviour based on their own, but I find ENFJ's don't seem to do this - they seem to expect others to be assholes and only themselves to do what's right, subconsciously at least*. If you think that somebody would be offended or act unreasonably if you told them a problem you have, try imagining they came to you with the same query and think whether you'd be angry or not. If you wouldn't, if you'd be reasonable and listen, then there's a high chance the other person will also. My ENFJ sister told me this one by the way - she says it helps her pucker up to the task, where she would otherwise have just kept it inside "to keep the peace" until it escalated beyond repair.


*by which I mean, "hold themselves to higher standards than they expect of others". Just reflect on that a little bit, and think about how that might manifest itself in a negative way - how it could be rather insulting to others and make you appear or seem self-righteous.

 

[SpottingTrains]

Ah! Certainly!

"My Life and Hard Times" and/or "The Thurber Carnival". His family was incredibly weird. His "parables" are hysterical too. I always liked his version of Little Red Riding Hood which ends with her shooting the wolf with a gun and the moral was : "Little girls aren't so easily tricked as they used to be" or something ridiculous.

Haha, that sounds amazing, definitely going to check those out. I am also guessing that substitute's post was meant for the other thread >.>

 

[substitute]

I am also guessing that substitute's post was meant for the other thread >.>

It said "advice?" So I gave some advice that came from my ENFJ sister, and some that I've given her that she's said has been useful.