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[MBTI General] Who here has experienced "limerance?"

CrystalViolet

lab rat extraordinaire
Joined
Oct 24, 2008
Messages
2,152
MBTI Type
XNFP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I didn't know it had a name....oh.
 

nanook

a scream in a vortex
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Messages
1,361
no, the most irrational crush i had, lasted two years. but it wasn't that extreme, either.

i was 18 years and the girl looked a little like NataschaMcElhorne. i had never talked to her about anything personal.

i always have a very mild crush on several people. its more like enjoining the beauty. not primarily referring to looks! but as mild as it is, it still affects me, as an attachment.
 

istar11

New member
Joined
Feb 17, 2009
Messages
21
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w3
No pills!!! Don't numb the human condition - our ability to feel is what makes living worth while.

And besides, without feeling, how can one be creative? :D

Amen on that one. But it IS definitely related to neurochemistry and physiology. After all, there are a lot of DHT receptors in the heart for testosterone, etc...

I guess I was mainly wondering which type - INFP, ENFP, ENFJ, or INFJ - most experience this sort of feeling. My guess is INFP, since they are the hopeless romantics and wear their hearts on their sleeves, but i've known some obsessive-compulsive female ENFJs who go crazy like this over men they clearly aren't meant for.

I've heard that both characters in Romeo + Juliet were a) INFP, and b) both in limerance, so that's what got me thinking...
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I've never had a relationship that didn't start that way.

Sounds like something that's supposed to sound like a problem but is instead just how some people are built.
 

batumi

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
177
MBTI Type
infj
I've felt something like this towards certain ideas, paradigms, and ways of seeing things. At one point, I think I actually felt something like this towards MBTI and Jungian theory. Other times I can feel it towards a particular style of story, a particular theme, quality, or archetype.

As far as people, though? I don't think so, although the feeling might just not have lasted long enough before I ended up focused on something more abstract and expansive than the person themselves.

YES! Thank you. I have experienced something like this for a place or two
and for cultures as well, I believe.
 

iwakar

crush the fences
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
4,877
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I suppose I have before. Ick.

But when it is involuntary (i.e. decidedly unwanted) I will mentally stab the f*ck out of it till it goes away. Voilà. This seems contradictory to my INFP mate who becomes spellbound by this sort of state and lacks the weaponry to destroy it utterly.
 

Salomé

meh
Joined
Sep 25, 2008
Messages
10,527
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Errrm....nope. Sounds irrational.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
(Insert obligatory "love is rational" post here)
 

Skyward

Badoom~
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
1,084
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
9w1
i always have a very mild crush on several people. its more like enjoining the beauty. not primarily referring to looks! but as mild as it is, it still affects me, as an attachment.

Me too, and I thought of it the same way. Now I have a definitive name for it. I guess I experience minor forms of Limerance all the time for a lot of things. From ideas to people of either gender. Limerance isn't a romantic state of mind for me, but I guess it can lead to romance. One problem I have is that my stronger Ti tends to squash The L when it gets the data to do so. I guess it's perfectionism coming in before I put them too high on the pedestal.
 

kuranes

Active member
Joined
Apr 20, 2007
Messages
1,067
MBTI Type
XNXP
Never experienced his piano playing personally. I've heard of him, of course, and his swishy Las Vegas schtick/act. When he would hear from critics, his much imitated reply was "I laugh all the way to the bank." I think he's dead now.
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
yup, been there. Must be crushed as it ends up being distracting. I actually get really get kind of mad at the person as I dont like it that they have crossed my boundaries and that I have a hard time not thinking about them. It's not thier fault I guess, but usually something about them will cause Ne-Fi to start gushing and being stupid and moderately OCD like for a few weeks.
 

Serendipity

the Dark Prophet of Kualu
Joined
Mar 24, 2009
Messages
852
MBTI Type
RAD
No pills!!! Don't numb the human condition - our ability to feel is what makes living worth while.

And besides, without feeling, how can one be creative? :D

I know! I know! XD
I wouldn't take any even if there were pills. xD
Not any more at least.
 

Words of Ivory

facettes de la petite mor
Joined
Jun 19, 2010
Messages
492
MBTI Type
INFJ
Isn't this essentially just another term for infatuation?

I think we've all been there at some point or another.
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
hahahaha, hahahahahahaha.....Look my answer from last year!

If I had only known.....limerace is nightmarish...

avoid the person at all costs and recognize that you are forming an internal representation of them that may be an incorrect emotional projection of what you think they feel. FiSi FTW. Limerence is like being caught of the cusp of a crush that cannot quite be real, but might possibly be real. Another possibility would be to be very direct with the person and let them know you are interested and request that they let you know if they are interested. Let them know it's okay if they are not into you.
 

SilentStream

New member
Joined
Jan 14, 2009
Messages
60
MBTI Type
INTP
Isn't this essentially just another term for infatuation?

I think we've all been there at some point or another.

Yeah I think so too. Apparently the feeling is caused by low serotonin levels in the brain, giving the same appearance as someone with OCD :shock:

Another possibility would be to be very direct with the person and let them know you are interested and request that they let you know if they are interested. Let them know it's okay if they are not into you.

It's the most uncomfortable state of mind I've ever been in. Ugh.
I already know the person likes and is attracted to me, but I still feel the same way...

I can't get anything done because of all the intrusive daydreaming.
And it's not like I'm idealising the person, I am quite aware of all their faults, and the things that annoy me about them - but it doesn't make any difference.
 

soft

New member
Joined
May 1, 2010
Messages
61
MBTI Type
infp
My guess is INFP, since they are the hopeless romantics and wear their hearts on their sleeves

:huh:
why does everyone always say that INFPs wear their hearts on their sleeves? i am incredibly unemotional around most people.. and i would say there is actually nobody that knows how much i really feel. i keep it all inside.. maybe i'm not INFP?

and i am experiencing this right now... everyday i go through an internal struggle
just let her go! :cry:

how can i let go of the most real thing i've ever felt? :wubbie:

arrrrgghhhhh :steam:

i like to think that my chances with her aren't hopeless.. but maybe that's just the limerance
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
I have felt it, but I rationalized the feelings enough, after acting upon them and failing that it didn't take too long to get over her... just about three years. Sometimes the thoughts still intrude, but I understand why and they don't really effect me.
 
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