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[MBTI General] Who here has experienced "limerance?"

P

Phantonym

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I certainly have. It can be wonderful and give you wings. :blush: I don't really recall anything that negative about it. But it's been years since the last time.

Dunno about involuntary, I always feel in control :[
But when it is involuntary (i.e. decidedly unwanted) I will mentally stab the f*ck out of it till it goes away.

Yes, I can definitely relate to this. I always feel in control, I haven't had any problems with getting rid of the feelings. It does take time, though, but it's not agony, that's for sure.
 

kyli_ryan

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From Wikipedia (Limerence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)...

Limerent fantasy is unsatisfactory unless rooted in reality[citation needed], because the fantasizer may want the fantasy to seem realistic and somewhat possible.
...
Otherwise, the long fantasy is anticipatory; it begins in the everyday world and climaxes at the attainment of the limerent goal. A limerent fantasy can also involve an unusual, often tragic, event.

The long fantasies form bridges between the limerent's ordinary life and that intensely desired ecstatic moment. The duration and complexity of a fantasy depend on the availability of time and freedom from distractions. The bliss of the imagined moment of consummation is greater when events imagined to precede it are possible.

In fact they often represent grave departures from the probable.

This makes complete sense to me. I didn't know it was strange to have those kind of fantasies... I have found myself getting to a point where I can see progression in the relationship, but it's not enough to make me reassured. I think that the "daydream"-like fantasies that are grounded in reality are really a tool to feel more secure with the progression of the relationship...

Thinking positively, if you will? :wubbie:
 

Tiltyred

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The way the articles talk about it really sets my teeth on edge.
 

Halla74

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What's the difference between "limerance" and "lust?" :thinking:

Do we really need a flashy new name for lust?

I think not. :violin:
 

Halla74

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The way the articles talk about it really sets my teeth on edge.

Exactly. It sounds like a complete psycho-weirdo having a fit of lust in a really nasty sort of way. :thumbdown:

I don't like it.
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
What's the difference between "limerance" and "lust?" :thinking:

Do we really need a flashy new name for lust?

I think not. :violin:

The extent at which it can last beyond the intial feeling and after the core of the feeling faded. This is how I saw it.
 

Cephalonimbus

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Liberace_fur.jpg



But yes i'm very familiar with that feeling. I can't even remember the last time i wasn't... limerating :huh:
 

Pixelholic

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I don't think I have... for better or for worse..
 

CuriousFeeling

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Not sure if I have. I have experienced crushes that lasted for years, but they've been less lust/ physical desire oriented and more emotional.
 
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Isn't this essentially just another term for infatuation?

I think we've all been there at some point or another.

That's what I thought. I was trying to figure out what the difference was. I'm guessing this is just another common, normal human condition that we've come to describe as a malady because it's irrational.
 

angell_m

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Limerance is defined in the awesome people's dictionary as; When an NF temperament falls in love.






(Stereotype fun.)
 

Cheshire Grin

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ORSINO

If music be the food of love, play on,
Give me excess of it, that surfeiting,
The appetite may sicken and so die.
That strain again, it had a dying fall.
O, it came o'er my ear like the sweet sound
That breathes upon a bank of violets,
Stealing and giving odour. Enough, no more,
'Tis not so sweet now as it were before.

O spirit of love, how quick and fresh art thou,
That notwithstanding thy capacity
Receiveth as the sea
, naught enters there,
Of what validity and pitch so e'er,
But falls into abatement and low price
Even in a minute! So full of shapes is fancy
That it alone is high fantastical.


Twelfth Night, I.i

Hmm, I think it’s different from lust. Lust is usually just a strong sexual craving for somebody and as far as my understanding goes it consists mainly of ‘physical’ want. Limerence is where the perceived image of the object of affection holds an incredible amount of power emotionally/mentally over the one who is ‘limerating.’ In fantasies you would do anything to obtain them: burn bridges, put on noble displays of heroism, suffer great pain just to have them want you back…with lust you just want to rip off their clothing in the hotel corridor :p. In the text posted by the OP it says that “physical contact with the object is neither essential nor sufficient to an individual experiencing limerence, unlike one experiencing sexual attraction....”

I think it’s more than just daydreaming about a person and thinking about them constantly. It’s quite normal to

• Think of the person you like while you’re cooking dinner and wonder what it would be like to have dinner together
• Think of the person when you see a couple on the street holding hands and imagine holding their hand
• Think of them while going to bed and imagine them sleeping beside you
• Fantasize about doing activities together

I wouldn’t say that somebody with those kinds of thoughts are in a state of limerence. If you’ve really taken to someone of course you’re going to think about them all the time. After all, you want them around. It doesn’t necessarily mean that something is wrong with you. Some people are just better at focusing on the activities they have to do daily while others are more susceptible to experiencing intrusive thoughts of the person they adore.

So if limerence is based on fantasizing about obtaining somebody (great now I just made people sound like cars or something), what happens if the affection is returned by the subject? It doesn’t make much sense to continue fantasizing about having them when you already have them, or is that part of the underlying idea?
 
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