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[MBTI General] How often do you hide your emotions?

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,723
I would not be suprised that there is already a slimilar thread.

I am watching NFs(and SFs) on this forum and it looks to me that a number of people is much "softer" then people in reality.

The most obvious conclusion why things look this way is because in reality people really hide their emotions. Probably because they make them vulnerable.

So, how often are you afraid that people will figure out what you are actually feeling?

Also I think that this is one of the main reasons why many Fs can look like Ts in real liife.
 

BlackCat

Shaman
Joined
Nov 19, 2008
Messages
7,038
MBTI Type
ESFP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I always hide my emotions in my daily life. Most people who know about MBTI mistake me for an INTP when they see me in the real world. However there are some differences, they are just subtle. I am generally "softer" than thinkers, even though I mask my emotions. I'm not as logical about stuff either. I am driven by the desire for inner peace (like if something is bothering me then it will be noticeable by my facial expressions, and I'll have to get it off my chest). Those are pretty subtle things though.

I'm not really afraid of someone finding out how I am feeling. I do however try to avoid letting the person know my deeper emotions or deeper feelings about something unless they are close to me or trusted. I don't know whether that is an NF thing or INFP thing or what.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i generally feel comfortable enough not to need to and i don't do fake. i usually feel pretty positively towards people and if i do have an issue i typically approach it with the intent to resolve it so have no problem stating my opinion.
 

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
I think F is very misunderstood in general. A healthy F is in control of his/her emotions most of the time. Just because I'm passionate about my values does not mean I lose my temper when dealing with adversity. If that were the case I'd be in constant distress since I have a good idea about how I feel about most things - meaning I have a well defined stance in most scenarios as far as what is the right and wrong course of action.

Yes, no one in real life would ever guess I'm an F, if they went for the cruder definition. It's funny because the other day I introduced MBTI to two close friends of mine, who I've known for 12 years, and they both agreed I was a T. Based on what? Surprise, surprise, I do logic and "removed" and I don't lose my calm! :p

If Ts are generally given credit for their ease with logic then Fs should generally be given credit for their ease with emotions. Ease does not equate transparency, but rather, control and relativization.

I don't think it's a "F vs T" phenomenon so much as a "the internet and being anonymous" phenomenon. Assuming this is indeed a fact.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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ENFP
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784
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sx/sp
that's a good point sy...i think i do feel comfortable because i'm confident in my ability to express myself in a calm, tactful manner.
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Whenever I'm around strongly expressed Ts who I think might be intimidated by emotions.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,723
I think F is very misunderstood in general. A healthy F is in control of his/her emotions most of the time. Just because I'm passionate about my values does not mean I lose my temper when dealing with adversity. If that were the case I'd be in constant distress since I have a good idea about how I feel about most things - meaning I have a well defined stance in most scenarios as far as what is the right and wrong course of action.

Yes, no one in real life would ever guess I'm an F, if they went for the cruder definition. It's funny because the other day I introduced MBTI to two close friends of mine, who I've known for 12 years, and they both agreed I was a T. Based on what? Surprise, surprise, I do logic and "removed" and I don't lose my calm! :p

If Ts are generally given credit for their ease with logic then Fs should generally be given credit for their ease with emotions. Ease does not equate transparency, but rather, control and relativization.

I don't think it's a "F vs T" phenomenon so much as a "the internet and being anonymous" phenomenon. Assuming this is indeed a fact.

I am not suprised. I know one guy and I couldn't type him. Everything I tryed did not work well and then one day it all become clear.
The guy is actually hidden ENFP. (probably)

We were never close but the guy was always somehow unusual for a guy,
He was too kind.

I know him from quite sometime but I had to go letter by letter for things to make sense.

This is the main reason why I believe you that you are ENFP.
 

zarc

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
2,629
MBTI Type
Zzzz
Antisocial one said:
So, how often are you afraid that people will figure out what you are actually feeling?

I could care less if someone notices surface emotions, although I am and appear mostly indifferent more often than not so it's hard for most people to discern anything other than aloofness. Of deeper feelings they're always hidden, mostly because I wouldn't know what they were unless they punched me in the face. And I'm sometimes chickenshit of getting a bloody nose when I spy a fist.

I am watching NFs(and SFs) on this forum and it looks to me that a number of people is much "softer" then people in reality.

NF/SF being softer. Not necessarily true. If I were to compare myself to most 'softer' F people in this reality I wouldn't see myself as an F. In concrete reality if I compare myself to people I recognise as being T, I'd think they're deformed buggy Fs while I'm the emotionlessly scrupulous T. F doesn't equal emotions. T doesn't equal logic. Ji (Fi/Ti) scrutinizes them inwardly and Je (Fe/Te) assess them outwardly but this is one aspect of how they work. And it doesn't mean they'll work easier for you just because you've got them, you have to make them work. More bellows below.

Also I think that this is one of the main reasons why many Fs can look like Ts in real liife.

Yea, Fs types can appear less emotional than Ts but I don't think those reasons you have hold for all F types.

Sytpg said:
If Ts are generally given credit for their ease with logic then Fs should generally be given credit for their ease with emotions. Ease does not equate transparency, but rather, control and relativization.

If is right lol. I agree. Neither should be given an easy credit just for having the skill but how they develop and maintain them consistently over time. A person in control of themselves, with their F and T functions, will not easily succumb to volatile feelings or ill use of logic, regarding their own or others', as often than an imbalanced person would.
 

janey_girl

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2009
Messages
74
MBTI Type
INtJ
It's a tough one... I am very emotional and can let my emotions out, but it surprises people when I do, I get comments like "I thought you were strong" - that kind of upsets me, that I'm there for others to share how they feel and allow them the safety of showing their emotions, but when I do it means they are often not happy with the dynamics... I guess it's like a teacher halfway through a lesson saying to his class "I'm not sure about this next bit - you teach me"....

I need to cry though, there are times when it's all locked up inside and a good cry is the only way out, usually because of the above, it's on my own - there are very few people I can now cry in front of - sad but true!
 

Rangler

New member
Joined
Jan 19, 2009
Messages
319
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
3w8
I'm pretty quick to express the positive emotions. I'm open with my negative emotions to a point, but if I get too frustrated, or disappointed, or angry I just shut up, shut down, and leave. I need to deal with things on my own and cool off, before I'm able to communicate with someone again.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
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4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
While I don't do "fake", I will employ a distance between me and whatever/whomever it is I have to deal with, esp if I'm nursing wounds or not able to roll with what comes next. Even though I talk about feelings a lot and understand them pretty well overall, I find that I'm way more cloaked than my ENFP sister who has a level of "not going to hide it" that I admire but find painful to even consider.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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Nov 5, 2008
Messages
14,717
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ENFP
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4dw
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sx/so
I used to be an open book..nowadays I'm a book that easily opens if you just take the effort do open it up, so no I don't hide my emotions if one looks closely. There are however pages that have been sealed off. Not that many, but certain things are...too sensitive to handle and I don't wanna overwhelm people, so those I keep hidden. I'm more silly on the internet than irl, as there I get less often the chance to go silly without being 'socially inappropriate'. And I do feel sorta safer here than irl, so I'll be less carefull and withdrawn here...till you get me on vent, or msn, or irl. Then the difference is clear.
 

batumi

New member
Joined
Jan 31, 2008
Messages
177
MBTI Type
infj
Quite often, always in public or with those I have not known long.
I generally like everything nicely safe in my head - until I come across some kind of cruelty or need for change in the world. And then it all comes out.
Look out.
 

kiddykat

movin melodies
Joined
Jul 27, 2008
Messages
1,111
MBTI Type
ENFP
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4, 7
For me, F, relates to how I make my decisions, in relation to how it may/may not effect others, including myself. It's a personal/subjective approach.

In terms of showing emotions, depends on the person I'm talking to?

Vulnerability to me, is a separate matter. It's truly circumstantial. Depends on the context of the situation. I show that side more, when I feel that there is a sense of acceptance, understanding, when it's appropriate. In a way, it's about validation, knowing I can trust the other person enough to let my guard down. In my younger days, I used to be much much more wearing my heart on my sleeves. Still am, to a more subdued degree. Overall, I'm pretty much myself. If I don't like someone or something, I won't pretend to like them. If I feel I need to say something, I say it. When I feel uncomfortable, I show it.

I know thinkers who come off as feelers. When making decisions, it's a totally different process. I'm objective when I need to be. Really depends. That's when I break away from my typical type functions and approach the situation accordingly.
 

the state i am in

Active member
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Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
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infj
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5w4
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sx/sp
it's partly hiding but it's partly just wearing a mask. it is not just for my relationship with others but for MYSELF as well. you just kind of override your emotions at times. let them fall away and they're still there, but you're distracted by other tasks, you're at work and you're composing yourself, focusing on maintaining your attention on other things, etc. i will let my male emotions go more freely, expressions of anger, disgust, disdain, frustration, etc. they are less emotional responses, in my mind, and more bursts of energy to attempt to change/control a situation. defensive reflections, creating a solid boundary, etc. my female emotions are not going to be seen by acquaintances, coworkers, friends of friends, etc if i can help it.

things slip thru the cracks. finding the right communicative balance and the right way to express yourself is necessary for social success, satisfaction, etc. sometimes i have been very fortunate that my mask let something out, it allowed more direct and honest communication, more social intervention, etc. at other times it just gets exhausting and now is not the time to get into this. "professionalism" is very annoying.
 

tibby

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2008
Messages
682
MBTI Type
fool
I don't hide my emotions towards and about other people, I hide emotions from and about myself to others.

I don't like that people can see into me emotionally. I don't express me (I don't mean this in an unauthentic way :F) in front of most people. I express the surface layer easily, just not the core.

Sometimes I'm caught off guard with my non-other-people-effected expression on my face - those are the closest glimpses that most people will ever get to seeing me, to my emotional atmosphere. Then people will get worried and say: "Are you ok? You look so serious".
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
I often hide my emotions in daily life. Generally I've found people can't handle emotions and sharing them comes back to bite you in the ass if you're not careful.

I'd much rather just work through any emotions and feelings I have myself. Talking about and showing them only leads to be being put in the hot seat. Interrogation on why you feel that way and to having something you felt and expressed being hung around your neck so to speak.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
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ENFP
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sx/sp
actually yeah i should say that i do hide sad emotions...i don't enjoy sharing those...so...i will be upfront and say i'm feeling off or blue but i don't typically discuss those with someone.
 
G

garbage

Guest
I used to be very, very guarded, since I somehow thought that others could read me. Turns out that I only thought that because I had the capacity to read them and I believed that others could easily reciprocate. I don't much bother anymore.

When I hide my emotions, most people are completely oblivious to it. I work with a bunch of engineers and scientists, and they make up the majority of this town as well. I can fake being one of them to a T (lol) pretty easily.

Among those I'm close to, I don't bother hiding my emotions unless I'm completely concentrating on helping them with their problems.. no need to complicate things by introducing my own vulnerabilities unless that helps them.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Another reason people seem different on the forum than in real daily life is because in a forum there are no interrelation agendas. Life is so full of agendas you really cannot share emotions and express yourself honestly.
 
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