[ENFJ] Ask an ENFJ

[Serendipity]

Then again, the line between friend and acquaintance is sort of blurred with me. :/

friend and acquaintance(thanks for the spelling by the way! ); with or without specialized "good" friends?( that somehow for me ends up feeling like soul mates)

( my first but probably inaccurate thought, "point's downwards")
As if everyone should hold hands and jump happily into each others arms? (I know that is way beyond reality... but I still hope. Weirdly enough)

 

[Cronkle]

Hm, yes, I do have good friends. But they are very few, and I tend to feel like I'm the putting much more effort into the relationship than them. But c'est la vie.

I wish people were more gentle and loving and authentic, yes.

 

[Serendipity]

Thanks. I've readily understood you as an individual I like.
Over and out.

 

[Cronkle]

Thanks. I've readily understood you as an individual I like.
Over and out.

 

[nanook]

i am asking an enfj: do you feel or intuit that eglecrowowl is enfj ? (link goes to one entry in her youtube video blog)

 

[Cronkle]

I can only speak for myself, but I do that sort of ironic, singsong way of talking when I'm with people sometimes. And, also, she talks with her hands a lot; I do that too.

Maybe E (talkative? she talks with her hands anyway)
Definitely N (can't find words for something)
F(sensitive artist)
P or J (I can't really tell here, she dresses classily, seems organized (heavy intuit on that one) maybe J?)

 

[nanook]

my guess is actually esfj, since that is what i get from how she is a "doer" in art and how she "wears" her body in an extremely aware way and also since i do not believe that creativity is linked to "N" as defined as conscious function (ie one of the first four), and i do think that not being able to express is actually an argument against dominant intuition, because to me, having dominant intuition means owning it and understanding it, (ab)using it, disassembling it, idiosyncrasy, intuition gets "earthen-ed/grounded", it is one with the world we live in, rather than just a channeling of bits from the subconsciousness as if they were otherworldly (i know, she says in the video that these things are not otherworldly to her). ironically not owning intuition can be a good thing for free flow creativity. you don't get in the way with your interpretations. images stay just that, therefore they are less threatening. however enfj's N is just secondary anyway, so all of this would not necessarily be different for them. also FiNe have that "not being able to express" alot. so, this is were i have to ask someone ... and of course there are always "unborn" "images" which can not be expressed/interpreted by dominant intuition as well.

i believe that it is generally accepted that statistically women have a better connection of the brain hemispheres. this is relevant to all sorts of creativity. i am by all means of diagnosis a so called right brained person (even my scull is way bigger on the right side), but i do not have a very optimal connection of the hemmisphers. i can tell by concentration dissorder (means they are not synced - Google Search ) or by how i am (not very much) able to think and perform body tasks at the same time. and this does affect my artistic creativity allot, and being inventive in many other ways.

which leads me to another question: have enfj bigger left hemispheres? we know they are sensitive about languages. judgers are generally believed to be left brain dominant. being a germany guy, I' d better censor that one.

 

[nanook]

here is another question for the enfj: how much do you love eckhart tolle?

a) want. sex. now.
b) he is my savior!
c) no, not my type.
d) don't know that guy yet, but love the looks

 

[Cronkle]

It seemed like she was using the word "ineffable" as something mystica, which seems more like an intuitive trait to me.

 

[Cronkle]

I haven't read any of him.

C. though.

 

[civil_disobedience]

I love that you quoted Socrates on that particuliar statement...
and you're signing up for the Americorps.
Let's be best friends.

Hmm.. So an ask an ENFJ? Don't mind if I do! My roommate (formerly best mate) is an ENFJ.. but she will no longer talk to me (she is cold as ice!)
as:

1.)She got religion which, apparently I don't.
2.)She is not fond of my gentleman caller.

So. How does an ENFJ typically deal with value disagreements with cherished friends? Is this they way it goes?
What's the best way to approach the issue?

 

[Cronkle]

Value disagreements with friends usually involves some way of me getting along with them, generally losing a little ground for the sake of a healthy relationship. If it gets too bad, it'll get to the point where I give up, then I'll just avoid them.

I can't handle negativity. It's more to protect their feelings than anything.

People tell me I'm too polite. :/

 

[SpottingTrains]

I've never had a problem understanding how other people can hold different values. Though to be fair I have never had a friend who was religious. I can see that if religion played such a central part in her life that it could make her doubt your status as friends if you don't see the same thing...I think when people get different interests in life, no matter what their type, they begin to move apart.

 

[SpottingTrains]

Value disagreements with friends usually involves some way of me getting along with them, generally losing a little ground for the sake of a healthy relationship. If it gets too bad, it'll get to the point where I give up, then I'll just avoid them.

I can't handle negativity. It's more to protect their feelings than anything.

People tell me I'm too polite. :/

Yes, I am the same way.

 

[Domino]

I love that you quoted Socrates on that particuliar statement...
and you're signing up for the Americorps.
Let's be best friends.

Hmm.. So an ask an ENFJ? Don't mind if I do! My roommate (formerly best mate) is an ENFJ.. but she will no longer talk to me (she is cold as ice!)
as:

1.)She got religion which, apparently I don't.
2.)She is not fond of my gentleman caller.

So. How does an ENFJ typically deal with value disagreements with cherished friends? Is this they way it goes?
What's the best way to approach the issue?

Not seeing eye to eye is never a good enough reason for me to drop a close friend. Granted, when people "get religion", sometimes it's extremely difficult to reach the person you once knew. That may pass as she gets more mature in her new faith. Not liking your boyfriend is another matter. I've not liked many of my best gfs' choices of men, and there's been rows about it because I care and can't stand to see a great girl get tangled up with a jerk, but ultimately, I had to step back and say, "They're adults. They can make their own decisions" and just tried to love my friend and not be around that guy as much as possible.

I can't imagine just dropping a friend with out an explanation. My friends mean everything to me.

 

[civil_disobedience]

Thanks for the replies.. I'll talk to her when I can work up the guts.. I'd hate to make things worse. I loathe conflict.

 

[Domino]

Don't psyche yourself out with the idea you might make things worse. Just wait until you feel calm and/or ready, and go for it.

 

[Neutralpov]

values conflict

I love that you quoted Socrates on that particuliar statement...
and you're signing up for the Americorps.
Let's be best friends.

Hmm.. So an ask an ENFJ? Don't mind if I do! My roommate (formerly best mate) is an ENFJ.. but she will no longer talk to me (she is cold as ice!)
as:

1.)She got religion which, apparently I don't.
2.)She is not fond of my gentleman caller.

So. How does an ENFJ typically deal with value disagreements with cherished friends? Is this they way it goes?
What's the best way to approach the issue?

A values conflict of that deep a nature will KILL/choke out my caring for a person. If you are in violation of something that serious and meaningful I cannot help it. Religion changes have been too deep and seriously fracturing imo. But I am a recovering Christian and man that stuff is bad from my experience and I can't be around the people who are negative energy or opposite energy in such a deep issue and judging! Sorry but being a J and intense about deep values that is just what will quench the relationship. It is also unpleasant to be around the boyfriend it looks like for her and we don't like unpleasant feelings. Double whammy may overload the poor ENFJ here.

 

[Neutralpov]

Hm, yes, I do have good friends. But they are very few, and I tend to feel like I'm the putting much more effort into the relationship than them. But c'est la vie.

I wish people were more gentle and loving and authentic, yes.

Have you found a way to solve this. I totally agree and it sucks! What are we ENFJ's to do?

 

[Dailtone]

What do you find hopelessly irresistible in a person of the opposite gender? In a a) romantic sense b) sexual sense

How far would you go to be with 'The One'? Would you expect "The One" to make the moves to be with you?