[NF] Anger grrr argh.

[prplchknz]

So when I get angry I find that people often just ignore me or make jokes or just don't take me seriously. And it makes even angrier, its like my feelings don't matter to anyone and if I'm having a shitty day who gives a fuck. but someone can come in and complain about a nail being broken and everyone sympathizes it's like not that I'm complaining but, why is it no matter what I'm not taken seriously? it's like I'm constantly ignored I'm pretty much invisible and no one seems to notice that i even exist in the real world. Constantly being told that what I'm saying is ridiculous or having other people laugh, i swear this is how insane crazy dictators are created. Just simply like I don't deserve to be counted in this world that I'm not allowed to know things that I'm invisible and what I do doesn't matter, because it's just going to be ignored anyways.

sorry just very very frustrated with the world right now.

 

[Moiety]

I think I've experienced that sort of stuff at least once in my life. When talking with some real close-minded SJs.

I'd say the only real way around it, is to control your anger. Showing other people their comments don't affect you most of the time, will actually make the times you do show your anger/dissappointment stand out. If you make sure you only snap when it's a matter of real importance, people will stop associating that kind of behavior with your person and start threading more carefully when talking about certain topics.

Now I'm not saying you are getting worked pissed off over nothing, but there are somethings we can't change.The only thing we can change for sure is our behavior. The only true remedy to avoid stupid people to misunderstand you 24/7, is to stop talking with them. In the end, some people are just plain dumb.

 

[prplchknz]

that's the thing I rarely show anger in real life. I rarely ever complain to people about my problems in real life. I mean people have said "Oh I don't think I've seen her get angry or complain once"

 

[Moiety]

Oh, so you have a heard time conveying anger, is that it? Or are you talking about online, or something else?

 

[Little Linguist]

So when I get angry I find that people often just ignore me or make jokes or just don't take me seriously. And it makes even angrier, its like my feelings don't matter to anyone and if I'm having a shitty day who gives a fuck. but someone can come in and complain about a nail being broken and everyone sympathizes it's like not that I'm complaining but, why is it no matter what I'm not taken seriously? it's like I'm constantly ignored I'm pretty much invisible and no one seems to notice that i even exist in the real world. Constantly being told that what I'm saying is ridiculous or having other people laugh, i swear this is how insane crazy dictators are created. Just simply like I don't deserve to be counted in this world that I'm not allowed to know things that I'm invisible and what I do doesn't matter, because it's just going to be ignored anyways.

sorry just very very frustrated with the world right now.

Why do you think no one takes your seriously? Do you mean on here or in real life?

Perhaps they were trying to cheer you up with the joke, but I do admit that can get annoying if you don't feel up to it.

Regarding the ignoring thing, I often feel that people ignore me or don't realize I exist. In fact, that's why I was sure I was introverted for awhile, because I took those cues and basically withdrew from others.

Later on I found out that these people did not necessarily ignore me. But they don't always give you the support, attention, or feedback that you need. That can be a royal pain in the butt. Hang in there...we luv ya.

 

[prplchknz]

Oh, so you have a heard time conveying anger, is that it? Or are you talking about online, or something else?

not online i bitch too much online not to be ignored. I'm talking real life, and maybe that's it.

 

[Moiety]

Cursing never fails. Unless you curse a lot. The important thing is to do something you don't normally do when you are not angry (duh )

 

[chris1207]

I think the reason why people don't take you and perhaps other infp's seriously when they're angry is because they are so freaking adorable when they get angry. I just want to hug them. They have this way of getting really fussy and saying "woe is me!" The fact is that most people don't pick up on that. They don't see it as you getting angry (I have some Uber-Fe )

Most people think that everyone should take action if there angry and try to control the situation by influencing events or people. If you care that much then you should be proactive about resolving the issue. I've run into a few infps in the last few weeks that have had there own troubles and I've taken it upon myself to be proactive for them and help if I can. I don't lose any sleep if I can't help but I do my darndest!

 

[Biaxident]

Prpl, I find a quick punch in the skull, or a kick to the knee of whomever angers me, helps me calm down.

Of course, for you, may I suggest you invest in a nice Craftsman hammer. They'll stop ignoring you.

 

[digesthisickness]

So when I get angry I find that people often just ignore me or make jokes or just don't take me seriously. And it makes even angrier, its like my feelings don't matter to anyone and if I'm having a shitty day who gives a fuck. but someone can come in and complain about a nail being broken and everyone sympathizes it's like not that I'm complaining but, why is it no matter what I'm not taken seriously? it's like I'm constantly ignored I'm pretty much invisible and no one seems to notice that i even exist in the real world. Constantly being told that what I'm saying is ridiculous or having other people laugh, i swear this is how insane crazy dictators are created. Just simply like I don't deserve to be counted in this world that I'm not allowed to know things that I'm invisible and what I do doesn't matter, because it's just going to be ignored anyways.

sorry just very very frustrated with the world right now.

maybe if you titled this differently, it would get a lot more responses. because i'm sure you're not alone, and i'm sure there isn't a lack of people on this board who would love to address this issue with you.

that said, i picked up that you were angry, but it came off as more 'just frustrated'. like a nap would help. not a dropkick to someone's throat.

ever really cut loose and let someone who seriously had it coming have it full force? or at least 80% force?

 

[prplchknz]

I think I might be backwards. Because when I'm joking about being angry everyone tells me to calm down, but when I am actually angry no one does anything.

 

[Biaxident]

I think I might be backwards. Because when I'm joking about being angry everyone tells me to calm down, but when I am actually angry no one does anything.

Like I said, invest in a nice Craftsman hammer. I was only partially kidding.

After all, it's hard to dismiss someone with a crazed look in their eye, and a nice shiny hammer in their hand.

 

[proteanmix]

prpl, I don't know what to say.

On one hand, when I see someone's really upset I don't necessarily go to them because I don't know what type of angry person they are. Some people get angry and snap at people or start yelling at you for being concerned. It's happened many times to me, so unless you're someone I'm tight with I'll note you're angry but probably won't do anything.

How have you responded to people who have inquired about your emotional state before when you're angry? Have you lashed out at them or clammed up? Maybe they're responding to you based on your prior treatment to them. I wouldn't necessarily say they're ignoring you. You may not be on there radar, or they may not feel it's their place to ask about you...it's so much that can be going on that I wouldn't just outright say they don't care.

Who do you expect to respond to you? What type of response do you expect? Are you talking about a family member, close friend, or any random person?

 

[prplchknz]

Friend, and yeah I guess I do clam up a bit.

 

[proteanmix]

Friend, and yeah I guess I do clam up a bit.

You expect the friend to respond? OK, then my next thoughts are how comfortable does your friend feel about experiencing that part of you. Like me, I don't think anyone really wants to deal with me when I'm angry except family members and a couple of brave and fearless friends cause, uh, I'm somewhat of a sight to behold.

Ahh, so that could be a little bit of it. If you clam up some people may figure it's useless and do nothing. Also when I'm mad as hell, I know the people around me who are responsive and go to them. Innocents don't get maimed like that.

 

[prplchknz]

I don't expect anyone to respond, just that it be nice to be acknowledged. I mean even a "shut the fuck up you whiney bitch/get over it" would be nice of course then that would probably elicit a "Fuck you!" from me. Anything but a joke or laughter.

 

[proteanmix]

I don't expect anyone to respond, just that it be nice to be acknowledged. I mean even a "shut the fuck up you whiney bitch/get over it" would be nice of course then that would probably elicit a "Fuck you!" from me. Anything but a joke or laughter.

Unfortunately, some a lot of people don't know how to deal with strong negative emotions. The best they can do is crack a joke or ignore it. Sorry boo.

 

[Moiety]

Like I said, invest in a nice Craftsman hammer. I was only partially kidding.

After all, it's hard to dismiss someone with a crazed look in their eye, and a nice shiny hammer in their hand.

It's also hard to dismiss someone with a gun in his/her hands, doesn't mean we should carry the things around everywhere. At the risk of sounding condescending, violence or threats are not the answer at all. At least imo.

 

[Biaxident]

It's also hard to dismiss someone with a gun in his/her hands, doesn't mean we should carry the things around everywhere. At the risk of sounding condescending, violence or threats are not the answer at all. At least imo.

Condescend away, I am oblivious to condescension. And you're correct, it isn't the answer, at least not all the time. Most people yell, scream, and talk big, but don't follow through. Verbalization seems to take the edge off.

I was being facetious, although atypical behavior may lead people to realize something has upset you.

 

[ThatsWhatHeSaid]

that said, i picked up that you were angry, but it came off as more 'just frustrated'. like a nap would help. not a dropkick to someone's throat.

I agree with that. The title and the line about dictators makes it seem like you YOURSELF are saying "it's not a big deal. Look, I'll add a few jokes or cutesy things in so this doesn't become awkward."

I kinda think you do that a lot in general, (based on Vent interaction) so it would kind of make sense that people wouldn't take you that seriously when you got angry, ESPECIALLY if you soften it yourself with lines like the dictator one.

I think there's some more stuff, but you're not asking for a total psychological break down, and it's not really my place.

Kind of like digest said...if you let people feel awkward and a little afraid, you'll command much better attention. A lot of it has to do with body language, tone, and word choice, but it all flows very naturally if you give yourself permission to take people out of their comfort zones.