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  1. #111
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    748 sx/so


    oh god no. you've just confirmed my suspicions/fears.
    thanks for this post, for making me confront my pathos. i guess you're right.
    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    haha oh wow! pressure much?

    so i was single for... 20+ years? did a little dating, nothing significant... i pined over people for a long time during that... now as a non-single... i just want to say, i don't think you really have less problems, just different ones... 0_o

    i mean obviously i think my relationship is worth staying in, but i think it's important to remember that NFP emotional life is just complicated... we're screwed emotionally regardless of whether we're in a relationship or not. when you're not, you're dreaming of one, and when you are, you're dreaming of how it could be made better and scared of losing it. that pining feeling doesn't go away, it just shifts... it shifts to wanting to be around the person you're with when they're gone, it shifts to wishing you had more time to spend with them, it shifts to wishing things were better between the two of you... even when it's really, really good, your mind is stuck on "if we could just tweak this one thing..."

    kinda the downside to being an idealist, always looking for how to make things better

  2. #112
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    ;) sx


    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJaye View Post
    I'm single, and I enjoy it. What I should say is, I don't mind being solo at all. I would rather be single than with someone I know isn't the one. I keep my heart open for him, whenever he arrives, and in the meantime, I try to embrace the world as a single entity.

    Though I'm not saying this to make anyone else feel bad. Sometimes it's hard to feel that kind of longing in your heart every day and not have it make you a little crazy or despairing.
    You said it perfectly. I feel the same.

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
    -Teddy Roosevelt

  3. #113
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007


    I have never been in a serious relationship, so to answer you question, quite swimmingly. I like being single i have never sought out relationships.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #114
    Senior Member Wolfie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    4w5 so


    I don't have this compulsion. I like have a partner in my life, but that could be a best friend or a boyfriend, just someone I can be close to and share things with and who will be accepting of me and create a safe social experience for me.
    ( . )( . )

  5. #115
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009


    "The Rhetoric of Singleness
    Being single and being lonely are not the same thing—but our culture insists on conflating them"

    Might look up the book. The article itself (being an excerpt) is very bare of facts/details but some interesting stuff in the comments.
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  6. #116
    Junior Member Aggieb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012


    I can totally relate.

    The fear of being single made me:
    1. marry my first bf after being together 6years even though I wasn't in love with him
    2. continued to "try again" even though I regretted the marriage after 2 years because I've always felt that it's my fault for not able to be contented with what I have.
    3. still procrastinating serving the separation papers even though I have brought up and discussed separation several times (after 9 years of marriage)
    4. kept wanting to find the next person to be with.

    And now I am 35, and really fearing if I am going to spend the rest of my life alone

  7. #117
    Member DaniaWania's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    749 sp/sx


    I enjoy it!

    I enjoy designing the ultimate partner for me, but I know everything in my mind is much more exciting that in real life. I wont ever get that ideal person because the probably don't exist in this time or where I am.

    I have been in a long term relationship (5 years) when I was younger and I saw how many of my life plan were tailored for US and not ME. May be a bit selfish but I am not too sure I am ready for going off-route for another person just yet. Maybe I will get to that point but its not here.

    Of course there are those times when I wish I had someone to cuddle with or someone to be there for me like that... but a relationship is so constant that I cannot expect to come to him when I want him and then disappear when I feel like (oh I wish that were the case sometimes).

    This is the time of my life where I need to find out who I am and why I'm here, what I intend to do and who I want to be. When this phase is over (if ever!), maybe I will start thinking about partners and kids and all that typical stuff.
    "I am making a friendship application and 'Do you think JUNO (film) is awesome?' is a compulsory question..."
    ~A Malazan Fallen~


    58% RightBrained
    7w6 4w5 9w8 - 749 Magical Thinker

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