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[INFJ] ENFP parent and INFJ child

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
well..i also have an infj best friend and there is something similar about the dynamic...it's some odd psychic connection that can't be described...but...with my mom it's strange because i feel like i have this huge drive to protect her...like i want to take care of her...and she's a strong independent person who doesn't need it and never has...we have a really close special bond and she really values my advice and i'm the one she comes to to discuss things...and we can talk for hours and do every time one of us calls...we have the same moral code...the same depth and view of the world...but i'm more blunt and sometimes jokey and sarcastic which i feel offends her sometimes...she's more sensitive than i am...she's also a lot less outwardly expressive...not a very affectionate person...and i can be...but we get each others jokes and enjoy each others company...and have an awesome adult relationship. i wasn't easy on her when i was younger and demanded way more liberty than she should've given me...she was a lax parent and i needed even more freedom...but she always knew what i was up to...she has eyes that peer into your soul...it's frightening.

that probably doesn't really relate much at all sorry.

i found out my mom is infp- so disregard any of this as being pertinent in any way haha
 

ThePoetess

New member
Joined
Nov 22, 2016
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
2
My mom is an ENFP, my dad is an INTJ, and I am an INFJ an it has been a little hell-ish at times. Mostly because of our own personal issues and childhood traumas so I will try to figure out what is useful to you...

The most important negatives I can think of:

The ENFP tries to force the child to be an ExFP too. She forces the child to be outgoing, happy (even when feeling severe depression as most INFJs do, which forces them to hide it and become more depressed), and emotionally open even when the child needs to be alone so they can process their emotions.

Has bouts of very emotional anger and random/unexpected times when misinterpreting something or taking something else in their life out on them. INFJ children do not handle anger well!

Can be extremely unreliable, which to a child who doesn't understand (especially INFJ who takes things personally) can be easily be taken as a lack of love.
*ENFP forgets to pick INFJ up from school* INFJ: "they don't love me, they don't want me, my safety is not important, I deserve to be abandoned anyways."

The arguments will be highly emotional with a torrent of crying and parent feeling like a bad parent while son/daughter feels like a horrible child.

Positives:
The deep and extreme feeling of the ENFP helps the INFJ their own feeling and care to a deeper level.
 
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