[INFP] How did you find the person of your dreams?

[Atomic Fiend]

I went to sleep.

 

[Little Linguist]

At a castle...

...and no, I'm not being facetious!

 

[Nonsensical]

As I lay down each night, there comes a brief period of time between wake and sleep, if only but a split second, where our souls connect. A breach in reality, but not yet a dream. Something awaiting..almost a reality. Yeah, that's where. And it will be this way until our winding paths meet and join as one.

 

[speculative]

They had an interesting interview this morning on PBS - don't know the name of the show or the book, but it was a divorce lawyer who had written a book about divorce/marriage. (Yes I know, I am helpful with details. ) One of the ideas brought up on the show, was that if you're starting to get serious about someone, instead of acting out the marriage (moving in with them, etc.) in a sort of trial marriage, you should instead do a trial separation. If you find you can easily live without the person, they're not the one for you. If you find out you cannot imagine your life being happy without the person, then they are the one for you.

Statistically, couples who "act out" the marriage before getting married have a much higher rate of divorce than couples who do not. I find that interesting in light of this interview...

 

[Cindyrella]

They had an interesting interview this morning on PBS - don't know the name of the show or the book, but it was a divorce lawyer who had written a book about divorce/marriage. (Yes I know, I am helpful with details. ) One of the ideas brought up on the show, was that if you're starting to get serious about someone, instead of acting out the marriage (moving in with them, etc.) in a sort of trial marriage, you should instead do a trial separation. If you find you can easily live without the person, they're not the one for you. If you find out you cannot imagine your life being happy without the person, then they are the one for you.

Statistically, couples who "act out" the marriage before getting married have a much higher rate of divorce than couples who do not. I find that interesting in light of this interview...

Very, very interesting.

My husband and I got married on New Year's Eve and he deployed to Iraq 17 days later. We didn't live together before he deployed, either. We are already married but we are definitely doing the separation thing. So we may have done it backwards, but I can tell you I'm a complete and utter mess being without him. It's been 2 months and I still haven't adjusted well to him being gone. I'm not blubbering and sobbing day in and day out, but it simply doesn't feel right that he's gone. To have him in my life is the right thing for me, and so I sit counting down the days until he returns (early next year).

Realize that only Idealists/NFs look for soul-mates.

My INTP husband used to say he didn't believe in soul mates because that implies predetermination, and he firmly believes in free will. These days he refers to me as his soul mate. I might discuss this with him tomorrow when I talk to him. I want to ask him what made him change his view on this.

To answer the OP's question - I met my husband at work. We were friends first, but there was an immediate mutual attraction when we met (which we eventually revealed to each other once we started dating). We didn't start dating until we'd known each other for six months. I knew fairly early on in the relationship that I would be very happy if I one day became his wife. Now I am!

 

[batumi]

plenty of fish has MBTI typing and search functions too.

 

[speculative]

plenty of fish has MBTI typing and search functions too.

Really? Thanks for the heads-up, it's been awhile since I checked that site out. I think the pay dating sites don't have much more going for them than POF (unless you do e-harmony, which won't let me join because they think they can't match me)...

 

[OrangeAppled]

Really? Thanks for the heads-up, it's been awhile since I checked that site out. I think the pay dating sites don't have much more going for them than POF (unless you do e-harmony, which won't let me join because they think they can't match me)...

That's the best one out there, IMO.
I won't do the paying thing....and yeah, eharmony rejected me too.

 

[Lily Bart]

I've really been enjoying reading posts here anonymously but this one finally compelled me to sign up! It would seem to me that a church might be the BEST place for an INFP Christian to find a soul mate. Although churches attract a lot of SJ types, they also attract NF's because of their idealism--NT's, too -- the only group my church seems short on is SP's, although there are a few. I think church activities in general allow INF's to make friends easily because they don't depend on superficial forms of socializing -- providing meals for residents of homeless shelters, group trips to New Orleans to rebuild damaged homes, yard work for a wheel-chair bound elderly lady, and small Bible-study discussion groups really allow you to get to know people inside-out, so to speak. There are also more social types of activities and some churches have singles groups or young adult groups. Churches all have different personalities, too, so you may want to visit a few till you find one that's compatible. Good luck!

 

[Lily flower]

I have been married for 17 years to my soulmate. I am a Christian also, and one day I visited a different church than the one I usually attend. My (future) husband had just gotten back from a missions trip and was up on stage telling about the trip. I felt very strongly that God was telling me that I was going to marry this guy. Then I started to argue with Him, telling Him that that was ridiculous, since I had never even talked with this guy.

Well, I talked with him after church and it was like talking to someone I had been friends with forever. He is truly my soulmate. We have absolutely the best marriage of anyone I know.

Now, that doesn't mean we don't have to work at our relationship. We do have misunderstandings. He falls much more in the logical/skeptical realm of thinking than I do, and two human beings will never see eye to eye on everything, but I truly believe he is my soulmate. I am an INFJ and he is either an ENFJ or ESFJ. I do also believe that we can have several people who have the potential to be soulmates. It just requires a very "in sync" personality.

I would encourage you since you are a Christian to pray and be willing to wait for God's timing - don't be too hasty to jump into a relationship. Wait for God to send you the right person - not the perfect person, but definitely a soul mate. Also, I would encourage you on the practical side to attend a large variety of Christian events. You will meet a larger variety of people and will have a better chance of meeting someone you will be "in sync" with.

I just prayed for you that you will find someone who truly is your soulmate. Best wishes!