[INFJ] infj and avoidance

[the state i am in]

this makes me feel so immature but sometimes i just have to avoid certain people and try to ignore them as much as possible bc i fear that i will not be able to manage my feelings. this is a huge source of conflict for me and is one of the main preventative things that allows me to go out and get more information, experiment, try and fail, take risk, hang in there and learn something, improve, and become stronger and more self-confident.

i am particularly referring to situations when someone makes you feel inadequate, rejected, spurned, embarrassed, outmaneuvered, or overpowered. not to mention the fact that i can not tolerate coldness, and the toxic connection that seems to develop sometimes with certain people when we start to spontaneously combust. i think my idealism and the narrowing focus of my Ni when it thinks it has something, make me too expectant and demanding, and i'm so idealistic that i am trusting my head/image/intuition more than real life, and then feel betrayed way too easily bc i have taken a situation way more personally than i had any right to.

but most of all you can't get anywhere without communicating, and it makes me freeze up and have emotional seizures or just avoid avoid avoid, so i get nowhere and communicate nothing.

 

[Halla74]

Wow, that sounds really difficult for you.

I will try to offer you a solution to your dilemma by being an ESTP practical realist.

Forget about avoiding people all together.

Focus on something that you wish to learn more about, or learn how to do that ranks relatively high in your current profile of interests. This will serve as your vehicle for finding a cause worthy of avoiding people.

Now that you have a vehicle, make time in your schedule and seek to understand it better, and learn about it. You are only allowed to perform 1 thorough research on the topic from your computer at home. All other information gathered about your new interest must come from people at local organizations, businesses, etc.

This might seem superficial, but it gives you a reason to interact with people that you would not necessarily have any reason to come into contact with.

How does this help you in your interpersonal endeavors? It gives you practice in dealing with people in a low stress environment, the experience of which will lower your tendency to avoid others closer to you for a short period of time after your discoveries are accomplished.

That is how I would try to resolve at least a piece of the puzzle that seems to be ailing you.

Remember, don't base too much of your thinking on assumptions no matter how empathic you are, and don't bottle up negativity for too long as it only eats at your core, talk such issues out with those linked to it.

I wish you the best of luck!



-Alex

 

[Atomic Fiend]

Infjs Avoidant?

 

[iwakar]

Infjs Avoidant?

Indeed. Merge threads please!