CrystalViolet
lab rat extraordinaire
- Joined
- Oct 24, 2008
- Messages
- 2,152
- MBTI Type
- XNFP
- Enneagram
- 5w4
- Instinctual Variant
- sx/sp
GZA, although you bring up some very good points (which kinda made me pause to think & ponder, honestly) , but my conclusion is the the same as what SuperServal said above.. it is exactly my problem too: with work consumes around 3/4th of our life, how could it not be "part" of our identity? especially for those kind of people who work over-time, until very late at night, and then have to get up again at morning.. I personally just can't, in a century, imagine why these people would choose to 'crush' their true identity and what they really want, and instead just put all their 'identities' into a job that they know they dislike.. if it's for money only, I would soon just resign, I don't actually care if I'll starve and stuff like that, "I will survive" , much much better than become a karoshii (death from overwork, very popular term in Japan).
Worse, is when society, and people around you just identify with you solely, purely just from what you're doing at your job/work, and that's it.
examples: have you ever come to a friends or big-family gathering, only to be asked (or concerned) with these 'boring' questions: "oh hey, so how's ur job?" and when you even half-heartedly answered "oh...yah..it's fine...i guess" , yet people KEPT ASKING you consecutively with more stuff: "oh! i heard the furniture business is now tumbling down...how do you handle that?" or "oh but it surely doesn't affect ur profits, right?" , and the climax is when some people praised me by saying "look at him, he's so succesful, will become rich, he'll definitely get married with beautiful girl, all girls will look up at him bla bla..."
sometimes I feel that I just want to yell at them and say "I'M NOT LIKE WHAT YOU SEE!!!" , because god I just hate how these people kept viewing me as my job = my identity = I LOVE my job! NO, I don't like my job, in fact, I hate it, I despise it! it's not my *true* identity.
and yet when I play music passionately (which is always been my true passion), I just really hate it when people here said things like "oh how sweet...you really have such a good hobby!"
my god...."hobby" ?? I've actually always intended to make it as my FULL-time career, but always these pragmatist people just kept saying how I should never - in my sane mind - choose Music as career, because "it'll definitely make you broke & starving" , that's what they said repeatedly always,.and yet they kept placing such a 'fake' identity in me, by viewing me as a "succesfull furniture Export manager" !
how can i not get irritated by all of that?
I see where you are coming from now. I just want to say feel ya. When I first stepped into the working world, I was very disenchanted. I wanted to be actor, not a scientist. I was rather forced into my career by other people's expectations. The thing is learning not to take on the identity that others press on you.
The greatest problem I have now, is picking something and sticking with it. I love to write, but I spend little time on it at the moment. I had several abortive atempts to change careers, but currently I'm in a job that I don't hate, so I'm reasonably contented with what I do. I also taking steps to launch an attempt into med school though, and as people have noted about me I always have several plans, I'm constantly job hopping (although that may have to stop with the current situation), and I never stand still. I'm constantly striving to adapt my job to my needs. I also plan to move to the UK at some point soon...ect, ect. The thing is to find meaning you have to go looking for it. At the moment for me the search is more fun than the potential desination, but I have never accepted that I'm just a scientist. I strive not to be seen as that. I only keep mentioning it here because of the assumption that INFP's can't use logic. I'm reasonably successful at my job, but more than that, I have a very good reputation, but no one who I care about sees me as the quintensential scientist. Actually they all see me as the artist with no time.