[MBTI General] INTJ: gooey on the inside

[the state i am in]

i am close with an intj female, and your description has helped me understand her. Fi is like an inner child (for her it sounds like ted leo songs). our connection is that she hides it underneath objectivist hierarchically prioritized Te organizing her Ni big picture (which is where we connect). and that i absolutely refuse to let her inner child not come out and play. that even tho the Ni + Te gives her this cutting, absurdist, mirthful humor, w/ me she secretly wants to play and embrace the sentimental and gooey Fi.

and yes, we get there bc her NiTe knows. with Ni dom her internal environment is instantly recognizable and almost transparent to me, we just organize them with different principles (Te vs Ti). although she does not fully understand the glossy colors and hues and shades of feeling-tones that my Ni is painted with, composed of, etc.

 

[SillySapienne]

Yes, they are gooey on the inside.

And this is what makes them beautifully intense creatures.

 

[poppy]

In response to some of what Kalach said initially...Maybe "gooey on the inside" feels wrong to some of us because it sounds like we have a maudlin and sentimental inner core that we don't have control over...which is true up to a point, but as we get more in touch with our Fi we learn how to use it and experience it, and it becomes more like another side to us, and less like some dirty secret that we feel we have to hide.

Not to say it doesn't remain a little fragile, especially during those moments when we live it fully...

 

[InvisibleJim]

I feel over exposed in this thread.

 

[Amargith]

Jim, you're delusional..we hardly need this thread to be aware of those things in you

 

[Litvyak]

I think this "gooey in the center"-thing is seriously overhyped.

Sure, it holds some truth in it because of our tertiary Fi (most myths do), but the general belief that an INTJ hides something very deep and emotional seems to be a huge exaggeration, perhaps because of our unusual facial expressions. We could seem to be "mysterious" because we're quiet, sometimes unfriendly, and drawn to transcendental things. I suppose that's it.

 

[SillySapienne]

Hmm, I think it has a lot to do with your tertiary Fi.

Here's an example that will hopefully elucidate:

I'm an ENFP, and hence have auxiliary Fi and tertiary Te, my warmth and gooey-ness is therefore more apparent, partly due to my extraversion, and mostly due to my Fi. As happy-go-lucky as I am, people (often) can immediately see/feel my warmth.

For you guys, your gooeyness/kindness/gentleness is not so apparent, but it's there, granted deep inside of you.

Once you find someone whom you trust and love, you'll let that person in, and then, and only then, will they see/feel/experience that beautiful aspect to your personalities.

 

[EffEmDoubleyou]

It's true. (Terse INTJ response.)

 

[the state i am in]

a wildly varying portion of their experience and cognitive functioning is made up of Fi, yes. but that doesn't change the fact that Te is what ultimately structures their experience and action. but Fi does have some sentiment, inner truth, belief in something, etc. but again this changes with individual cases.

enfps are the best at exaggerating F in others bc they can see and imagine the smallest core of feeling. they can easily overwhelmingly bias themselves towards the Fi of someone and not realize the whole of the rest. still, it's pretty impressive and why they're so good at seeing the best in others.

 

[OrangeAppled]

I think this "gooey in the center"-thing is seriously overhyped.

I think so too. Don't worry INTJs, I for one believe you are cold-hearted, evil robots.

 

[highlander]

Hmm, I think it has a lot to do with your tertiary Fi.

Here's an example that will hopefully elucidate:

I'm an ENFP, and hence have auxiliary Fi and tertiary Te, my warmth and gooey-ness is therefore more apparent, partly due to my extraversion, and mostly due to my Fi. As happy-go-lucky as I am, people (often) can immediately see/feel my warmth.

For you guys, your gooeyness/kindness/gentleness is not so apparent, but it's there, granted deep inside of you.

Once you find someone whom you trust and love, you'll let that person in, and then, and only then, will they see/feel/experience that beautiful aspect to your personalities.

This is a really good response. Let's face it we are softies on the inside regardless as to what we might reveal in most situations. Once we let people into our "circle", we're fiercely loyal. We're sentimental, romantics at heart, forgiving, and stand up for others, especially if we think they are being treated unfairly. We have very strong feelings and we do really care about people. People see through the shell, particularly when they get to know us well. At least, that's what I think.

 

[Kalach]

Yeah, maybe. I think "gooey" sounds wrong for the way it ignores the hardass, isolationist aspect of, particularly tertiary, Fi. Yeah sure, we have the inner idiot puppy dog eyes, the naive child who wants to hug, but even that part grows up eventually. And it does have to grow up, for if it stays gooey, then it's really an abdication of higher level functions and WON'T LAST LONG!

 

[Litvyak]

This is a really good response. Let's face it we are softies on the inside regardless as to what we might reveal in most situations. Once we let people into our "circle", we're fiercely loyal. We're sentimental, romantics at heart, forgiving, and stand up for others, especially if we think they are being treated unfairly. We have very strong feelings and we do really care about people. People see through the shell, particularly when they get to know us well. At least, that's what I think.

Well, no. I'm loyal if I "let someone in", which is really rare, but I'm not a "softie", I stand up for myself and not others, I mostly don't care about individuals, and most importantly: I'm not forgiving. I do not forgive and do not forget.

Maybe it's time to change types, or abandon the MBTI.

 

[Le Grande Muffin]

Isnt this the E's patronizing pantaloons spake of I like thee and will have you via the glorious wordage of thy own egos as its exactly what they wanton desire whether you like it or not.

I could be wrong
ive my gravy doubts

Personally if what you say is true I have little idea of what those basket cases spake of and shall ready the birch

 

[Litvyak]

Ok, what dialect is this? I don't understand shit of your posts, though I really want to.

 

[Goodewitch]

Im my experience of INTJ's, they are not gooey at all, rather they have their own sparing use of empathy, feeling and rationed sympathy via Fi, which seems to me by its very nature, to be self preservatory, and hoarding of its own self. cant blame it really, I see Fi as somehow finite and INTJ's know it, therefore they save their feeling and concern for deserving cases, but do not waste energy on lesser matters.
They are not soft nor gooey, but rather, they make efficient use of their feeling, as they make efficient use of everything else. (Goodewitch... NOT swooning over the thought of gooeyness in INTJ's since 1970)
G. x

 

[highlander]

Well, no. I'm loyal if I "let someone in", which is really rare, but I'm not a "softie", I stand up for myself and not others, I mostly don't care about individuals, and most importantly: I'm not forgiving. I do not forgive and do not forget.

Maybe it's time to change types, or abandon the MBTI.

I can only speak to personal experience. As I've gotten older, taken on more responsibilities, been in a position of greater power and influence, and had children, what I realized is that the ability to truly "move mountains" can only be done with and through others. That changes how your operate as an INTJ considerably (at least it has for me). My type has been tested consistently over the last 15 - 20 years, and I don't believe that it has or will ever change. I believe MBTI is a useful tool for INTJs for two reasons:
1. for self development
2. by combining intuition with a logical framework - that is MBTI, and adapting a habit of soliciting input from other people more, it allows an INTJ to make up for the natural tendency to ignore the views and feelings of others (which is a strength and can also be a very big weakness)

 

[milkyway2]

I dated an INTJ guy once. He was the biggest asshole and at the same time the nicest most caring guy I've ever known.


Explain this to me sir.

 

[highlander]

I dated an INTJ guy once. He was the biggest asshole and at the same time the nicest most caring guy I've ever known.


Explain this to me sir.

Um, well... I'm not sure. I think lots of people can act like assholes. What did he do? INTJs enjoy direct conversations that get to the heart of a situation which can sometimes feel to others like they are being confrontational. I also think for INTJ and INFJ, that eruptions of the inferior can be more intense than for other types. There is also this thing called maturity.

 

[InvisibleJim]

I dated an INTJ guy once. He was the biggest asshole and at the same time the nicest most caring guy I've ever known.


Explain this to me sir.

I've fell out with an INTP in the past. Te versus Ti.

Result > she wouldnt speak to me for weeks because I had upset her. After several weeks I wouldn't speak to her when she decided all was forgiven because I viewed it as a relationship that would always be doomed to failure.

I do love you guys though; We just need to remember to withdraw from the discussion once our Te starts to become too much for our Ni to handle and our friends the INTPs need to bear in mind that we challenge ideas because it is how we learn what to use them for and what their value is.