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[NF] NF: since we think 'differently' than normal folks...

niki

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This thread was originally intended to address INFPs (as i've just wrote it in INFPgc forum/board) , but I figure that it also seems to be the case generally with any NF folks!
so hence, I feel that I need to say it here too:

To fellow NFs here:

Since we 'operate' and think 'differently' than normal (majority, mainstream) folks in this world......then doesn't it struck you, that that means you have such immense potentials to share it to the world, rather than just wasting it?

And it doesn't necessarily have to be in the artistic-related field!
from what I've seen, there're also NFs who likes "hard logic" stuff like math, science, and so on, but what makes us different than other people in that field, is our unique perspective, mindset, as if it's a "innate gifts" as being an NFs, the only-small & usually also 'underrated' population of the world.

I know that some of you would probably say "well duh!" to this thread, but this just seems like a sudden 'Eureka!' moment , just today, after i've realized by talking to my INTJ cousin, of how 'different' I am (& always have been since little kid) from a lots of my friends. and as result of that, I often have this 'unique' & 'eccentric' perspectives, and outlooks about many things in life, as my friends often also noticed, and some even give compliments.

Then I thought, this idea could probably reminds all of us again, and even hopefully to motivate all of us, to keep staying on our track, and "be yourself" in whatever field you are right now, and to know that you are NEEDED to share that 'difference' , to make the world see it !
'cuz I remember reading some post by 40's-something INFP guy who said that INFPs often , due to their lack of self-esteem and confidence, don't know how much potentials they have that the the world (most people) would DIE to see or hear, or even have those potentials !
I guess he was right..

So as in my case, since I've also been blessed by musical talents, I wish to combine both my music talents, with my 'unique' perspectives & outlooks, as an INFP, and share it to many hearts out there, hoping to touch 'em, and hopefully, give some positive changes to the world! :)

how about you?

and pls feel free to discuss about this too, as what do you think about all of this :)
 

Anja

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Thank you for this, niki.

One of the things about being NF that is difficult is having some of the other types discount my observations. For my ISTJ husband, if he can't see touch, taste, smell, feel, hear something it doesn't exist. And if it doesn't exist for him it doesn't exist for anyone else either!

I wish I had a penny for every time someone has said to me, "You're reading too much into this." And I think to myself, "No. You're not looking deeply enough into the issue." ;)

I think we are more open to ideas that are different from ours and willing to learn to see others' viewpoints.

I've always been fortunate to have teachers that recognize my potential and help me develop it.

It's good to hear a positive attitude about our capabilities!

Edit: I want to add that over the years I have offered my husband many new ways of looking at things and his horizons have broadened. And I have learned many practical things from him as well.
 

blanclait

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wow seriously NF are quite different. in terms of goals.

anyways
there are some truth in what you say.

I guess the esteem problem may arise from the fact
the Sensors uses facts to prove their points, etc.
NTs... well they wont shut up if you question their logic.
But some of NF's belief. You can't really prove it.
and that may lead others to ridicule their ideas.

And due to that, i think that a lot of NF could not fullly explore their potential. As they believe their thoughts/belief are inferior and indulged themselves into negative thoughts.
But i believe this to be more of INFX deal, more than ENFX. Just like you stated heavily INFP related.

@anja
oo such classic ISTJ.
 

Amargith

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I'd like to chime in as an ENFX, and say that I certainly identify with the OP and the self-esteem issue.
 

CrystalViolet

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Where does one start with this?
There are so many things that are different, at least from my perspective.
One of the biggest things is Global thinking vs. detail orientated. This isn't restricted just to type, and can be a relief if there are a few global thinkers around, but it can be like banging your head against a brick wall when you are with a bunch of sensors. IRL, I come across as strongly intuitive, more so than here, I would say, which also gives me this spacey aura I think, which also gives people the excuse to totally discount what I'm saying. They learn. Do it once or twice, and people learn to listen when I have something to say. It's hard lesson for my co-workers to learn though, as it often cost lots of money. Although I guess, if some one said with complete conviction this is what's wrong, and can't give why at the time, then I guess I would ignore too. (I'm not sure about that though).
 

Moiety

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Being an idealist is about being passionate about utopia. We can look at it as fantasy or future. The former is good every now and then, but the latter is where the money's at. Both literally and figuratively.

Point being, NFs have loads of potential, they just need to get off their arses!
 

Lady_X

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it's a confidence in that potential that's lacking i guess...i feel pretty confident in most areas but damn do i second myself too much when it comes to the things i really care about.
 

Moiety

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it's a confidence in that potential that's lacking i guess...i feel pretty confident in most areas but damn do i second myself too much when it comes to the things i really care about.


There's no remedy against lack of confidence like taking chances. Confidence is trusting in your potential. Taking chances is testing the limits of your potential.
 
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Dwigie

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"Normal folks?", "bunch of sensors?":huh:
That could come across as plain contempt but I'll safely assume that wasn't your intention right? :whistle:
I agree with Stypg:D and also on all those who spoke about the self-esteem issues for fear of being ridiculed.
 

Geoff

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"Normal folks?", "bunch of sensors?":huh:
That could come across as plain contempt but I'll safely assume that wasn't your intention right? :whistle:
I agree with Stypg:D and also on all those who spoke about the self-esteem issues for fear of being ridiculed.

It seemed contemptuous to me, too :yes:
 

CrystalViolet

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Yes, I can be contemptuous, when I see something obvious, but others around me can't see the forest for the trees. Must I always protect others feelings, even, when speaking the truth? Don't get me wrong, it is actually a good thing seeing the details, but not when you spend hours and hours in meetings focusing on the minute, not moving forward and missing the point entirely. Focusing on small details does not move an organisation forward, it is however good for setting up good quality control procedures, and refining systems in place, but not when you trying to change the system entirely.
So, no, I'm not apologising this time. I waste too much time at work, trying to bring the focus outwards.
Yes, I get frustrated! I'm in a industry dominated by sensors, and I wouldn't change it, but leading a team still focused on refining and picking out small problems on old techniques, and data, when I'm introducing something new can bring the stress levels up a mite.
 

CrystalViolet

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Another thing, I'm not much into hierarchies. I like to treat my co-workers as equals, but when leading a team, others tend to get nervous with that approach. It has and can cause problems with authority issues. I also tend to put this down to my youthful good looks;) I like it because people tend to contribute more when not being intimadated, and strengths come out that you would never dream of at times, but there are times, when I have to put my shadow on (I'm sad to say,something I'm very comfortable with), and my shadow is a bitch.
 

Dwigie

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Yes, I can be contemptuous, when I see something obvious, but others around me can't see the forest for the trees. Must I always protect others feelings, even, when speaking the truth? Don't get me wrong, it is actually a good thing seeing the details, but not when you spend hours and hours in meetings focusing on the minute, not moving forward and missing the point entirely. Focusing on small details does not move an organisation forward, it is however good for setting up good quality control procedures, and refining systems in place, but not when you trying to change the system entirely.
So, no, I'm not apologising this time. I waste too much time at work, trying to bring the focus outwards.
Yes, I get frustrated! I'm in a industry dominated by sensors, and I wouldn't change it, but leading a team still focused on refining and picking out small problems on old techniques, and data, when I'm introducing something new can bring the stress levels up a mite.

Who says that Sensors can't see the forest for the trees?
It's not their priority but they can if they make an effort of course. They may not be as "skilled" as the other type in detailed work but they can. That's what set me off in the post.(Not that I wouldn't be on a sensor's back if he were lashing out on Ns of course.) That's like stripping an ability out of people when there is potential there.

NFs aren't wandering emotional messes who can't think critically as most people like to picture us. We're not as comfortable with impersonal decisions but we're not incapable of making them. I'm sure you're sick of hearing that about us as well aren't you?

It seems like you've dealt with extreme "S" but extreme anything tends to be a bit upsetting for the other side of course.
Who knows, they may be just as frustrated with you as you are with them :laugh:

I'd be annoyed by their unwillingness to "look at the bigger picture" rather than their focus on detail in itself. I mean if someone says they can't then they are lying....It's like people who say they can't exercise but have no medical or emotional health problem preventing them from doing it.
 

Dwigie

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Another thing, I'm not much into hierarchies. I like to treat my co-workers as equals, but when leading a team, others tend to get nervous with that approach. It has and can cause problems with authority issues. I also tend to put this down to my youthful good looks;) I like it because people tend to contribute more when not being intimadated, and strengths come out that you would never dream of at times, but there are times, when I have to put my shadow on (I'm sad to say,something I'm very comfortable with), and my shadow is a bitch.
I understand, I came across judgmental.:cheese: my bad.(I'm just guessing by the tone of the 1st post xD)
 

CrystalViolet

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Who says that Sensors can't see the forest for the trees?
It's not their priority but they can if they make an effort of course. They may not be as "skilled" as the other type in detailed work but they can. That's what set me off in the post.(Not that I wouldn't be on a sensor's back if he were lashing out on Ns of course.) That's like stripping an ability out of people when there is potential there.

NFs aren't wandering emotional messes who can't think critically as most people like to picture us. We're not as comfortable with impersonal decisions but we're not incapable of making them. I'm sure you're sick of hearing that about us as well aren't you?

It seems like you've dealt with extreme "S" but extreme anything tends to be a bit upsetting for the other side of course.
Who knows, they may be just as frustrated with you as you are with them :laugh:

I'd be annoyed by their unwillingness to "look at the bigger picture" rather than their focus on detail in itself. I mean if someone says they can't then they are lying....It's like people who say they can't exercise but have no medical or emotional health problem preventing them from doing it.
Ehh, I never said they can't. More like won't;) Yeah, there's often frustration all round, but believe me, I wouldn't change them for the world. They are the people who, when they accept them, bring my ideas into fruition, and make them work. I wouldn't trade them in for a bunch of N's, however fun that actually sounds. Except maybe the ESFJ's:D, they is stubborn, when they wants, but only if they weren't on my side.
Lucky for me I'm also very adept at smoothing ruffled feathers most of the time.
 

tibby

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We aren't normal? :D

It's very hard to express oneself if in a dominant S environment. In retrospect, I have always had, in every single stage of my life, someone, "a teacher" of some sort, who has supported and encouraged my "gifts" or talents or whatever :)D), someone who has paid extra attention. I appreciate their support.

If I had been all alone with the kind of aliniated feeling from this world and especially people - which I've had ever since I was little - would've caused a lot of damage to my psyche or smt. How to channel your talents when they are so different to others and not as directly encouraged in this schoolsystem - not even in this society? Where to find information and advice, when even you don't understand it? How to make yourself feel adequate?

I've been at the same "level" since I was 6 or 7 - the only things that have changed are experience and knowledge, gathering of "life wisdom" and skills. But the "knowing" and "understanding" and "seeing" I experience just the same - the seeing through the unseen, being sensitive to stuff that isn't necessarily obvious nor "explainable".

I just stopped taking things so seriously. The older I get the more fascinating people I've met. And if those people can see something fascinating in me, all the better :D Ideally there'd be a group of them sitting around a table and we could all talk about the weirdest ideas and all and come up with something completely ... weird :D Brainstorming

Maybe I'll write a self-help book someday, some new-age shiz! That shault be my heritage! Or start a cult that acclaims platypuses
 

niki

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I've stopped taking things seriously :D The older I get the more fascinating people I've met. And if those people can see something fascinating in me, all the better :D

can you share with me what is your perspective now on people that makes it 'fascinating' ?
especially in a situation where, like FireyPhoenix experiencing, being a 'different' person makes you somewhat underestimated & 'underrated' by normal-common people surrounding you. 'cuz this seems to be my problems in life too, and it's just very frustrating sometimes, no, often.
 

imaginaryart

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normal-common?

Hmm. there is no such thing as 'normal-common'

There is something to be learnt from everyone and if others choose to generalise or marginalise, their loss.

People are facinating, their different perspectives, the things that you can learn from someone without actually experiencing things from their point-of-view.

Plus, I am INFP and I don't think that being underrated by others has anything to do with me, it has to do with them and their inablity to perceive more.

I make people re-evaluate me. Eventually. If you are being 'underestimated' then you have to show people how to re-assess you.

Alot of people get underestimated because alot of people get judged on their surface appearance, when they are deeper then they appear. You just underestimated alot of people by generalising and categorising other people as 'normal-common' and you expect these same people not to do the same to do?

Change the way you define others and they may not necissarily change the way they evaluate you- but their will always be the
 

tibby

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can you share with me what is your perspective now on people that makes it 'fascinating' ?
especially in a situation where, like FireyPhoenix experiencing, being a 'different' person makes you somewhat underestimated & 'underrated' by normal-common people surrounding you. 'cuz this seems to be my problems in life too, and it's just very frustrating sometimes, no, often.

Hmm I meant that I have met more fascinating people at an older age - younger I didn't.

Hence I felt like I was weirdo - but now that I've met other weirdos, I've started to enjoy my own weirdoness more.
 
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