[NF] _NFPs, are you very private?

[prplchknz]

Hey, my life is pretty boring too, but what I let them in on is my mind, and that's a mindfield of excitement. You being my type, I know this must be true for you too.

yes but what is often on my mind has very little to do with my actual life. I hate in class first day having to introduce yourself, I'm like uuuuh their's really not much I could say about myself.

 

[BerberElla]

yes but what is often on my mind has very little to do with my actual life. I hate in class first day having to introduce yourself, I'm like uuuuh their's really not much I could say about myself.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I had to do all of that this term when I started college lol The only stuff about my life I can share is too off the wall for most of them to deal with, so I mostly just let them do the talking.

 

[prplchknz]

I'm like i gave you my name what else do you want? my thoughts on the universe?

 

[BerberElla]

I'm like i gave you my name what else do you want? my thoughts on the universe?

Oh, well after a few classes, I am more than happy to share my thoughts on the universe with them, wether they asked me for them or not lol.

 

[prplchknz]

Oh, well after a few classes, I am more than happy to share my thoughts on the universe with them, wether they asked me for them or not lol.

yes, but not the first class in the first five minutes

 

[Amargith]

I am pretty much an open book..with certain though very few chapters yanked out and put in a vault. If certain topics come up, I'll change the subject and ask about the other person instead. If I feel I can trust them and it is a one on one conversation, they might get a glimpse, or more, depending on who they are.

 

[BlackCat]

I'm private until I know I can trust someone usually.

 

[ragashree]

I don't see what right the writer of the OP has to expect an answer to a personal question of that nature from me! I don't even know them

 

[silverchris9]

Yeah, actually. There are certain self-perceptions that I refuse to share. To me, it's analogous to the whole "core of values" thing. I'm very open about myself up until a point, beyond which people are not allowed!

 

[antireconciler]

re kyuuei, Sytpg, FantailedWall, BerberElla, Amargith, and others

Me too!

I can be so personal, and yet in a way that's so direct that it's not personal at all.

As a matter of retaining a sense of dignity in the face of things about me I'm not comfortable with, I can't just hide stuff away because it would be a liability. People would find out, and it feels yucky to keep a secret. So I bite the bullet and trade the liability of a part of me for the isolation of the whole of me, because between social bonds and self bonds, I'll take the self bonds, and preserve my sense of self-integrity. Of course, it doesn't really solve anything in reality because I'm still keeping a secret but am pretending not to. Instead of hiding the fact, I'm quite enthusiastically hiding the shame I feel about it. But it can't disappear. What I hide from myself only becomes projected, and I expect to be rejected or turned away for what I say, again, because of my OWN perceptions which I don't recognize. That's why it has to appear as such an either-or choice between self and others. It's very dishonest, and is hardly self-integrity, despite my efforts. It's a stoical-like movement, I think.

 

[BlueScreen]

I'll add another to the list. I'm massively open and hate not being open or hiding stuff. You can probably get to know any fact about me or anything I've done, how I viewed an issue, what I saw in something, what I think is going on and the problems are, etc. If you want to really see into my soul though, or know my really deep motives, it is a lot more difficult. The things closest to my heart are never played on the stage of the world. And they are happy there. Throwing them around feels like breaking something sacred, and for some reason I'm often happy to put anything on the line, except it.

 

[ReadingRainbows]

Extremely Secretive...So secretive in fact a former date accused me of being a sociopath (far from it though)

 

[kiddykat]

I think most people tend to be pretty private about the most hidden aspects of their lives..

Some people are more of an open book about their experiences, opinions & thoughts to a certain degree. I definitely am.

It also has to do with how discerning we are willing to be about ourselves, when the moment is right & if we trust the other person.

Perhaps in different societies, people open up much more about their private lives (ex- polygamous cultures where wives are expected to be open & honest amongst each other as a way to sustain a micro support system). I see privateness as a social mores.

 

[gonzo]

I actually recognise myself in almost everything the various enfp's said here like beeing an open book with a lot of hidden pages...

I have the impression though that what for me is quite superficial (like an idea or a reflexion) seems alreay "deep" to many people... So, i imagine their faces if i tried to tell something about what is deeper in me such as my so confused/confusing "feelings"

I'm afraid i'm not sure people i know woud be patient enough, trying to share my doubts and to understand without judging or "telling me what to do"...

Each time i try, i feel so lonely, to be honest, in particular with men friends

So, i would say that i don't feel beeing private but have always been a lot in my opinion and probably because of this feeling/fear of "not beeing understood" and judged (and feeling judged without beeing understood can really burn me). And i feel much easier connected if the other talks.

I also often feel like a "lack of curiosity" from the others. With time, i come to accept that most people are just less curious than i am, thinking a bit too fast they have enough information to get their idea. But, hm, i can also avoid a lot of embarassing questions...

Hope this makes sense, really not sure

ps1: I'm totally new in the mbti stuff and reading many contributions already changes these feelings.

ps2: accept the extensive use of the smileys, i am new here and they are so great

 

[Lady_X]

^^ hey...i totally understand what you're saying. i'm usually disappointed when i share private thoughts because people don't react the way that i want...so it's easier to just share the things i don't care that much about unless i feel like i can trust how they will react...like this...this is personal...and more then a lot would share...but i'm open about it because i don't care...i'm not expecting a reaction, you know?

but something that's troubling me...yeah...i'll keep that to myself usually.

 

[RiderOnTheStorm]

^ I know just what you mean...

 

[gonzo]

yeah, difficult to even put words on something that is troubling me...

And then, it's also that when with people, even close friends, I am immediately enthousiast, "open" other subjects and curious about their lives, etc. The state of mind has totally changed!

 

[Lady_X]

I KNOW!! exactly...focus is on them instead...not intentionally...it just is and i do get happy...and wouldn't want to change that by bringing up negative stuff...unless it's a really close friend and we're having that kind of talk i guess....even then i'm a lil detached from it when i talk about it...if that makes sense.

 

[gonzo]

I could be totally depressed that most people wouldn't see it.... maybe because most people wouldn't see me, of course. Hence i suppose i need to get out a bit ealier next time i feel depressed. But still all these stranges things make us "very private" i presume...

 

[Lady_X]

i don't know if it's more so then others...probably not...but more so then people think, i guess.