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[INFP] Could INFPs lack a compatible type?

tortoise

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First saxman, welcome to the forums. :)

I would say that the theories on compatibilities for INFPs is about as good as any other type.

The common theories I've read suggest ENFJ, ENTJ, ESTJ, and ESTP. (That last one is Socionics, so be sure you are still an INFP under that system.) The problem is that all four types are pretty dominant, so it can be pretty easy to get steamrolled by any one of them. However, if you are able to hold your own with them, the dynamic can be pretty amazing.

An INFP would sink without trace with an ENTJ! With just a small bubble and 'glug' sound to show for it!
 

Thalassa

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An INFP would sink without trace with an ENTJ! With just a small bubble and 'glug' sound to show for it!

Gross.

What about other feelers? My only working relationships seem to be with other feelers, to be perfectly honest.

I don't think any interest or crushes or sexual affairs with Ts have ever led to anything useful for me, not ever.

I still stand by my theory that compatibility is a very individual thing to do with strength of various functions or just personality quirks or interests.
 

Udog

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I think sometimes these discussions focus too much on the now and less on the thoughts of the future, a future together based on growth and strengths.

Attraction in the now is what opens the way to explore future growth, though.

My ESTJ challenges me to develop my weaknesses; and I challenge and balance his. As we get older together, this dynamic is pretty interesting.

In what new ways do you guys develop each other weaknesses?

I still think that, for the most part, ESTJ/INFP is a more natural fit when the ESTJ is male.

An INFP would sink without trace with an ENTJ! With just a small bubble and 'glug' sound to show for it!

*laughs*

Honestly though, I don't see this as being a problem with the right ENTJ. I'd just avoid the ones that are more interested in a ladder rung (that they can use to climb to greater heights) than a partner.

Also, I've definitely experienced a battle of wills of sort with some female ENTJs. It's often playful and quite funny (they ding my less detail oriented nature with Te while I use my Fi sweep the leg counter-attack), but definitely a bit challenging. However, I’ve also had very open and honest conversations with ENTJs as well.

You just have to find one that’s self-aware enough to admit they have emotions (instead of going “I HAVE NO EMOTIONS LISTEN TO MY LOGICS RAWR!!!”) and desires to integrate that aspect of themselves.
 

Adasta

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My SO is an ENFJ and it works pretty well.

Apart from our petty squabbles, which usually revolve around her (ENFJ) "bossiness" and worrying, and my (INFP) forgetfulness and apparent lack of concern for the day-to-day requirements of life, we compliment each other superbly. She often comments on how I know exactly what she is thinking and I often enjoy how she plans everything (inc. planning what to have for dinner by about 2pm, then coming home and cooking it immediately!) so that, if I "don't feel like" doing something, all I have to do is "play my role" in her carefully laid plans.

Arguments are normal but I think we act as a bit of a sanctuary for the other at times. Sometimes when I feel a bit "flouncy" she is stable and when she is being a bit too rigid I can change her frame of mind. :hug:
 

JoSunshine

That's my name biotch!
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My SO is an ENFJ and it works pretty well.
I think we act as a bit of a sanctuary for the other at times.

:yes: My INFP commented the other day that being with me makes him feel "calm". I agree...when we are together it feels like a warm, safe, happy place for both of us.
 

digesthisickness

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for what it's worth, and i admit that could be nothing, i get along extremely well with male INFPs, whereas i have trouble dealing with the females.

i could easily see myself falling for a male INFP, but i can't imagine being able to sustain a long-term friendship with most of the girlies.

short term would be different though. however, it's just a matter of time before i'd annoy the shit out of a female INFP, and she'd say something, and then...

the males seem to have more patience with me and get when i'm joking much easier.
 
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Rebe

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An INFP would sink without trace with an ENTJ! With just a small bubble and 'glug' sound to show for it!

Uhm. No. We can definitely hold our own. If we decide that it's a waste of time trying to convince someone of our ideas and our perspective, we would just end the relationship and walk away. We wouldn't let anyone eat us up.
 

DiscoBiscuit

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I'd like to think I could be compatible with an INFP.

Although... I'm not your stereotypical ENTJ.
 

BlackCat

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The older INFP women I know settled down with an ISTJ. The INFP guys seem to end up with an EFJ.
 

Udog

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for what it's worth, and i admit that could be nothing, i get along extremely well with male INFPs, whereas i have trouble dealing with the females.

i could easily see myself falling for a male INFP, but i can't imagine being able to sustain a long-term friendship with most of the girlies.

I tend to get along really well with female ENTPs as well. I think theres something about the male INFP / female ENTP split helps smooth out the potential issues the Fi dom vs Fe tert interaction can create.

I had a pretty big crush on an ENTP in college, but alas, she was taken so I never got to really explore it.
 

digesthisickness

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I tend to get along really well with female ENTPs as well. I think theres something about the male INFP / female ENTP split helps smooth out the potential issues the Fi dom vs Fe tert interaction can create.

I had a pretty big crush on an ENTP in college, but alas, she was taken so I never got to really explore it.

sorry about the chick. crazy bitch.

yeah, i'm not sure exactly what it is, but the male INFPs just 'get me' much easier than the females do. they laugh when they're supposed to and can just as quickly go with the flow when i'm in a serious, contemplative, or emotional mood. it's a very smooth combo.

now, if only i could get me one for my very own.
 

Snuggletron

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Probably another INxx...preferably another INFP or INTJ. INTJ women are rare as hell, though. Please make more INTJ women.

I could see ENxP working too, though.
 

Udog

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sorry about the chick. crazy bitch.

:laugh:

yeah, i'm not sure exactly what it is, but the male INFPs just 'get me' much easier than the females do. they laugh when they're supposed to and can just as quickly go with the flow when i'm in a serious, contemplative, or emotional mood. it's a very smooth combo.

This is a good description. Shared Ne is very helpful in following the shifts, and ENTPs are often expressive enough for me to pick up on if something is silly or serious. Or, as often is the case, layered as both.

I think it helps that I rarely feel competitive with female ENTPs, and even when there is a bit of competition it often has a meta-wink-wink element to it. It opens the doorway to a type that views the world in very interesting, and very different, ways than I do.

My only concern with ENTPs would be when they get past a certain layer with me. It doesn't happen easily or quickly, but I worry I’d chase them off when deeper emotions begin to develop.

now, if only i could get me one for my very own.

Well, male INFPs are far too classy to be found at a Walmart. However, I hear that we can be found in the clearance aisle at Target. Target embarrassingly overstocked when they tried to capitalize on Johnny Depp madness.
 

digesthisickness

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this conversation is actually a very good example of how i get along with male INFPs. i notice that you got my joke, and then, even better, laughed, and then moved right on to serious with me. to top it off, you then expanded with your thoughts, and to put the cherry on top, you opened up in an honest way. honesty and the ability to open up so that i can see it, is rare and very appreciated in another person. it takes guts and, not only that, it's necessary and builds up via digging in.


This is a good description. Shared Ne is very helpful in following the shifts, and ENTPs are often expressive enough for me to pick up on if something is silly or serious. Or, as often is the case, layered as both.

absolutely. i can't remember ever having a problem regarding shift changes, and the conversation is so comfortable that i know it'll be okay and understood if i said, "actually, i was being serious there." the INFPs ability to pick up on such things is a blessing because usually people can't tell at all when i shift.

they also make me laugh quite easily. i can't emphasize enough how important that is because it's a heavy burden to always be the one cracking the jokes. it's fun and comes naturally, sure, but it gets tiring to always be the one teasing/joking. i like to laugh just as much!

I think it helps that I rarely feel competitive with female ENTPs, and even when there is a bit of competition it often has a meta-wink-wink element to it. It opens the doorway to a type that views the world in very interesting, and very different, ways than I do.

i was thinking this same thing when i was writing my earlier post. there is no feeling of competing. i don't feel as though i'm going to hurt the other's feelings and i can tell that they're able to cut loose the same way for the same reason. the tendency to not judge on both parts plus the senses of humor go very far. i could easily see that getting a couple through the rough times.

My only concern with ENTPs would be when they get past a certain layer with me. It doesn't happen easily or quickly, but I worry I’d chase them off when deeper emotions begin to develop.

i'm so glad to be able to clear this up. even if it is for those few who read this thread. it's that next layer, and the deeper ones (even better if it's the deepest!) that i look forward to delving into. i can see why this wouldn't be assumed by others, but it's so true. to me, that 'certain layer' is for friends/acquaintances/etc. it's that next layer that gives me what i need in a relationship.

the deepest, darkest, most intense layers are the most precious. it's those that i want to find and feel protective over on the other's behalf. it's knowing, exploring those layers that i feel sets me apart from everyone else, so it's those that mean the most.

i can handle any truth, no matter what it is. i WANT to. to me, it's that deepest knowing that creates the strongest love. i need to know so that i can love completely, and that's the kind of love i need. the 'knowing/accepting' one.

people who spill everything to everyone are the ones that bore me easily and leave me feeling like i'm nothing special... just a soundboard.



Well, male INFPs are far too classy to be found at a Walmart. However, I hear that we can be found in the clearance aisle at Target. Target embarrassingly overstocked when they tried to capitalize on Johnny Depp madness.

pfft. my INFP is in the back stocking. those little bastards are always hiding.
 

OrangeAppled

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Uhm. No. We can definitely hold our own. If we decide that it's a waste of time trying to convince someone of our ideas and our perspective, we would just end the relationship and walk away. We wouldn't let anyone eat us up.

:yes:
 

PeaceBaby

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Attraction in the now is what opens the way to explore future growth, though.

Of course. I am not suggesting otherwise. :)

In what new ways do you guys develop each other weaknesses?

My Te is asserting itself and his Fi is gaining a momentum in expression at our ages (40+). We meet in the middle quite frequently; I am able to use Te language more effectively and he is able to tap into his Fi to touch into the nuances of the moment. When I have a Te flare, he knows where it comes from; when he is unable to articulate the Fi I can coax it out, nourish it.

So what is less evident today becomes more so as we age and mature. There's a complementary aspect about that; someone who challenges you (in a supportive, loving way as opposed to a nagging way) to step up and get things done, be accountable, be on time, speak up for oneself, can be a good thing for an INFP.

I still think that, for the most part, ESTJ/INFP is a more natural fit when the ESTJ is male.

Perhaps. I think it's so hard to meet someone you're compatible with at all that it's limiting to set one's sights on only a few targets rather than a broader spectrum in the first place.
 

capslock

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Originally Posted by Rebe said:
Uhm. No. We can definitely hold our own. If we decide that it's a waste of time trying to convince someone of our ideas and our perspective, we would just end the relationship and walk away. We wouldn't let anyone eat us up.


Couldn't agree more.:yes:
 

Udog

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So I’m almost delirious with exhaustion… which means this is the perfect time to reply to this post! :happy2:

When I first joined, ENTP / INFP was viewed upon as a disaster in the making, so I’m glad to explore and question that notion. I know there are a lot of ENTPs that have a poor view of Fi, but I’ve also talked with several that appreciate it as well.

this conversation is actually a very good example of how i get along with male INFPs. i notice that you got my joke, and then, even better, laughed, and then moved right on to serious with me. to top it off, you then expanded with your thoughts, and to put the cherry on top, you opened up in an honest way. honesty and the ability to open up so that i can see it, is rare and very appreciated in another person. it takes guts and, not only that, it's necessary and builds up via digging in.

Likewise, I’m grateful that you not only noticed, but appreciated my effort AND took the time to let me know. Thank you.

absolutely. i can't remember ever having a problem regarding shift changes, and the conversation is so comfortable that i know it'll be okay and understood if i said, "actually, i was being serious there." the INFPs ability to pick up on such things is a blessing because usually people can't tell at all when i shift.

That’s interesting. I wonder if my other ENTP friends share the frustration with people not being able to read the shifts. I don’t think I’ve really asked them. *makes note* I can’t claim I always bat 100%, but generally the shifts are pretty obvious to me. I’m trying to think why it’s usually so clear, but I’m drawing up a blank. With ENTPs, I just usually go with the flow, knowing that it’s not going to get boring anytime soon.

they also make me laugh quite easily. i can't emphasize enough how important that is because it's a heavy burden to always be the one cracking the jokes. it's fun and comes naturally, sure, but it gets tiring to always be the one teasing/joking. i like to laugh just as much!

Likewise. In fact, ENTPs are great at reminding me to laugh when I start getting a bit too involved in some serious Fi – Si thought loop. Sometimes against my will, even. How dare you make me laugh when I’m trying to be all emo! Bastards!

i was thinking this same thing when i was writing my earlier post. there is no feeling of competing. i don't feel as though i'm going to hurt the other's feelings and i can tell that they're able to cut loose the same way for the same reason. the tendency to not judge on both parts plus the senses of humor go very far. i could easily see that getting a couple through the rough times.

Yeah, for ENTP / INFP to work, it's especially important for there to be honesty, open communication, and open mindedness. I think it's possible for us to step on each other's toes, but with my friends it's never maliciously.

i'm so glad to be able to clear this up. even if it is for those few who read this thread. it's that next layer, and the deeper ones (even better if it's the deepest!) that i look forward to delving into. i can see why this wouldn't be assumed by others, but it's so true. to me, that 'certain layer' is for friends/acquaintances/etc. it's that next layer that gives me what i need in a relationship.

the deepest, darkest, most intense layers are the most precious. it's those that i want to find and feel protective over on the other's behalf. it's knowing, exploring those layers that i feel sets me apart from everyone else, so it's those that mean the most.

i can handle any truth, no matter what it is. i WANT to. to me, it's that deepest knowing that creates the strongest love. i need to know so that i can love completely, and that's the kind of love i need. the 'knowing/accepting' one.

That's very well said. I can see how you'd do well with an INFP. Many of us are looking for someone to take with us into our inner worlds, but it's hard to find people who want to take the journey.

I won't be able to reply right away, but what are your thoughts on Fi as it reflects in the INFP?

pfft. my INFP is in the back stocking. those little bastards are always hiding.

We are just plotting an ambush with our nerf guns. :D
 

OrangeAppled

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I'm LMAO right now because on another board there are INFPs discussing how dating/being married to an ISTJ gave them PTSD :rofl1:

is it wrong to laugh?
 
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