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[ENFP] INFP vs. ENFP reasons for needing time alone

scattershot

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After reading all these threads by people questioning if they're INFP or ENFP, I think part of the problem is us ENFPs confusing everyone by saying we also need time alone. I'm guessing we need it for way different reasons than INFPs do, but that distinction is never explained in any of the type descriptions.

Introverts say they need time alone to recharge after socializing. For me, it's more the opposite. If anything, I need to discharge some of my energy after socializing or I'll be too hyped up to sleep.

Here are a few other reasons I just came up with:

- To get away from boring people. If I'm not enjoying the people, socializing will wear me out - like it's too mentally taxing to pay attention to the crap they're saying.

- To process something I've just seen, learned, or experienced. Sometimes I have to stop taking in more external stimulation to deal with the stuff I've already gotten (no idea if that makes sense, but the ENFPs will probably get it.)

- To just be flat-out weird and hyper and not have to deal with anyone's reaction to it. This is the one I'm most curious about because it isn't talked about very much. Do any other ENFPs do this? Seems like "alone time" is associated with sitting quietly in your room, but my alone time can be driving fast and singly badly along with my radio or taking an impulsive weekend trip to Vegas.

ENFPs, what do you think? Why do you need alone time and what do you do when you get it?
 

Lady_X

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yeah...most of that stuff for me too and another thing might be because when we're with people we're are so focused on them that we barely think of ourselves at all...my energy is inside their head...or something...hyper focused almost...so...we've got to go off and have independent thoughts...or just be creative or lazy or whatever...haha...ahh...sounds like the same reasons an introvert does though! haha
 

Wonkavision

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After reading all these threads by people questioning if they're INFP or ENFP, I think part of the problem is us ENFPs confusing everyone by saying we also need time alone. I'm guessing we need it for way different reasons than INFPs do, but that distinction is never explained in any of the type descriptions.

Introverts say they need time alone to recharge after socializing. For me, it's more the opposite. If anything, I need to discharge some of my energy after socializing or I'll be too hyped up to sleep.

Here are a few other reasons I just came up with:

- To get away from boring people. If I'm not enjoying the people, socializing will wear me out - like it's too mentally taxing to pay attention to the crap they're saying.

- To process something I've just seen, learned, or experienced. Sometimes I have to stop taking in more external stimulation to deal with the stuff I've already gotten (no idea if that makes sense, but the ENFPs will probably get it.)

- To just be flat-out weird and hyper and not have to deal with anyone's reaction to it. This is the one I'm most curious about because it isn't talked about very much. Do any other ENFPs do this? Seems like "alone time" is associated with sitting quietly in your room, but my alone time can be driving fast and singly badly along with my radio or taking an impulsive weekend trip to Vegas.

ENFPs, what do you think? Why do you need alone time and what do you do when you get it?

Yes! :shock::yes:

I agree 100%.

Well said.

Especially this:

If anything, I need to discharge some of my energy after socializing or I'll be too hyped up to sleep.

And this:

...my alone time can be driving fast and singly badly along with my radio or taking an impulsive weekend trip to Vegas.
 

Lady_X

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^^ i know!! totally can't just go right to sleep...and very much like to sing loud in the car and drive fast...taking the long way to wherever i'm going.
 

FantailedWall

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- To process something I've just seen, learned, or experienced. Sometimes I have to stop taking in more external stimulation to deal with the stuff I've already gotten (no idea if that makes sense, but the ENFPs will probably get it.)

It's all true - but this one - :yes: - so very much!

But I find that I DO actually have to get away to recharge sometimes. Well...actually, I'm not sure if that's in the same way as introverts, it's more a 'figuring stuff out before going back out into the field' thing. My time to think.
The best description of this being:
Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values.

Also, even though I'm very strongwilled and outspoken - if someone has upset me personally, I SUCK at confronting them about it. (If they offend my sense of morality it's a different matter altogether) And thus need time alone to brood, and work up the courage.
 

scattershot

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my energy is inside their head

Awesome description. :yes:

But I find that I DO actually have to get away to recharge sometimes. Well...actually, I'm not sure if that's in the same way as introverts, it's more a 'figuring stuff out before going back out into the field' thing.

Yeah, that's what I'm getting at here. I think "recharge" is the wrong word for what we do. It's more like processing information before we're ready to go out and get charged up again by the outside world. We're confusing the INFPs by calling it the same thing.

Also, even though I'm very strongwilled and outspoken - if someone has upset me personally, I SUCK at confronting them about it. (If they offend my sense of morality it's a different matter altogether) And thus need time alone to brood, and work up the courage.

I do this too...unless somebody pisses me off to the point where I just can't think at all. Then it all comes out before I even realize I'm going off on the poor fool. :devil:

And am I the only one thinking about how much fun it would be to have an ENFP meetup in Vegas? I probably wouldn't need to sleep the whole time with all that energy going on. :D
 

Lady_X

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^^ would be so much fun!! are you guys lucky too? i mean...i kinda rock at black jack.
 

scattershot

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My luck's kinda streaky and inconsistent...like everything else I do. :tongue:

I usually do well at blackjack and poker. I can even count cards if I really want to, but I get bored and lose interest pretty quickly. I rarely come back from Vegas with any money left, though. Whatever I win at the card table during the day is just ammunition for my drunk nights of nickel slots or video poker.
 

Lady_X

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yay! you can sit by me vanillacat. :D
 

silverchris9

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Scattershot, I agree 1700% with your first reason. It takes energy to be around boring people!

I enjoy being by myself in order to synthesize information from outside myself, although it's always been my preference to be around other people without being directly involved in whatever they're doing. So although I like being left alone, I've never really been in love with being alone. When I'm alone, I'm either reading, writing/thinking (and I'm not using that word in the Junging functional sense, because it's more like a blend of thinking and intuition, heavy on the intuition), doing something mindless (like video games or certain homework), making contact with people via internet (facebook, forums, etc.), or ruing the fact that I'm alone. Even boring things like cleaning up or doing homework I'd MUCH rather do with someone else than by myself, except for the fact that sometimes I'm distracted by the other person and fail to get the stuff done.

So ultimately, I guess my answer would be a combination of 1 and 2. Otherwise, I'm ready to go find more people. I usually just do the weird stuff around other people, especially family and close friends. Occasionally not family or close friends, which tends to freak other people out, but whatever about that.
 

FantailedWall

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And am I the only one thinking about how much fun it would be to have an ENFP meetup in Vegas? I probably wouldn't need to sleep the whole time with all that energy going on. :D

Yay! Interesting people and shiny things!
 

scattershot

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I enjoy being by myself in order to synthesize information from outside myself, although it's always been my preference to be around other people without being directly involved in whatever they're doing.

Ooh - good point, Chris. I'll go to Starbucks to use my laptop and be around people, but sit there with headphones on and not talk to anyone the whole time. I just need the stimulation of having them around or something.

Yay! Interesting people and shiny things!

:yes: How could any ENFP resist that?

I would love to be a fly on that wall.

Screw being on the wall, you better be flying along with us if you want to see anything. Something tells me this group wouldn't be staying in one place very long. :D
 

BlackCat

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Interesting... Extroverts have to be alone to discharge energy. I didn't think of it that way.

For you extroverts to understand, we probably get the same sensation while socializing. I am usually beat and want to sleep after I socialize. I really crave to socialize to let out all this energy I build up being alone, otherwise I will be over hyper and restless.
 

Lady_X

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but wait...that sounds kinda the same too...damn...i think we just keep confusing everybody...or maybe it's just me.
 

scattershot

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For you extroverts to understand, we probably get the same sensation while socializing. I am usually beat and want to sleep after I socialize. I really crave to socialize to let out all this energy I build up being alone, otherwise I will be over hyper and restless.

Cool - thanks for explaining it from an introvert's point of view. Looks like it really is the exact opposite of how Es work.

That's why I think most of the INFP/ENFP confusion is because the words we're using are wrong. To me, it seems like people have to be either one or the other. Maybe there are some rare ambiverts who really do feel the same way whether they're around people or not, but I haven't met one yet.

Erin - It's not just you, this stuff is confusing.

I'm guessing your version of being "hyper and restless" from being alone is way different than BlackCat's. I get restless and agitated when I've been alone for too long, but it's not the same as that fun, hyped-up, can't sleep feeling I have when I get home from shooting pool at the bar.
 

Lady_X

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right...it's a i gotta get out of the effing house now!!! feeling...is that not what he was saying? it is confusing but...i know i behave in an extroverted way when i'm with people and i don't get tired of it ever if i'm enjoying my company...which i usually am. i don't ever feel like i have to get away.
 

prplchknz

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I think almost every extrovert needs at least a tiny bit of time alone, just like almost every introvert needs at least a tiny bit of time with someone. I've only met one extrovert in my life who it seemed like never needed to be alone, only time she was alone when she was sleeping at. no matter what time of the day it was if one of her friends weren't over she was on the phone.

and boring people are draining no matter who you are.

and for me I do have people that aren't draining, that I can spend all day with and still not be exhausted but those are few and far between. average time I can spend with people before I get cranky and want to go off by myself is about three hours.


I guess like blackcat says it makes sense because after too much time alone I feel restless and I need someone to expel energy with.
 

BlackCat

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I think the whole being fed up with being alone thing is derived from human nature. Whether introverted or extroverted we are social creatures on this earth.

Let me put it this way. We both want to socialize, but for different reasons. Extroverts seek to socialize because they will get tired and feel lazy if they just sit around, introverts want to socialize because they have retained too much energy from being alone and must release it.

While socializing the extrovert will feel energised, happy to be out of his/her solitary state. This is why they are called the "life of the party" because they get a natural high off of interaction. It's a feeling that only they can understand by being there socializing.

For the introvert while socializing he will feel relieved to let out his/her energy out, this is why some people act very extroverted but then mellow out. When introverts run out of this energy retained from being alone, they may get irritable and generally be in a bad mood (the same feeling extroverts get when they are alone for too long.). This is why introverts after a while will want to stop socializing so they can go back to solitude to recharge, and this is also why extroverts will want to leave their solitary state to go out with people to recharge.

They truely are opposites.
 
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